Well, we're back for another classy installment ofLove & Hip Hop which begins with Amina Buddafly bragging to Rich Dollaz about her marriage to Peter Gunz. She is a horrible actress as she tries to act like she's sick of being considered his side-chick. Peter can't believe she's spilling their secret. After all, he told her that no one could ever know about their little wedding. Mona, I'm insulted. This is what passes for "reality" these days? This is about as real as my relationship with Ryan Gosling.
K. Michelle and her friend Paris are meeting Yandy Smith for gossip and cocktails. They discuss the dating scene in New York City, and K. Michelle reveals that she won't date another man with a hairless cat. Before I can get totally grossed out by K's weird sexual references, she explains that she once dated a guy who actually had a Grandma Whiskers. Yandy decides to plan a ladies' night out to welcome her friend to the Big Apple.
We're introduced to Nya who is a stripper turned rapper (sound familiar?), so of course Rich feels inclined to stop by the studio to check out her sound. Nya isn't keen on having a manager who is known for sleeping with his artists. She's already got enough to overcome with the whole stripper gig. Rich is insulted. Google him. He makes dreams come true. This is either the worst first meeting between "business people" or a prelude to a sexually charged manager-artist relationship. I've learned only one thing from this flipping franchise, and that is the studio time costs money. This entire exchange just seems like a big ol' waste of cash to me.
Don't lie. You've missed the crew from Love & Hip Hop. Yeah, I know. I couldn't type that with a straight face any more than you could read it with one. With the Basketball Wives reunion kaput, VH1 treated us to the season premiere of a more yawn-inducing version of the feisty L&HH: ATL. While I'll try to reserve my judgment, I don't think that K. Michelle can save this sinking ship any more than the newbies. It's not that I don't like Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris, but they are almost too likeable. I didn't believe Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena's relationship was anything more than camera candy, so I never invested much thought in them, and don't even get me started on the dysfunction that is Tahiry Jose and Joe Budden. So, about that reservation of judgment promise…I'm not doing so well, eh?
With the Medicine Man still incarcerated, Yandy has continued to take Little Mendeecees during his dad's custodial times. Both she and Mendecees have decided to tell the boy that his father is serving time…in the army. I don't even have the chance to type how adorable this child is before Mona Scott Young goes and throws a curveball…she is totally exploiting Little Mendecees by having him share a secret with his soon-to-be stepmom. He reveals that he has known his dad was in jail for months.
I'll be honest, I didn't think there was any need for another hour of reunion footage for Love & Hip Hop after watching the first half last week. However, Mona Scott-Young proved me wrong (it's not the first time either!). Consequence and Professor Joe Budden reveal a hidden feud that causes Cons to totally sucker punch Joe. It's ridiculousness at it's finest. Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena continue to show the world just how dysfunctional their relationship is/was, and Yandy Smith opens up about Mendeecees Harris' arrest.
The evening begins with Mona introducing the cast, and Joe, Tahiry Jose, Yandy, Erica, and Rich are joining her on stage. Mona shows a clip of the ladies' dressed in their bootilicious finest, and it's T&A all over the place. Rich and Joe take a fan video question which wonders if the naked pictures of them on the Internet are, um, accurate. Joe claims his phone was stolen at a strip club, and, while it's his body, the pic was photoshopped. Rich says that his photo is true to form from the waist up, but someone downplayed his man bits. A bitter Erica disagrees…she snips that it's a true depiction of Rich's business.
Mona highlights Jen Bayer and Consequence's struggle with religion. Jen still wants her one day of tradition, but Cons isn't willing to compromise. Rashidah Ali, who is also Muslim, feels for the couple's situation. Mona questions Jen about her comments to Raqi Thunda about being white, and before she can explain, Raqi starts mouthing off to Cons. Rashidah tells Raqi that she's a disgrace to Islam, and the two women go at it. Rashidah takes off her shoes, and the scrapping begins. Joe is filming it all on his camera. Once they are separated and scolded by Mona, Raqi exits to compose herself.
Dear Mona Scott-Young, You will never be Andy Cohen, and VH1 will never be Bravo. You don't need to draw out your reality show seasons with multiple reunions. One is sufficient. Heck, most of the time with Andy's ladies, one is enough. Sincerely, Lauren. P.S. Please give Andy some tricks on how to stay in control of the reunion. Kthanksbubye!
On last night's Love & Hip Hop reunion, Mona introduces the ladies, and it's actually the only time they have all been in the same place at the same time. Poor Winter didn't make the stage, but she barely made any scenes either, so I'd say she's lucky to be on the front row with Professor Budden, Olivia Longott, Rich Dollaz, and Consequence. Mona can't wait to play Joe's favorite game of Truth or Truth after reminding us about the serious topics the show tackled like screaming, throwing drinks, being hos, and ripping out weave drug addiction, jail time, race, and religion.
We're treated to quite the violent montage, and then Mona asks Rashidah Ali why she called Mendeecees Harris a clown. Mona is clearly sticking up for her protege Yandy Smith, and Rashidah starts going off on how she used to sleep with Mendeecees, and he used to talk about Yandy behind her back. The always classy Yandy requests that Rashidah keep Mendeecees out of her accusations since he isn't around to defend himself. Rashidah agrees to stick with facts…Mendeecees has the smallest penis she's ever seen. Yandy doesn't justify her comments. Instead, Yandy blames Winter for going back and stirring the pot with Rashidah.
I wish I could reach through your computer screen and pass you a tissue, because I know y'all are super upset that this season of Love & Hip Hop has drawn to a close. Not surprisingly, the finale was all about two couples, with everyone else just showing up for a few quick minutes. Perhaps VH1 should remember that less is more when it comes to casting…we can't get involved with eighteen different story lines!
Of course, last night starts off with everyone's favorite (hahaha!) plot. Joe Budden has returned to New York, and he feels that his relationship with Tahiry Jose is unresolved. Once home, Kaylin reveals that she's been nervous to hear about her boyfriend's vacay with his ex. Joe shares that his feelings for Tahiry are beyond his control, and Kaylin wants to call it quits on her relationship with Joe…except that she doesn't have anywhere else to go. When she asks their status as a couple, I think (I had to rewind three times) Joe said "Let us pray," but I can't be sure.
Also back in NYC is Tahiry, and she's meeting up with Rashidah Ali to rehash her stories from the Dominican Republic. Forget about Tahiry's charity work or reconciliation with her father, Tahiry only wants to chat about Joe. Rashidah is floored to learn that her friend may still be in love with Joe, and she's concerned that the two are moving in the wrong direction. During the next commercial break Subway treats us to Tahiry waxing poetic about her charity work in the DR. So, her conversation didn't make the actual show, but I guess this is better than nothing!
How quickly all good things come to an end! I had no clue that we are just one episode away from the season finale of Love & Hip Hop. Thank goodness. Basically, at this point, the show is only focusing on two tumultuous relationships and a potential prison term. Everyone else is just along for their five minutes of screen time every other week. You all know who I mena mean!
The episode begins with Raqi Thunda heading to Olivia Longott's performance in hopes of finding Tahiry Jose to apologize. She explains that Joe Budden wants her to mend fences, but after a half-baked apology, they are yelling at each other. Ahhh, maturity.
At home, Yandy Smith is snuggling with little Mendeecees and baby Amir while Mendeecees, Senior looks on happily. They share their engagement news with the little guy, and he's excited about having Yandy in the family. Sure, he's only seven, but VH1 made sure he was over the moon upon hearing the news. There is no doubt about it–Mendeecees produces some precious children.