Tamra Barney


If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection. 

So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing. 

Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.


Gretchen Christine Rossi at TAO Beach

Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.

That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.

The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing… 



You know, I have mad respect for how hard the ladies of the housewives' franchise work.  When they aren't filming drama-licious episodes, they are on a constant media tour, touting their products, and giving a whirlwind of interviews.  Of course, we all know that no housewife is on her game more than Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice, and you have to give her mad respect for that!

Speaking to Out In Jersey, Tre dishes on everything from her favorite dishes (what a segue!) to her family dramz.  Of her latest cookbook Fabulicious On The Grill, Teresa opines, "It's really refreshing right?! This book is all about eating clean, and exercising of course. You are what you eat, people need to get that by now," adding, "I've been exercising for the past two seasons and it's been great, they really go hand in hand. I cook the way you see in the book, simple and easy, and always with fresh ingredients. That's really what people need to understand, it doesn't have to be fancy. You can make a great meal with fresh and simple ingredients."

Teresa also reveals that she's always had a passion for cooking, and she hopes that her girls will share her love of all things culinary.  She says, "I'm first generation Italian, it's definitely what I love to do. The cooking, the cleaning, all of the traditional things like that, like the old days. I really think that the new generation loses that, and it's really important. Those are the things that were instilled in me, like keeping a good house and having old school values. I want my daughters to do these things for their families, which is what really inspired me to do the books. It's a memoir for my daughters to have for the future."



Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was pretty boring. And by boring I mean tragic. And deafening. Gretchen Rossi tried to sing but she forgot to bring the big, pink plastic handbag holding her autotune with her. Oh the results were more tragic than a Made in Sweatshop plasticine Gretchen Christine handbag. Also plastic her face and now her lips. We'll discuss in a minute…

Moving on to other adventures in RHOC things, are still a mess between Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks. And by a mess I mean Vicki's life and hair are sadly reflecting her inner life. Get a brush and comb things out. Seriously – get a smoothing serum too. And call Dr. V

So let's begin… Gretchen has returned from Whistler and her friendship with Tamra Barney is as frozen and icy as her face. Did I mention her hair doesn't move either but it permanently looks wind swept? How? Mystery of science if I've ever seen one. Let's call Myth Busters! 



Tamra Barney (the reality star now known as Tamra Judge) stopped by the clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live and while she was hanging out she cleared up the Malibu Country misunderstandings, talked about having babies with Eddie Judge and more. 

Andy started the show off rolling some of the tape from Gretchen Rossi's lunch with Alexis and asked Tamra if Gretchen has been overdoing the Botox because her face was so frozen.  Tamra added, "It was like no emotion at all and this used to be her best friend. I kinda felt bad for Alexis."

They dove right in to address the Malibu Country role (again!)  Tamra attempted to clear it up.  "I think the whole story wasn't told. I think that Gretchen did get a call for a part that was not the part that Heather got, clearly. And I think there were some Beverly Hills housewives, Alexis was called.  It was a role as an extra.  So what happened was as soon as Heather got a main role, that extra role was canceled.  But the thing is is that Gretchen kept up with "I got the role, I got the role" when there was no role to get. The role got shut down.  Heather shut it down. So then Gretchen lied about it and said she got it."



Oh the nonsense that is Real Housewives of Orange County just never ends. See Lauri Peterson insists Vicki Gunvalson is a kinky sex monster who frolics around like this is the eternal summer of love. Orgies, threesomes, affairs… oh my! 

While Lauri is adamant that Vicki got her menage a trois on, Vicki dismisses Lauri as "disgusting" and a liar. Well Lauri maintains that she is telling the truth! 

I absolutely did see this,” Lauri insists to RumorFix. “There wasn’t just one occasion, there were two occasions."



On a recent episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra Judge revealed a painful secret.  While going through her divorce to high school sweetheart Darren Vieth, she tried to overdose on pills and Nyquil.  Tamra's admission served to explain why she's so closed off and good at deflecting with her over-the-top antics.  After the episode aired, her ex (father of her oldest son Ryan) is coming forward with accusations of cheating and theatrics.  It looks like someone is ready to cash in their fifteen minutes!  To be honest, I'm actually surprised we haven't heard from this dude sooner.

Of course, Tamra isn't one to sit by silently when someone is spreading rumors about her, so she's fighting back the way all good Bravo housewives do.  That's right!  She's calling him out on Twitter.  I have a feeling that Darren is going to be no match for Tamra!

In an interview with Radar Online, Tamra's (first) ex-husband is speaking out over Tamra's accusations that he is partly to blame for what drove her to her first suicide attempt.  Just like Tamra, Darren has a sharp tongue and doesn't hold back, so I can see where the pair possibly butted heads during their young union.  He tells the site, “Tamra is a liar, a cheater and a bad mother to our son, Ryan, and she seemed to enjoy constant drama in her life because it lead to attention,” adding, “Tamra usually never tells the entire story, and this time is no different.”  Wait, what?  Tamra enjoys drama?



Awwww… poor widdle Gretchen Rossi. She sold out Alexis Bellino for one hot moment in the sun with the popular girls on Real Housewives of Orange County. And like any good mean girls they have turned on her and cut her like bad bangs!

So, Tamra Barney, who has been peddling the redemption storyline this season, was trying to convince us that she and Gretchen had really moved past seasons worth of hatred. But alas when the two got started with wedding wars, all hell broke loose!

The story goes that Gretchen and Slave Smiley were supposed to get engaged last season on TV and get a wedding spinoff/storyline. But Slave screwed up with all his child support woes and bad behavior that made fans detest him so Bravo conspired behind their backs and pawned the engagement storyline off on Tamra


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