Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her.
There’s been a lot of rumors now that perma-ingrate Stassi Schroeder is making a lot of enemies. In a new interview the Vanderpump Rules star complains that editing makes her look like a “mean girl” and reveals that she’s probably done with the show!
“I’m kind of over the reality TV thing. It’s too stressful. It really is stressful. There’s so much negativity,” explains Stassi. “Most people do reality TV as a stepping stone. They can use it as a platform. Anyone who chooses to do reality TV for the sake of doing reality TV has to be insane.”
“Honestly, I’ve wanted to use this (TV show) to build up a following,” Stassi continues. “I’ve been slowly working my way up in fashion. If I didn’t have the show, those things wouldn’t be possible.”
Stassi Schroeder has been losing more friends and isolating even more people lately as she spends her time on Vanderpump Rules complaining about SUR, the staff, and how she is soo above them all – and that’s exactly why boyfriend Patrick Meagher doesn’t appear with her on her lame reality show. Lisa Vanderpump is gonna love this latest comment…
Other than lambasting SUR nonstop, Stassi mooches around her “grownup” LA apartment and raves about her mysteriously absent boyfriend Patrick, purchased from the Kenya Moore Kollection of IMANginary Boyfriends. Stassi defends her relationship and her reasons for keeping her boyfriend away from SUR – he’s got a real job and everyone there is embarrassing. Including Stassi? Who doesn’t have a real job, dresses like a depressed Golden Girl, and seems to have left her brain in NYC replacing it with over-inflated ego.
“I keep him separate from my job. He has nothing to do with it. It’s not his thing,” Stassi explained. “It’s really important to have things be very separate.”
Sometimes when I write these recaps I wish I had more time to ponder the happenings. I get myopic vision and tunnel in on certain ideas, then I read or see something else and it’s like: aha! How did I miss that? But alas, the world of blogging moves swiftly and there is no time for deep consideration about reality TV.
The cast of Vanderpump Rules managed to come together to celebrate Scheana Marie‘s bachelorette party in Miami. And so far, no one has died – yet!
Katie Maloney reveals that she was happy to be invited – even if it meant damaging her friendship to Stassi Schroeder. “I really wasn’t looking forward to a trip with both Jax and Kristen but I had come so far with my process of letting go and not letting petty grudges get the best of me,” Katie shares. “Besides there are plenty of people I love going on this trip. I’m not going to let two people ruin it.”
“Of course, I had some concerns and fears of the worst,” Katie admits. “There was still plenty of lingering drama between several people going, myself included. However, this trip was about Scheana and shay and celebrating them!”
Last night the over-grown adolescents of Vanderpump Rules made the trek to Miami for Scheana Marie‘s bachelorette party. Naturally the thing to do is to also invite your Maid of Honor’s mortal enemy, who also happens to be on the FBI watch-list for stalking – just to make sure everyone has an unforgettable time! If Kristen Doute were a superhero her power would be stealing fun. Except Kristen is not a superhero – she’s a super villain.
Packing for the trip Shay, the lumbering manhulk of sullen drudgery, finally speaks. Holding up a pair of flamboyant swim trunks, he looks down at his open suitcase, then at Scheana and mumbles, “This is really setting in right now.” Yep – one step closer to being Mr. Scheana Marie Almost Famous. Score!
The other problematic goings-on is Jax Taylor. Just that very morning Jax apparently ran head-first into a glass door, busting open his forehead. Now he looks even more like a scientific experiment where the world’s most attractive man is turned into a Frankenstein monster of evil. Peter recognizes this is not gonna be good.
Ariana Madix usually doesn’t let the nonsense of Vanderpump Rules phase her too much. As the general port of calm in the storm, she refrains from mixing herself up in the drama of insane asylum inmates populating Lisa Vanderpump‘s restaurant.
But last week’s episode? That was the episode that made Ariana snap. Apparently it had to do with birthdays, Jax Taylor‘s lies, and Stassi Schroederacting like they’re all nobodies to her elevated status of fully actualized adult human being.