The ladies of Real Housewives Of Orange Countyshould just become Sister Wives married to Brooks Ayers. Literally all they do is talk about him! Obsessed is putting it mildly. Unfortunately, Jesus is also being dragged into this. Save yourself Jesus, let “Saton” have the others.
According to Vicki Gunvalson, Satan (pronounced as “Saton”, which rhymes with Louis Vuitton) has infiltrated Coto and its surrounding enclaves (and Shannon Beador‘s anal cavity) to create confusion. Vicki say: Saton loves confusion! Saton say Real Housewives confused about being good friend. Yes, Saton is writing his own misfortune cookies now.
Let’s get this started! Briana is visiting, and since Brooks has been shipped off to a Motel 6 (or Jeana Keogh‘s abandoned storage shed), Briana, Ryan, and their sons are staying at Vicki’s. Home is where the heart is… unless Brooks is on the premises.
Will the ladies rally around Vicki Gunvalson and prove themselves true friends? Or will Tamra Judge continue to work her pot-stirring magic behind the scenes, while fronting as Vicki’s ally? What will Brooks Ayers reveal in his one-on-one with Andy Cohen? Will Meghan finally unclench her teeth from Brooks’ medical records? Will Heather Dubrow succeed in convincing Terry to finance her dream of wallpapering the master bathroom in solid gold and outfitting her bathtub with a champagne faucet? Will David’s AFFAIR be named? Has Shannon Beador secured enough vodka lemons to cleanse her marriage?
So many questions – let’s hope all will be answered. But for now we’ll have to content ourselves with cryptic tweets and photos from yesterday’s filming!
Of their shopping channel stint, Heather gushes, “Wow, 15 years in the making and here we are ready to launch what we feel is the best version of our skincare ever with new cutting edge technology! Welcome to CONSULT BEAUTE!” She adds that “Live TV is really fun. I enjoy thinking on my feet and talking directly into the camera. Filming for a shopping channel is crazy though because there are no commercial breaks! Some of our shows that weekend were three hours long! Terry had never done live TV and even though I was confident in him he seemed so nervous and I didn’t want him to have any regrets.”
On last night’s episode of “I’m Not A Doctor, But I Play One On TV,” Meghan King Edmonds continued to probe deep into Brooks Ayers. Summing up Real Housewives Of Orange County: Brooks may be lying about cancer, which makes it OK for Meghan to lie by impersonating a cancer patient and calling his doctors. Basically, the type of doctors these two need ain’t treating cancer, but psychosis!
Just to put this out there, since I’m NOT a doctor (nor do I pretend to be), I’ll reserve judgement on diagnosing Brooks. I’ll stick to what I am qualified to do: diagnosing the ladies of Real Housewives Of Orange County as crazy!
Brooks and Vicki Gunvalson finally visit a doctor. If you were expecting an oncologist – think again! Instead, accompanied by the bootleg copy of Yolanda “Lemons Cure” Foster earthing woman, they met with an eastern-meets-western physician to “rebuild” Brooks’s immune system.
Tamra is in the middle of heated custody battle with her ex-husband Simon Barney, and Gretchen is adding fuel to the fire by reminding Tamra that words can come back to haunt you! O-U-C-H.
Is Gretchen really in a position to comment on anyone’s negligent parenting? She says yes, because all those things we believed about Slade being a deadbeat dad were just rumors perpetuated by Tamra! Were they?
Back at Shannon’s Aries party, Tamra Judge is spitting mad that Vicki is allowing Brooks to call her a liar and a backstabber. The unladylike doth protests too much!
Tamra believes Vicki is so influenced by Brooks (and his lies) she may be turning into Brooks! Shannon is hard-pressed to believe that the never, ever dim-witted Vicki could be bamboozled by a con man, so possibly, just possibly, she knows Brooks is faking cancer but is going along with it. Even Tamra can’t believe that – or at least that’s what Tamra is telling the cameras because the only time Tamra has Vicki’s back is when she’s stabbing it!
Shannon on the current state of her relationship with Vicki Gunvalson: “We’re not speaking.” Does she think it’ll ever be the same? “No.” She’s still irked that Vicki denies asking for help, but she says she would’ve helped even if Vicki hadn’t.
Meghan King Edmonds has many things she would like to clear up and she’d also like to defend her title as World’s Coolest Stepmom (more like World’s Craziest Stepmom!) Reacting to last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County when Meghan confessed to what amounts to stalking Brooks Ayers – dang why are so many ladies obsessed with this man (#dickmatized!) – she insists she truly believed Brooks had cancer (she did?) and was just trying to help (by hunting down his exes?).
Because Meghan feels her actions were done with purity of heart, she doesn’t owe anyone an apology. Just how far is Pink Panther planning to take this quest for justice? #Knowledge