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Survivor Recap

Last night’s Survivor had it all…lost love (what will Ozzy do without Elyse?), drama (Mikayla or Edna?), pious musings (Coach and Brandon…take your pick), backstabbing (um, Albert?), a touching after-school special moment (Dawn and Cochran are finally invited to the party!), and of course, a rousing final speech (courtesy of Crazy Pants). It was epic. Oh, and there was a shuffleboard challenge.

Back at the beach, Ozzy is flabbergasted by his fellow Team Pretty members for voting against the alliance. He declares himself a free agent, and both Keith and Whitney think he’s being just a tad dramatic for taking Elyse’s elimination so personally. Dawn calls him out for not playing as honestly as he wants his teammates to play, and Ozzy is prompted to admit that he has found the immunity idol. To each his own is Ozzy’s new way of life with Savaii. The following the say, his tribe mates think he’ll come around, but the following day he’s still pouting. The Savaii tribe is in agreement that he’s being an annoying cry baby, and Dawn and Cochran are finally part of the in-crowd.

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Last night’s Survivor gave us a peek into a changing, slightly crazier Coach, who we are sure to see more of in upcoming episodes. The duel pitted friend against friend, and the immunity challenge was just a whole lot of gross, gagging nastiness.

Stacey joins her biffle Christine on Redemption Island. Stacey relays to Christine all the lying and drama that has been going on with the Upolu. She tells Christine that Coach is the ring-leader (and the pot stirrer), and that all the people in the blue tribe are heading to hell wearing gasoline drawers. If Stacey ever gets tired of being a mortician, she can take her one-liners on the road.

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Last night’s Survivor was very cut-throat. As usual, Brandon does a lot of repenting, Dawn does a little ass kicking to win immunity for her tribe, and Cochran and Marijuana Jim devise a plan to disrupt Team Pretty. I am loving Savaii this season. Is it just me, or is the Upolu just a bunch of Shady McShadersons?

The episode begins with Ozzy and Elyse getting cozy on a hammock. Marijuana Jim is getting jealous nervous that their bond may be tighter than his is with Ozzy. He’s worried Ozzy is morphing into Rob Mariano. MJ quickly realizes that Elyse has to go before they become a power couple. Has someone been smoking dope watching Bachelor Pad? Marijuana Jim finds a quick ally in Cochran, as it buys him more time to prove himself.

Over at Upolu, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is apologizing to Mikayla for gravitating towards untruth. He next approaches Edna to repent for his lying and to casually mention that Edna is not a member of the main alliance like she thought she was. I couldn’t tell if it was a strategic move on Brandon’s part or inadvertent slip-up. You never can tell with that sneaky BHCP.

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Last night’s Survivor: South Pacific began with Christine joining Semhar on Redemption Island. She’s down, but not out, and both women are confident about their potential second chance after the duel.

At Upolu, Mikayla tells Coach she was blindsided by Brandon, and guess who just happens to interrupt their conversation? Why it’s mini-Russell Hantz himself! I assume that he is going to apologize to Mikayla for his lies, but instead he opts for a side hug from Coach. Brandon never planned to come on the show and play the game like his uncle. He wanted to be a hero not a villain. Oops!

The Upolu tribe receives two invitations to attend the duel. Coach requests to go, and Stacey wants to join him. Ozzy and Elyse are the witnesses from tribe Savaii. During her week on Redemption Island, Semhar has found time to braid her hair. I almost didn’t recognize her. Right away, Christine tells Jeff Probst she was voted off the main island because of Coach’s disdain for her (true) after she called him a temporary player.

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Last night’s Survivor: South Pacific had the blue Upolus scheming, leading each of them to wonder which tribe mates they should trust, while the red Savaiis welcomed Cochran…but for how long?

Semhar is the first castaway sent to Redemption Island and is overly emotional as she awaits the arrival of the next cast off from the main island. Fear not, she chooses to combat her feelings of negativity by channeling her inner Maya Angelou.

On the main island, at the Savaii camp, Cochran is thanking his lucky stars he didn’t get his torch snuffed and is thanking his teammates. He promises he’ll prove them he’s a worthy ally. Ozzy identifies with his passion but needs to see some getupandgo from the little guy. Keith is finally getting some air time, both befriending and questioning Ozzy.

Day four at the Upolu has Coach telling Edna he feels like he started on the outside. He asks Edna who has the immunity idol. As there has been no obvious digging, she is concerned it’s already been found. Edna is worried that she may be the first voted out of her tribe, so she strategically aligns herself with the pro.

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Last night the ninety minute premiere of Survivor: South Pacific aired on CBS. Two former Survivor staples and two-time previous game players Ozzy Lusth and Coach Wade are back to square off with the newbie castaways on an episode aptly titled “I Need Redemption.”

Right off the bat, we meet John “Cochran” Cochran who has watched every season of the show, and even wrote a prize winning paper on it while in law school at Harvard. Native American Elyse isn’t much into the outdoors, but she’s hoping her heritage will work to her advantage, and then there’s Rick a rancher from the Midwest. Stacey is a funeral director and mortician who promises to be nosy and while pretending to play nice. Russell Hantz’s (a former Survivor with multiple games under his belt) nephew Brandon likens himself to Hitler’s nephew and vows to change the perception of his family’s name. Maybe not the most accurate of comparisons, but he doesn’t want his fellow castaways to know that he shares the blood of a Survivor competitor who wouldn’t have won any popularity contests.

