Real Housewives Of Orange County is a world unlike any other. It is a world in which one hires a premiere cake creator to design a cake shaped like a bottle of champagne. Then one reserves a seat on a private jet to fly said cake to the launch of their said champagne. Then, come to find out, the cake is actually fake – as in not really a cake, but a Styrofoam mold that resembles a cake, and the champagne is not really champagne, but a bubbly wine. Why so much precaution over a fake cake? Styrofoam robustly withstands grubby, unskilled hands of kindergarten crafters like Meghan Edmonds, so certainly it doesn’t need a seatbelt on a private jet, or it’s own personal valet. That’s just one of the many things that ponders me from last night’s episode. There are many, many more…
Heather Dubrow is headed to Napa to launch her champagne, which is not actually champagne, because it is not produced in France, therefore it must be called “Methode Champenoise.” Basically it’s bubbly wine. And calling bubbly wine “methode champenoise” is like calling a car port a “porte-cochere.” You can put fondant on a Styrofoam mold, but it’s still Styrofoam mold! Heather – accept it: you made a designer wine cooler!
Tamra and Eddie hit up Mykonos first and then headed over to Santorini. They’ve had (sort bad) sushi, did some shopping and a whole lot of lounging around and relaxing, as well as still getting in their morning workouts. Tamra has been sharing daily pics on Instagram, including some AMAZING photos and videos of the views. And a whole lot of swimsuit pics, naturally. Take a look at their fun vacay below!
Denying rumors that her current story line for this season’s Real Housewives of Orange County, specifically the one about “finding spirituality,” is fake, Tamra Judge is speaking out about the farm fresh realness of her image.
After InTouch recently accused Tamra of creating bogus story lines to keep her persona on the reality show interesting, she laughed it off to RumorFix: “Ha! It’s not my ‘story line,’ I happen to get baptized at the end of the season,” says Tamra, “clearly came from someone that knows nothing about my story line.” (Does the fact that Tamra refers to her actual life as a “story line” not beg the question of its validity in itself!?)
In case you were feeling stressed out about the lack of available Real Housewives wines (and other sparkly alcoholic beverages), Heather Dubrow is launching her own champagne, not to be confused with Fabellini. Appropriately this champagne is named after Heather’s 5-year-old daughter Colette, who leads Heather to drink. Heather commissions a giant champagne bottle-shaped cake, that she is flying in its own seat on a private plane to Napa for the launch party of Colette Champagne. All of the ladies are invited. Lifestyles of the rich and guest role on canceled sitcom hopefully famous!
Literally fell asleep – snoooooze, snore, zzzzzzzzzz, yawn at the thought of another Housewives hawking wine storyline.
It is the season of Tamra Judge‘s redemption – after becoming a born-again Christian, she has found Jesus and it has saved her from a life of being a hater!
After losing all her friends and getting in fights with all her Real Housewives Of Orange County co-stars, Tamra recognized it was time to make a change. This season viewers will watch her get baptized. Facing criticisms that her new-found religion was nothing but a storyline to gain viewer sympathy, Tamra insists she has changed. And it’s definitely real.
“I knew the journey I was on,” Tamra describes of wanting to make things right from her past. Although Tamra admits she has long way to go – like figuring out how to attend church every Sunday – but she claims she’s had a total “mindset change” since being baptized. “I think in the past six months I’ve felt like a new person. I’m not saying like, I’m perfect and I’m not saying I’m at church every single Sunday. I try to go every Sunday, I’m joining a Bible study …”
As season 10 veteran on the Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki Gunvalson is well versed in the ups and downs of reality television. As a twice-divorced woman who’s had to pay both ex-husbands off post-marriage, she is also not adverse to fiercely protecting her assets when it comes to her new living arrangement with Brooks Ayers – even if it means getting a lawyer involved!
In her Bravo blog, Vicki explains the reasons behind, and terms of, her cohabitation agreement with Brooks. “I have been divorced twice, and both times I had to pay my husband’s off,” she explains, adding, “I never received child support with my first marriage, and with my 2nd marriage I had to pay Donn alimony. This way, I am protected if my relationship doesn’t work out with Brooks. We have a legal binding agreement that my divorce attorney drafted, and Brooks signed without any hesitation. This eliminates any miscommunication in a relationship once you put it all out there about what your expectations are, it’s one less thing to worry about. It’s a pre-nup without the ‘nup’.”
Looking to revise (but more likely reprise) her less than stellar image on this season’s Real Housewives of Orange County, resident backstabber Tamra Judge shares why she didn’t invite any of her castmates to son Ryan and daughter in law Sarah’s baby shower, how new girl Meghan Edmonds may have a bigger mouth than her, and why Vicki Gunvalson is already telling lies.
In her Bravo blog, Tamra begins by sharing her excitement about becoming a grandmother to 4-month old Ava, and step-grandma to Sarah’s previous three girls: “Yep it true…I am a Tam-Ma! I finally got the baby I wanted. Ava is now 4 months old and the cutest little girl I have ever seen. It seems like overnight I became a grandmother to four adorable girls. Sarah has three girls from another relationship, Ella 5, Brooklyn 12, and Emily 10. Ryan is up to eyeballs in girls now. My daughter Sophia is so very happy to be an aunt to girls practically her age.” Tamra also thanks her party planners for throwing hay everywhere to “transform” her gym into a virtual honky tonk, saying, “I can’t believe that behind all those bales of hay was our Fitness studio, CUT Fitness, the transformation was beautiful.”
Vicki Gunvalson is WOOHOOING to her hooha’s content and rolling in the affirmations! Brooks Ayers and his (apparently suspect?) cancer have moved in and Vicki is relishing in the fact that she can play the nagging, over-bearing, mother hen who also holds the bank account and the car insurance. “Brooks eat that carrot or you’re gonna get spanked!” Of course, Brooks is acting the part of the rebellious teen sneaking light ranch dressing and whining that he can’t have Wonderbread with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter like all the other boys.
“Cancer loves white bread!” Vicki lectures, making a little note to up Brooks’ insurance policy and give a rousing speech at the next insurance convention about the benefits of long-term care policies. Now she knows from experiences. WOO HOO! Vicki is having her affirmations for breakfast and selling them too.