So everyone is stranded at Kelly Dodd‘s house – which consists of 4 stories of bars and Bansky-esque decor, and is littered with bizarrely behaving bitches in the form of Real Housewives. It was like Alice In Wonderland meets the color white. Off with your head, but first: a spot of vodka for your very unfriendly chat.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was oddly medicinal. Is Bravo opening a medical trauma center? The last thing we need on this show are MORE health dramas. Leave people’s bodies alone, Bravo! I don’t want to see any journeys that involve doctors, unless of course one of these broads is married to a doctor and he’s doing wonky and weird and very money making doctoring.
That sounds gross and extremely serial killer, but just watch Botched and you’ll get the gist. When people weren’t ill last night, they were moving, or preparing to move, or crying over their spiritual wellness while holding a dumbbell. It was issues galore on RHOC!
So things begin with Vicki Guvnalson in OK to move Briana back to OC. They pile the car with Briana’s kids for a 19 hour drive, and leave Ryan to tie up all the loose ends of their windswept McMansion on the Prairie life there.
Surely I am not the only person wondering how in the world Heather Dubrow is friends with Tamra Judge, right? I mean, what do they really have in common other than Real Housewives Of Orange County? Heather is classy; Tamra is … not. Heather is rich; Tamra is … able to afford all of Ryan’s bills plus her own. You get the picture!
Anyway Heather’s guest on her podcast, Heather Dubrow’s World, was HGTV host Sabrina Soto, who also happens to be a huge fan of RHOC. She pointblank asked Heather, “Are you and Tamra really friends? I just don’t believe it!”
“Yes we really are,” insists Heather, (she shows Sabrina texts Tamra had just sent her). Apparently they hit it off the first day they filmed together and the rest is history.
The Vicki Gunvalson denial tour rages on! In a revealing interview Vicki doesn’t hold back in discussing her complicated relationships with her cast mates, rebounding from Brooks Ayers, and why she’s begging everyone to move on. Oh, she also wants a spinoff with friend/enemy Tamra Judge. Huh?
This season ofReal Housewives Of Orange County has Vicki avoiding drama – or trying to – and focusing on rebuilding. “I’m filling my tank back up!” This means a lot of whooping it up while re-evaluating her friendships.
“If I see conflict I really, kinda, wanna run now, but I’m strong enough to know I’ve gotta defend myself,” Vicki shares. “You’re not gonna see me screaming or going berserk. Hopefully I’m a little bit more tame this year.”
When Tamra Judge and Vicki Gunvalson are on the outs they’re really, really on the outs. With so many years of history behind them, these broads really know how to sling that mud! Vicki is actually so furious over Tamra badmouthing her, she hopes Bravo will take legal action. OK, uhhh… wait – what? Like you lied about cancer on TV, and like huh? I mean … anyway, I’ll just let you lovely people read-on!
Tamra has decided she’s had enough of Vicki for the rest of the season her life, and has been accusing her of betrayal – again. Tamra also wants Vicki fired from Real Housewives Of Orange County(which is a losing battle for sure).Since it’s a very thin line between love and hate (especially if you’re a Housewife!), Vicki and Tamra have been warring back and forth on twitter, and in the press, about who is worse. Hmmmm… despite the whole Brooks Ayers debacle I still say it’s a toss-up!
Last night someone on Real Housewives Of Orange County was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Of course that’s not surprising. At. All. But what is surprising is that Kelly Dodd claims it was her husband Michael, former COO of a massive company, who was the afflicted. Are we sure Kelly didn’t misread something? After all, she isVicki GunvlasonJr. – and we know how Vicki happens to misread medical documents!
Oh last night was a doozy. Everyone is on a yacht with Vicki fauxpologizing to Heather Dubrow about her presumed role in the Brooks assumed cancer scam. Obviously this conversation went on and on, but we got like 4 disjointed snippets of Vicktim pretending she has no idea why the women are angry with her after she admitted to seeing “red flags” but reacted by yelling, “Buy my cancer juice! Love my boyfriend! I Do! I DO! I DO! I DO! Oh wait – there’s no altar, but I do see a cross! I’m persecuted like Jesus! WOO HOO!”
Last night on Watch What Happens Live, Tamra Judge and Odd Mom Out’s Jill Kargman (love that show!) hung out with Andy Cohen in the clubhouse. They joked about Tamra’s dark spray tan against Jill’s bright white skin (Twilight meets Dynasty), Tamra dished on more Vicki Gunvalson drama, a caller tried to get a rise out of her, and so much more.
Andy plays the clip of Vicki sobbing in the limo on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Tamra says, “It’s heartbreaking. I don’t want to see anybody upset and hurting but you gotta do the right thing. She made zero effort with any of us. The last time I saw her was at the reunion show. She Tweeted saying she apologized to everybody, but she didn’t. So it was an awkward feeling at the boat because she didn’t make an effort, so we didn’t make an effort. When I was in front of her I was very nice to her but she really stayed away from everybody.”
I’m not a doctor, I just play one while I watch TV, so I really must psychoanalyze Vicki Gunvalson. After years of watching Real Housewives, I fully expect ‘The Crazies’ from these ladies (and yes, I am even waiting on Heather Dubrow to have her moment!), but in the case of Vicki there are obviously some deep roots connected to the Brooks Ayers mess.Unlike the other ladies, I am lucky to observe a respectful distance from Vicki’s crazies, which likely makes me a bit more compassionate.
If Vicki would just be honest – ha! – I think it would go a long way in regaining esteem among her castmates. If she would just be open about how she loved Brooks so much and so hard, that she couldn’t force herself to even consider the truth, and just admit that yes – at some point she did have red flags, but so desperately didn’t want to know so she put on blinders. I believe that then she would be able to begin healing with these women – and the audience.