Before we get to the assery of Brooks (and later Terry) we must first confront the assery of David. Did you know – he had an affair! During the last reunion Shannon Beador pretended her marriage was amazing and wonderful and more perfect than ever. Except, haha – 3 weeks prior she had learned David was cheating, then he left her, then he came home with his dick tail between his legs, and then he whisked her away on a 17-day romantic vacation. So she wasn’t lying! Sadly when the cameras started rolling again, “reality” set-in.
Really – honestly – I don’t care what’s happening with Shannon, her vagina, her affair, her husband, her colon, her rectum, because her voice is sounding more like my 90-year-old great aunt’s by the day and that’s scary.
Having lost her fiance, Jeff Beitzel, to leukemia in 2008, Gretchen says she is “appalled and disgusted that anyone would lie or makeup false documents about a very serious disease that millions are fighting against for their lives everyday.”
The three co-stars spoke with E! and gave their thoughts on the situation now that this new info has come to light.
“I pray for him. I would want to tell him that I hope he finds the truth somewhere in his life. The truth will set you free. It’s a very sad and disgusting situation. I never believed I would be surrounded by such lies but hopefully now we can focus on the truth.”
The Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion has left a bad taste in my mouth. Right after I wrote this I ate like 16 pieces of Halloween candy. It’s my version of cleansing.
The highlight from Part 3, if you could call it that, was Vicki Gunvalson finally admitting she doesn’t believe Brooks Ayers has cancer. She “covered” for him all season because she did believe him until very recently. The other highlight was that no one screamed in decibels so shrill Andy’s dog howled backstage. Briana describes Vicki’s uncannily calm demeanor as being “in a state of shock” over how much of her life Vicki has messed up over Brooks. Or the five half a Xanax she took.
The low points: Everything else. Including Meghan King Edmonds‘ hair – why must it look like a Kim Z Generation 1 wig? The more I look at it, the more I see bad imitation senator’s wife.
During Tamra’s sex tape release party, Tamra, while was wearing a lace, see-thru catsuit while thrusting and gyrating with a strap-on. Vicki joked to Heather Dubrow, “She pretty much lost custody of one, she doesn’t want to lose two more,” Vicki’s comment referenced Tamra’s ex-husband Simon taking Tamra to court, in part, claiming her her lewd behavior on RHOC was detrimental to their children.
Upon hearing Vicki’s comment Heather was scandalized – so scandalized she waited months to reveal this to Tamra (on television, no less, cause they’re close like that!). Heather’s reason being Tamra was keeping her custody issues private. Until Tamra needed a convincing reason for her love of being Jesus real!
What a weird Real Housewives Of Orange Countyreunion; filled with a whole lot of nothing with a few juicy bits stuffed in between, hanging out here and there, kind of like the weird smooches of flesh hanging over the cut-outs of Tamra Judge‘s very complicated dress. Seriously – Forever XXII is for 21 year olds!
Overall this has been a very weird season of Real Housewives Of Orange County. It’s almost Old Testament in its Biblical ruthlessness of judgement and excoriating righting of wrongs. It’s an eye-for-an-eye, or in this case a Jesus Barbie for a Jesus Jugs.
Let’s just break down the important doo-dads before we get to Briana Culberson. Who Brooks is also threatening to sue!