Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continued to glamp in the muck of Montana. The country air doesn't seem to be doing much to restore their constitutions, but it does seem to be causing them a great, aggrieved case of boredom. I have no idea how long they were stranded out there – alone, in luxury cabins, without butlers and forced to clear their own breakfast dishes – but one thing is for sure: Kristen Taekman is a horrible hostess!
It seems that Kristen can't do anything right. She can't make the air conditioner cool enough to quell Ramona Singer's hot flashes. She can't find someone to fillSonja Morgan's bed – and Sonja has resorted to wearing underwear. She can't get Heather Thomson to take her seriously or care what she thinks. And worst of the worst of the worst of all – she can't get anyone to Geocache!
Bravo has been having trouble with Real Housewives of New York for quite some time. They fired four ladies, hired three new ones and then waited over a year to air the sixth season. In between there was a slew of hiring and casting drama that included the Housewives going on strike!
Now ratings are low as viewers have seemingly lost interest in the Pinot and Commado show – or they forgot the show existed during the long hiatus. With that comes a rumor that Bravo is looking to do another sweeping recast and basically clear the deck once more.
The original New York Housewife is full of opinions about what went down when the ladies visited Montana. And based on the readability and the amount misspelled words, I can only assume this was after a bottle of Ramona Pinot Grigio. (Editor's note: I cleaned up Ramona's blog a bit, just an fyi so you don't think Suzy's wrong about there being errors.)
After all the time she spent in Montana isolated with Sonja Morgan and Ramona Singer (aka Commando and Pinot), Carole Radziwill needs a break. Big time. You can feel her frustration seeping out of her Bravo blog. You could feel my frustrations as I screamed at the TV for them to shut it. And put the wine down. Advice Carole echoes.
Carole admits that she grew tired of the drinking, complaining, going commando, and mostly that neither Sonja nor Ramona had a nice thing to say to Kristen Taekman. But most frustrating to Carole was that Sonja didn't seem to care that she hurt LuAnn de Lesseps' feelings. Let's break down what she has to say!
First of all – the obvious. "Sonja is drinking. Again," writes Carole. "Sonja brings up a sore subject. Again." Carole explains just why LuAnn was hurt by Sonja entertaining the facialist's gossip.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies continued to terrorize Montana like a plague. The beautiful surroundings of wild Montana shrank beneath the force of their bickering, bad behavior, and crying orgasms. And Cowboy Paul stroked his gun lovingly and thought, thank goodness I've got this to protect me in the apocalypse.
In the luxury accommodations, Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Do Me are bored and suffering from cabin fever. Carole Radziwill is suffering from being too long in the asylum – serves her right for trying to observe crazies in their native environment. To assuage her boredom Sonja Morgan invites the sexy (and very young) ranch hand over to clean out the kitchen while she swans around in a negligee swatting at him with a toilet brush. I am positive she molested him by the seductive light of the fridge. Carole lost her breakfast.
Sonja is bitter that they'll be spending another night at the ranch instead of out in the town sizing up the locals – there could be hot and swarthy cowboys ready for a Mrs. Robinson adventure with a big city gal. Sonja apparently thinks Reese Weather-spoon is out there, just waiting to have fun. Instead Kristen Taekman has planned a chef to come and make dinner for the girls. Sonja is over personal chefs – she does this everyday! With what budget? I wasn't aware that Groupon offered this?
Admittedly, I do this every time a newbie joins a franchise. I fall in major like with the fresh face only to come back and bite my words a few seasons later. Real Housewives of New York is no different. I love Kristen Taekman. I adore that she's friends with Carole Radziwill and (Holla!) Heather Thomson. She's even a good sport with LuAnn deLesseps (who I like more now that she's in smaller doses) and Sonja Morgan. Best of all? She finds Aviva Drescher to be a total nut job…and, truth be told, I was quite the Aviva fan her freshman season. Hey, at least I realize my shortcomings, right?
Beginning her Bravo blog, Kristen jokes, "Yup, the 'new girl' is taking all these fancy NY Ladies to Montana. Naturally, Carole and I need a wax. Funny, so Carole and I spoke that morning and go figure, we both had waxes that day at the same place so we decided to go together! Don't all girlfriends go to hold their friend's hands while they get their kitty waxed? Ha ha! I roll in wax for real. I wax everything! Arms, legs, mustache, brows, kitty…TMI I know — but after all, this is a reality show! So we are waxed and ready for Montana! PS. Carole is a natural blonde who knew?? #shhhhhhhh" Bwahahaha! TMI, Kristen. T.M.I.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies headed to the wild, wild west in Montana. Kristen Taekman organized the trip and like the over-eager rookie she is, she expected everyone to be jumping with glee at the prospect of spending a week at a dude ranch far, far away from any actual dudes. Now you know Sonja T. Morgan was going through withdrawal something terrible – something that even a pair of cotton granny panties couldn't cure.
Before the ladies left Aviva Drescherdecided she needed a little attention. Because you know – Meviva. Aviva had suddenly came down with a rampant case of asthma. She's allergic to horses, and hay, and long plane rides with women she does not like, and best-selling books, and being away from Saint Reid, savoir of upper east side princesses with daddy issues. Clearly Aviva is not allergic to asses – I mean she's able to be around George.
Trying to keep up the charade, Sonja has been claiming that she actually sold the property but court papers prove otherwise! Sonja was attempting to liquidate the property for $8 million to settle the $7 million dollar judgment against her, but it failed to sell. The court then decided she wasn't making a serious effort and took matters into their own hands.