They dig right in, wanting more info on Stassi’s now infamous ‘sex tape’. Stassi reveals, “Honestly, I only did it like twice.” She then compares it to people who get pregnant after one try, because her sex tape happened after one try. Brandy asks questions, trying to get a better visual of the whole thing. Stassi was naked, alone in the video, and it was filmed on a phone that was propped. “I don’t like reliving this.” Julie and Brandy try to convince her that it probably looks hot. Stassi admits that Scheana told her it looked hot when she saw it. “That did not make me feel better at all.”
Ariana Madix is in a funk. Is that funk is hanging out with Scheana Marie (who complains that Ariana hasn’t been there as much as Scheana needs her to be)? Ariana carries a general malaise that can’t be cured by looking hot in a lace bikini! If shopping doesn’t work like Prozac, something is amiss! It’s not like Ariana is Stassi Schroeder, living on Kristen Doute‘s couch (no, no – not the one she banged Jax on while watching Drive, but more on that couch in a bit!).
Andy has a little fun at James Kennedy‘s expense (and I’m not mad at him for it). About James calling himself the white Kanye West and saying the Pump CD is the single greatest thing he has ever done in his life, Brittany says, “That’s embarrassing.” Jax just says, “I don’t even have to say anything. He just kind of buries himself. It’s almost too easy.”
It has been quite a busy few days for the cast of Vanderpump Rules, from reunions to birthdays to new apartments and new friendships – they’ve had milestones! Tom Schwartz may not wanna grow up, but he’s engaged to Katie Maloney and forced to like go adulting. So, Tom 2 and Katie Who moved into a new apartment!
“I spent the whole day being a whiny ahole so I’m shaming myself on Twitter. We got a new apartment!” Tom2 shared on Twitter. Good for Tom and Katie. Did Tom 2 get a real job or something? Hopefully they’re get some new grownup furniture.
Last night on Vanderpump Rules an informal peace summit was finally staged, over shots, in, of all places, Lala Kent‘s apartment!
Stassi Schroeder is still milling around Los Angeles lost adrift the skeletons of the friendships she buried when Saint Patrick of the Mount Perfectionist Adultiness loved her. Now, knocked down to mere mortal status, Stassi is alone and friendless with only Kristen Doute (and Anonymous Stassi Schroeder Klone No 1. Kristina), to consume Pinot and laments with her. Luckily our trusty friend Lala will remedy allll that!
Over on the homefront – SUR – JaxTaylor is back at work after his shoplifting suspension but no one is glad to see him. Lisa Vanderpump isn’t finished with her tough love just yet! To really remind Jax of what a bad boy he’s been, she orders him to do *gasp* COMMUNITY SERVICE. She’s like a an uber-glamourous court circuit judge with a vendetta! Lisa remands Jax to gather all his unworn clothes to donate to charity. Plus, he has to force the Toms to do this with him.