Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills there was an intervention, the reveal of Ken Todd's secret life, and one incredibly boring trip to Paris which consisted of standing on a balcony in bad cocktail dresses speculating over whether or not Kim Richards was jet-lagged or relapsing.
Things begin at Kyle Richards' house where we are treated to the full scope of her sitting room. I certainly hope she isn't paying Faye Resnick for her design services because tacked onto the white walls are dead turtle shells. In other accents Kyle had American flag pillows strewn around her sectional. #Refund. Anyway, Kim loves this room. She just loves this room. Apparently in her house there is no place to sit down. She should hire Faye. Or you know, buy a couch! Craigslist, baby.
Segue: can you imagine how awesome the BH Craigslist offerings must be?
Anyway, one thing Kim isn't happy about, besides her lack of seating space, is Taylor Armstrong's behavior. After Taylor got drunk and took off with a married man whose private jet she's in love with and ditched her daughter with the nanny and Kyle, Kim is convinced Taylor has a little problem with the old Chardonnay. Something about Taylor slurring 'Keeedeeeee's with youse, Kow. I thought eye left er at ome with the burlr larm?' tipped her off to the problem.
Is it just me or should Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Kyle Richards just give up on her Diddylicious white party? She should just hang it up and call it a day. It had a good run. Whether her husband is getting hit on or her biffle Taylor Armstrong is left in tears (or turned away at the door thanks to her sue-happy husband), the party is merely a venue to hash out drama while extras dance by the pool.
Of course, this season's party was no different, except Taylor got to finally be out of the insanity (relatively speaking…she's still bat shiz crazy). This go-round the drama involved the law suit rumors and surrogacy secrets between Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville. In Adrienne's corner was now ex-husband Paul Nassif while Brandi had best friend Jennifer Giminez with her for support. While the participants managed to keep the yelling, name-calling, and accusations to a minimum (for this crew at least), I can't help but wonder if there was anything we didn't get to see…
Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls is slated to begin filming as early as April, but the cast is still completely up in the air with contracts not extended. Brandi Glanville co-signed no one has been officially confirmed (I think it's safe to say Brandi is a shoe-in).
“The only cast members guaranteed to come back for the fourth season of the smash hit reality franchise are Brandi andLisa Vanderpump," their source reveals. "The other ladies, including, Kim and Kyle Richards, and Yolanda Foster are also on the chopping block."
I think Yolanda, who has been a success with fans and is definitely representative of the lifestyle, will return. And although she annoys the living daylights out of me, I cannot imagine Kyle leaving the show!
I'm sure you all remember Bobby Trendy as Anna Nicole Smith's friend and interior decorator. Bobby reached out to us to share a story about another friend of his who has allegedly done him wrong! Hey – everyone's favorite grifter strikes again!
Bobby accuses the Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls star of borrowing several dresses from him – designed for charity, I might add – and then failing to return them OR pay him for them!
Brandi told the radio host that on her first season as a 'Friend of the Housewives' she earned a paltry $18k. That's barely enough to cover spray tans and manicures!
Lucky for her, Brandi says since all the other ladies hated her and wanted her off the show, Bravo hired her full-time! "They just didn't want me there!" Brandi admitted. "They were like, 'Oh, she doesn't fit in. She's out.' " Now as a full-time cast member Brandi says she earns on the low-end of the totem pole raking in $136,000.
So where do we begin with this mess of a show that is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It was just a blur of white noise. Splits Richards decided there hadn't been enough drama as of late so she decided to host her annual White Party. I mean screw P Diddy and Cannes, this is THE event of the season. Bust out your white swim suit cover-ups, get ready to twirl your hair round your head like a helicopter (one of these days Kyle is going to take off!), and then go threaten to sue your friends! Open bar on the left.
In other happenings,Kim Richards got a nose job. I mean, what else has she got to do? Kim's nose job – not big news in the real BH, I imagine, but in the RHOBH it's cause for celebration. And why not? Kim has never entertained anyone not even us on this show so perhaps it's time for her to do some party hosting. Isn't that what these broads do with their spare time when they're not hiring lawyers because their girlfriends talk shit about them?
So anyway, Kim's having a re-done nose party (I hope she got a ton of cards that said: 'Congratulations on your re-done nose!'). She has this sweet little coffee bar set up and she's rocking a Mrs. Roper mumu as she swans around the pool. It was all very seventies. I've noticed a lot of what Splits and Kim do is circa seventies (hello… THE White Party, y'all!).
Speaking of Splits, she shows up towing along two adorable little girls and one orangey blob in a scarecrow wig. Yeah, Faye Resnick was there, but by the blessed gods of Bravo she barely spoke and stayed mainly off camera. Perhaps they wanted to keep the party focused on decent plastic surgery.