Stassi Schroeder

Stassi in Montak

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, we learned that Stassi Schroeder‘s problems with men run deep. Like down in the beautiful, briny sea deep. She’s also being strangled in turtleneck-form by her own ill-advised hubris.

Now, I must do a disclaimer with this recap: Do not expect my usual greatness of prose mixed with pearls of wisdom, as I have the worst cold I have ever had in my human existence. And I feel like garbage. Like what Tequila Katie (minus Tom 2) may smear on Scheana Marie‘s overly-contoured face.

Can we talk about Scheana? Ho-ly does that girl need a ‘stink face’ removal procedure. Didn’t anyone warn her that her face will freeze that way if she makes a poop face immediately after getting Botox? I mean, I get it – she has a hard-earned summer body to protect, but lighten up and eat a lil’ clam. I hear Kristen Doute loves them.

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stassi-schroeder-scheana-marie-wwhl

Tonight’s Watch What Happens Live guests were Vanderpump Rules stars Scheana Marie and Stassi Schroeder. Scheana was a good sport and answered a lot of questions about her split with Mike Shay and her dating status – and those rumors of dating Mike Comrie. Stassi defended herself, denying that she dictates who her friends can hang with.

When called a buzzkill on the Montauk trip, Scheana says “Seeing it now all edited together, definitely. At the time I thought it was just a no here and a no there, but yeah, sorry.” Stassi says, “it was a no everywhere.” Scheana apologizes.

Vanderpump Rules & Summer House cast in Cabo

Several of the stars of Vanderpump Rules headed to Cabo to party into the New Year. Along for the trip were Lauren Wirkus and Ashley Wirkus, twins, and stars of the new Bravo show Summer House. (They made a cameo on Pump Rules earlier in the season).

Kristen Doute, her boyfriend Carter, Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor, Tom 2 and Katie Too, plus Stassi Schroeder and their friend Rachel O’Brien all hopped on a plane to spend New Year’s Eve beach-style. Naturally, since reality stars cannot do anything without a selfie-stick in the hand which isn’t holding a cocktail, the cast shared plenty of photos of their debauched and relaxing beach week.

Click below to check out their pics below!

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Ariana & Brittany in Sonoma

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules featured dueling birthday trips – one made no attempt to be classy and the other pretended to be something they’re not.

First up, Ariana Madix grabbed the Toms and Jax Taylor for an RV trek around Sonoma Wine Country, which ground to a halt at a NASCAR track for wieners and wienies. The wienie being Tom 1 who whined and cried – in front of Ariana’s brother no less – that Ariana doesn’t find his man bun and overall short-alls attractive enough to f–k. The poor Toms – it seems they have something in common, in that their ladies would rather do anything but them.

But first there was the drama over The Missing Lala.

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Scheana Marie Celebrates New Year's Eve

Happy 2017 – here’s a selfie! All of your favorite reality stars rang in the New Year and celebrated New Year’s Day with plenty of vacations, antics, and social media sharing.

Above, Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Marie, who just filed for divorce from her husband Mike Shay, is ready to start fresh in 2017 with a big F-U to 2016.

Below, see photos from Caroline Stanbury, Melissa Gorga, new Celebrity Apprentice star Snooki, Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador – who celebrated together – Julianne Hough, and more!

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pump-rules-stassi

Stassi Schroeder is licking her wounds after a few tumultuous episodes of Vanderpump Rules and opening up to Theo Von (ex of the illustrious Brandi Glanville) on his podcast “Allegedly.”

Stassi dishes on all the Vanderpump Rules drama, including that she’s so upset over the editing of the last couple episodes that she’s considering quitting the show, her issues with Lisa Vanderpump, and a whole lot about her personal life.

Stassi admits she’s headed to Cabo with some of her castmates to be the “seventh wheel” on a couples trip, because she’s vowed to stay single for an entire year. She’s presently just ‘dating’ on many apps, which she hates.

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Lisa fires James again

Get your Tom + Katie tea towels ready to clean up the muck that has become Vanderpump Rules!

Recovering from Christmas and an ultimate cookie binge, the last thing I’m in the mood for is whining from Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. But, alas, I am nothing if not a consummate professional, so I have wrenched myself from the sluggish glut of a living room filled with wrapping paper (how many calories does wading through wrapping paper burn?) to complete this recap. Happy holidays! Katie just blew her life savings on $18.00 custom tea towels, and her life now consists of hatefully glaring at Tom Schwartz while folding said towels into cardboard boxes, wrapping the whole thing with twine, and mailing it. In case you were wondering wtf: that’s her wedding invite.

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pump-rules

Happy Wednesday. Take a break from your last minute holiday shopping and check out our new roundup of reality star instagram pics! We’ve got snaps from the Vanderpump Rules cast, Southern Charm, former RHOBH star Yolanda Hadid, Teen Mom dad Jeremy Calvert and more, including Ariana Madix and Scheana Marie bumping butts. Oh and Brandi Glanville in a bikini.

Above: Kristen Doute captioned this photo with, “Three babes, one super-sized brain #pumprules.”

Check out the photos below!