So where do we begin with this mess of a show that is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It was just a blur of white noise. Splits Richards decided there hadn't been enough drama as of late so she decided to host her annual White Party. I mean screw P Diddy and Cannes, this is THE event of the season. Bust out your white swim suit cover-ups, get ready to twirl your hair round your head like a helicopter (one of these days Kyle is going to take off!), and then go threaten to sue your friends! Open bar on the left.
In other happenings,Kim Richards got a nose job. I mean, what else has she got to do? Kim's nose job – not big news in the real BH, I imagine, but in the RHOBH it's cause for celebration. And why not? Kim has never entertained anyone not even us on this show so perhaps it's time for her to do some party hosting. Isn't that what these broads do with their spare time when they're not hiring lawyers because their girlfriends talk shit about them?
So anyway, Kim's having a re-done nose party (I hope she got a ton of cards that said: 'Congratulations on your re-done nose!'). She has this sweet little coffee bar set up and she's rocking a Mrs. Roper mumu as she swans around the pool. It was all very seventies. I've noticed a lot of what Splits and Kim do is circa seventies (hello… THE White Party, y'all!).
Speaking of Splits, she shows up towing along two adorable little girls and one orangey blob in a scarecrow wig. Yeah, Faye Resnick was there, but by the blessed gods of Bravo she barely spoke and stayed mainly off camera. Perhaps they wanted to keep the party focused on decent plastic surgery.
Now TMZ is reporting that former Extra hostess Dayna Devon is in talks to sign up for season 4! Dayna is married to famed Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Brent Moelleken and is a mother of two. Above is a photo of Dayna with her husband and daughter.
After Lisa recently shared, “She’s not a friend of mine and I wouldn’t [have] invited her,” Faye wants to extend her extra long fifteen minutesset the record straight. Speaking to Wetpaint, she whines, “I was asked exactly the same way the rest of the cast was to Lisa’s tea. Lisa knew I was coming, which is why there was a place setting for me and for Kim [Richards]. She acted like I ran in and stole Kim’s seat. That’s not true at all.”
And this season, Taylor is taking a decidedly different stance! Hoping to earn brownie points with Lisa, perhaps? Trying desperately to gain some fan support? Absolutely! Taylor is as fairweather a person as you're ever gonna find. I mean how did she suddenly become Brandi Glanville's biggest fan?
In her Bravo blog, Taylor accuses Adrienne of lying about agreeing to be daughter Kennedy's godmother. Isn't it ironic that Taylor is getting tired of someone's lies. I can totally relate…
Taylor appeared on Watch What Happens Live last night where she got down and dirty – and the little wino that is did not hold back.
“Adrienne’s a liar, and I’m tired of the lies,” Taylor informed Andy Cohen. “I would like for her to admit that there’s either a letter or there’s not. I'm tired of having to live with an elephant in the room when we're all trying to have a good time." From one liar to another, a little piece of advice…
"I think there's a physical letter," Taylor slurred. "I think it’s either true, or not, and Brandi [Glanville] has the letter!” Interesting how quickly things can change.
Well if ever there was a reason to recklessly abandon tea and convert to coffee, last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was it! Does tea just bring out the worst behavior in everyone – or is that wine? Or is it actually just that 3/4 of the people on this show are hideous specimens of humanity?
So Lisa Vanderpump tried to make amends last night. She took all her fancy British etiquette and tried to apply it to unscrupulous famewhores. Logic fail! She began with Splits Richards, whom Lisa had always believed to be a fun person, a friend, but underneath all Kyle's layers of caftans and hair lie a woman possessed. Possessed with the desire to be important and relevant – and most importantly famous. Enter Reality TV.
Then Lisa tried with Adrienne Maloof who was let out of the cryogenic freezer before her face fully thawed to socialize with the ladies. Adrienne's equally unappealing friend (and Kyle's Doppelganger) Faye Resnick was also hauled out for the unappetizing occasion. More on that thoughtless and repulsive decision later.
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Last night while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I came to an important realization. I now understand why these women never eat and how they manage to stay so thin. If every time you sat down at a dinner table a massive fight broke out wouldn't you have dinner-induced trauma and be reduced to guzzling wine instead? They probably all go home and stuff microwaved popcorn in their faces while standing over the kitchen sink and ruminating about the days before they sold their souls to Bravo. But hey – at least those size 2s fit!
Yesterday's episode was more of the same. Same arguments, same players, same storyline, same snarky recapper wanting to hurl things at the screen. It started out OK, as it always seems to, but then quickly degenerated into the congealed, fetid remains of last night's dinner. Even Yolanda Foster was reduced to drinking tequila.
Most of the girls were in Vegas watching in awe as Brandi Glanville's legs twined around a stripper pole and slid gracefully to the floor. "Welcome to Night School For Girls!" she announced popping up with 3/4 of her boob also popping out. Splits Richards makes an important mental note to have Mauricio hypnotized into thinking Brandi is a revolting, wretched, shit-stirring drama queen again. He must not fall under her spell!