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Following a season filled with twists, the finale episode of Survivor: Redemption Island aired tonight as a new winner emerged!

The game began with the final and very anti-climatic Redemption Island challenge. Playing for an opportunity to be voted off again by Rob Mariano were his zombies Andrea, Matt, and Grant alongside Mike. Andrea made it very clear going into the game that she was the “under under dog” so of course the challenge was one that was geared for her she was able to win. It was a challenge which required balance, and after Grant, Matt, and Mike lost balance in that order, Andrea won her shot back into the game.

While it seemed like the perfect opportunity for Rob’s groupies Ashley and Natalie to team up with Andrea and vote off Rob one of the men, they simply failed to use their brains as Rob was able to convince them, quite easily, to vote off Andrea. Rob was so confident in his mind control over his cult members that he even contemplated not playing his idol. Ultimately he did though he didn’t need to as the others voted off Andrea.

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On this week’s Survivor, “A Mystery Package,” the Murlonio tribe reigns supreme as the final two Zapatera members, former NFL player Steve Wright and farmer (and my favorite) Ralph Kiser, are sent packing for Redemption Island. Puppetmaster Boston Rob Mariano continues to pull the strings which will likely ensure him a spot in the finale, seeing as his minions can’t think for themselves.

Last week, Julie’s flame was extinguished, but not before she admitted to burying Federal Agent (?) Phillip’s shorts where they will never be found. Fortunately, the “mystery package” was not the viewers having to watch Phillip tool around in his pink tighty-whiteys (tighty-pinkys?) for the entire episode–this undercover specialist has a dream in which his grandfather comes to him and leads him to his missing shorts. Lo and behold, he actually finds the spot, digs and digs, and retrieves his shorts. Thankfully. He can’t wait to face Julie wearing said shorts, and compares it to a scene from A Few Good Men. “You know what I want to say to Julie? What did Jack Nicholson say to Tom Cruise? ‘You can’t STAND the truth.’” Eh, close enough, Phillip.

Matt, Mike and Julie make the trek over from Redemption Island to see who will be second loser the next member of the jury. Matt admits that he feels at peace, and if God thinks it’s his time to go home, he’s ready to leave. He glances quickly (and not too kindly) at that chick who threw him under the bus Andrea, who later remarked that it seemed like he gave her a dirty look, but she could be reading into it. Yeah, that’s it. The three compete in a battle to the death, or “shuffleboard” as the geriatrics call it. Sadly, Julie just can’t slide the disk across the board, so puck it, she’s the newest addition to the jury.

Andrea feels some guilt for breaking Matt’s spirit “on a human level, not on a game level” (thanks for the clarification), which causes her Ometepe buddies to question her loyalty in the event Matt comes back from Redemption Island. With that in mind, the cast heads to a log roll competition for the immunity challenge and reward–chocolate cake and ice-cold milk. After two nail-biting rounds of the castaways tap dancing on a log, Grant Mattos and Ralph are left to vie for immunity. Grant wins, inviting Boston Rob to sit next to him in the cafeteria and braid his hair join him for cake. He also shares his loot with Andrea in hopes of making her feel secure before her tribe turns against her and throws her under the bus.

Jeff Probst gives the remaining group a “mystery package” which is a twist that will be revealed at Tribal Council. I can’t help but wonder if Jeff didn’t just wrap up a brick to mess with these folks. Steve tries to get the Ometepe girls to join him and Ralph in their attempt to vote off Boston Rob. Ralph, through the magic of subtitles, believes he will be voted off. (I LOVE him. Being from the South, I sometimes wish I had someone translating for me a good bit of the time.) Smart cookie, that Ralph.

At Tribal Council, Ralph is voted off to no one’s surprise. However, the “mystery package” is opened and (HOLY TWIST!!) there will be an immediate immunity challenge followed by another vote, giving the crew no time to discuss alliances. This must have been the retirement home episode, because after the riveting game of shuffle board, this immunity challenge is basically a dumbed down “Simon Says” with camping images printed on tiles. Boston Rob wins immunity, and the lone Zapatera Steve goes to join Ralph on Redemption Island.

I highly doubt veteran Boston Rob will be going anywhere anytime soon. I mean, if so, who will be around to pull the strings of his tribe members? Not everyone can form a clique as easily as a 10th grade mean girl, so I have to give Rob major props. And in the event he is voted off soon? Fear not, folks…he’s covered.

After four seasons of Survivor and two seasons of Amazing Race (with wife and fellow Survivor winner Amber), Rob is teaming up with monster truck guru Dennis Anderson. People.com reports that the two “will challenge each other to circumnavigate the globe using 80 different methods of transportation with the caveat that each cannot repeat any way twice” in the History Channel’s new series, Around the World in 80 Ways. Rob cites his time on Amazing Race as fueling his love of travel. The appeal of this show, however, takes a unique approach. Rob reveals, “Around the World in 80 Ways is completely different from anything I’ve done before in that this show will be a celebration of transportation throughout history.” While Rob admits he will miss his wife and young daughters (and hopes that none of the modes of travel will cause claustrophobia), he is very excited to begin this new adventure. I wonder what kind of strings he’ll be pulling then…

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S SURVIVOR & THE RECAP? ARE ROB’S MINIONS THE WORST PLAYERS TO PLAY THE GAME?

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