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Survivor Recaps

Last night’s Survivor had it all…lost love (what will Ozzy do without Elyse?), drama (Mikayla or Edna?), pious musings (Coach and Brandon…take your pick), backstabbing (um, Albert?), a touching after-school special moment (Dawn and Cochran are finally invited to the party!), and of course, a rousing final speech (courtesy of Crazy Pants). It was epic. Oh, and there was a shuffleboard challenge.

Back at the beach, Ozzy is flabbergasted by his fellow Team Pretty members for voting against the alliance. He declares himself a free agent, and both Keith and Whitney think he’s being just a tad dramatic for taking Elyse’s elimination so personally. Dawn calls him out for not playing as honestly as he wants his teammates to play, and Ozzy is prompted to admit that he has found the immunity idol. To each his own is Ozzy’s new way of life with Savaii. The following the say, his tribe mates think he’ll come around, but the following day he’s still pouting. The Savaii tribe is in agreement that he’s being an annoying cry baby, and Dawn and Cochran are finally part of the in-crowd.

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Last night’s Survivor gave us a peek into a changing, slightly crazier Coach, who we are sure to see more of in upcoming episodes. The duel pitted friend against friend, and the immunity challenge was just a whole lot of gross, gagging nastiness.

Stacey joins her biffle Christine on Redemption Island. Stacey relays to Christine all the lying and drama that has been going on with the Upolu. She tells Christine that Coach is the ring-leader (and the pot stirrer), and that all the people in the blue tribe are heading to hell wearing gasoline drawers. If Stacey ever gets tired of being a mortician, she can take her one-liners on the road.

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Last night’s Survivor was very cut-throat. As usual, Brandon does a lot of repenting, Dawn does a little ass kicking to win immunity for her tribe, and Cochran and Marijuana Jim devise a plan to disrupt Team Pretty. I am loving Savaii this season. Is it just me, or is the Upolu just a bunch of Shady McShadersons?

The episode begins with Ozzy and Elyse getting cozy on a hammock. Marijuana Jim is getting jealous nervous that their bond may be tighter than his is with Ozzy. He’s worried Ozzy is morphing into Rob Mariano. MJ quickly realizes that Elyse has to go before they become a power couple. Has someone been smoking dope watching Bachelor Pad? Marijuana Jim finds a quick ally in Cochran, as it buys him more time to prove himself.

Over at Upolu, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is apologizing to Mikayla for gravitating towards untruth. He next approaches Edna to repent for his lying and to casually mention that Edna is not a member of the main alliance like she thought she was. I couldn’t tell if it was a strategic move on Brandon’s part or inadvertent slip-up. You never can tell with that sneaky BHCP.

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Last night the ninety minute premiere of Survivor: South Pacific aired on CBS. Two former Survivor staples and two-time previous game players Ozzy Lusth and Coach Wade are back to square off with the newbie castaways on an episode aptly titled “I Need Redemption.”

Right off the bat, we meet John “Cochran” Cochran who has watched every season of the show, and even wrote a prize winning paper on it while in law school at Harvard. Native American Elyse isn’t much into the outdoors, but she’s hoping her heritage will work to her advantage, and then there’s Rick a rancher from the Midwest. Stacey is a funeral director and mortician who promises to be nosy and while pretending to play nice. Russell Hantz’s (a former Survivor with multiple games under his belt) nephew Brandon likens himself to Hitler’s nephew and vows to change the perception of his family’s name. Maybe not the most accurate of comparisons, but he doesn’t want his fellow castaways to know that he shares the blood of a Survivor competitor who wouldn’t have won any popularity contests.

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