So, that new girl, huh? Kelly Dodd has been making quite the splash since showing up on this season of Real Housewives of Orange County. Kelly immediately ruffled the feathers of the majority of the women by befriending and defending the exiled Vicki Gunvalson. Of course, I think we’ve all learned to steer clear of Shannon Beador’s bad side as well. Throw in Tamra Judge stirring the already drama-filled pot, and we’ve got a recipe for disaster that just keeps cooking week after week.
After the most recent shenanigans (I cringed watching, to be honest), Kelly is mortified by her behavior, “In case you are wondering, Jolie did not and will not ever watch last night’s episode. My believing that Shannon set me up and my response to Nina and Jaci’s ‘neutrocious’ (yes, I said that) lies will be revisited at the reunion, so Jolie probably will not be watching that either.”
Well hot damn was that an exciting episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County! Satan is confusing, and so too is Kelly Dodd. My head is still spinning from all the crazy, but I think it may be one of my favorite episodes ever. SO much happened that it was like watching Real Housewives as guest-directed by Quentin Tarantino.
One thing we have definitely learned in our many years observing Housewives in their native environments is that slightly unhinged women do not mix with tables and prostitution whores. Also “mother” and “not a prostitute” are mutually exclusive. No, Kelly didn’t flip a table, but she did flip an entire coven of Housewives and Housewives associates on their heads with expletive-laden, name calling the likes of which Heather Dubrow(who was ironically wearing leopard in a subtle homage to Real Housewives Of New Jersey, I imagine (intentional or ironic!?)) has never heard!
Yeah, I don’t care how much Kelly Dodd annoys the bejesus out of me (and probably Tamra Judge‘s sculpted patootie), Shannon Beador set her up at her 70’s partaaay. Which was not necessarily OK. And it was, well, ugly. Honestly, I think most of us, the Real Housewives Of Orange County ladies included, are gonna pretend Shannon is innocent on the principal of their dislike for Kelly, but the double-teaming of Jaci and Nina, three boobs, and a bull dozer, are all too coincidental.
And you know what they say: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck – it’s probably a Real Housewife training for a fitness competition and practicing in her lucite stripper heels!
Kelly is a hot wreck of insane annoyingness. Girl, you have got to dial that down to at least 11! She’s just … TOO MUCH. When Kelly drinks holy – can she not reign it in! Shannon was totally twatty to Kelly, but Kelly had a raging case of the Saturday night ferocious when she massively over-reacted to two gossipy bitches talking garbage and Shannon’s projecting. Or who knows – maybe Kelly does have something to hide? WHOOOO are you, Kelly Dodd? Do I really want to know?
So everyone is stranded at Kelly Dodd‘s house – which consists of 4 stories of bars and Bansky-esque decor, and is littered with bizarrely behaving bitches in the form of Real Housewives. It was like Alice In Wonderland meets the color white. Off with your head, but first: a spot of vodka for your very unfriendly chat.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was oddly medicinal. Is Bravo opening a medical trauma center? The last thing we need on this show are MORE health dramas. Leave people’s bodies alone, Bravo! I don’t want to see any journeys that involve doctors, unless of course one of these broads is married to a doctor and he’s doing wonky and weird and very money making doctoring.
That sounds gross and extremely serial killer, but just watch Botched and you’ll get the gist. When people weren’t ill last night, they were moving, or preparing to move, or crying over their spiritual wellness while holding a dumbbell. It was issues galore on RHOC!
So things begin with Vicki Guvnalson in OK to move Briana back to OC. They pile the car with Briana’s kids for a 19 hour drive, and leave Ryan to tie up all the loose ends of their windswept McMansion on the Prairie life there.
Surely I am not the only person wondering how in the world Heather Dubrow is friends with Tamra Judge, right? I mean, what do they really have in common other than Real Housewives Of Orange County? Heather is classy; Tamra is … not. Heather is rich; Tamra is … able to afford all of Ryan’s bills plus her own. You get the picture!
Anyway Heather’s guest on her podcast, Heather Dubrow’s World, was HGTV host Sabrina Soto, who also happens to be a huge fan of RHOC. She pointblank asked Heather, “Are you and Tamra really friends? I just don’t believe it!”
“Yes we really are,” insists Heather, (she shows Sabrina texts Tamra had just sent her). Apparently they hit it off the first day they filmed together and the rest is history.