Hey, remember a little Bravo experiment called Newlyweds: The First Year? Yeah, I barely do either, but it's been renewed by the network. The show chronicled four couples as they traversed the ups and downs of their first year of marriage. Of course, it's hard to forget the extremely loud, extremely bossy, and extremely spoiled Tina Sugandh and her husband Tarz Ludwigsen.
The couple tackled intimacy issues, fertility struggles, and pounds and pounds of make-up, rhinestone encrusted iPhone covers, and peacock costumes. Now, like any good Bravolebrity, Tina is trying to extend her and Tarz's fifteen minutes by crossing her fingers for a spin-off show.
Taking to her Bravo blog, Tina questions, "How dare I call cute little innocent babies "torture" you ask? I say that babies are torture because no one told me that I was going to become an emotional wreck after having my son. No, I’m not going through any sort of post-partum depression. I’ve always been super-sensitive and emotional as it is—and this little thing is so damn cute, that it has become downright torturous!" Tina is super-sensitive and emotional? I never would have guessed it!
Kim and Alaska are finally taking their much needed honeymoon, and while they arrived from opposite coasts, Kim is hoping that the trip is just what the couple needs to fix their emotional distance. While they take things into the bedroom, Blair and Jeff are taking it to the therapist's office…to talk about the bedroom. Blair reveals that they had a passionate sex life in the beginning, but now Jeff is just having a relationship with Palm-ela and her five sisters. Blair's feelings are hurt to hear that Jeff tries to hold off on masturbating for days at a time so he's up for sex. Jeff is fine with sex once a week. While he'd love extra affection, he doesn't like how Blair always manipulates those innocent moments into sex.
Kathryn has been in labor for thirteen hours, and her doctor decides she should have a C-section. After grueling time at the hospital, John is ecstatic to meet his son. Precious.
I'll be honest. I have been actively trying to connect with these couples to no avail. There was so much bickering and pettiness. However, last night's Newlyweds: The First Year actually made me feel for the couples (it's about time given that the finale is next week!). I celebrated their successes, and I was upset about their hardships. Tina Sugandh and Tarz Ludwigsen suffer through a traumatic event, and they grow closer thanks to Tina's dad's ridiculous new girlfriend. Blair Late is concerned about how active Jeff Pedersen's solo sex life is, while Kim and Alaska Gedeon actually get along. He's even quite charming! I know. I couldn't believe it either. Kathryn Bougadis and John Lagoudesimpatiently wait (and wait and wait and wait) for the birth of their son.
After being excited about her cycle being late, a teary Tina reveals to her mother-in-law that she suffered a miscarriage. It's heartbreaking to hear her say she's not fit to carry a child. Tarz's mom reminds Tina to look at this as an isolated incident. She doesn't want her daughter-in-law to jump to conclusions with no medical information to back up her worries.
Tina is upset because things seem to be changing between her and Tarz. He's too into work, and she feels totally unwanted. Tina feels stupid airing her issues, and she hates that Tarz doesn't seem to find her as attractive as he used to before they were married. He wants to scale back, but his inner workaholic isn't letting him.
John is hoping to show Kathryn that he is capable of manual labor by painting the nursery. She was raised by a handy father, while he grew up thinking that a true sign of success was the ability to hire people to do those things for you. Thankfully, before he can paint too much, there is a tanning salon emergency because the beds won't work. As Kathryn tries to fix the problem, John keeps shushing her. He's very dismissive of her part in the business. If I were Kathryn, John would have a paintbrush where the sun doesn't shine.
Back from Savannah, Blair is upset that Jeff isn't making sex a priority. It's been two weeks, and Blair is going nuts. Jeff is quite content just cooking together and watching home improvement shows. All of Blair's pressure is making sex seem like an obligation.
Jeff and Blair head to historic Savannah, Georgia for their ceremony, and the couple is hosting a red, white, and blue party. For patriotic Blair, the Fourth of July is almost as exciting as Christmas. Friends toast the happy couple, and uptight Jeff is trying to enjoy the evening while having a touching talk with Blair's mom.
Tina and Tarz head to the gynecologist to talk about fertility. Tina is disappointed that her doctor seems so young, and she is perplexed that the gynecologist isn't buying into her theories about how to up her chances for having a girl. The doctor is extremely intense, but I can't tell if she's joking when she tells Tina she's on the verge of being very old. She instructs the couple of the three times they should have sex each month. Only three? Tarz is disappointed.
Tina is extremely dramatic regarding her biological clock, jokingly threatening suicide if she can't get pregnant and accusing Tarz of having lazy sperm. It's a bit much, and by "a bit," I clearly mean it's ridiculous. However, I do feel badly when she gets a negative result on her pregnancy test because she is visibly upset. Meanwhile, four weeks into their marriage, Kathryn is freaking out over a positive test. She's teary, and John is over the moon. He can't wait to tell everyone they know.