Jenelle Evans is still pregnant. But lucky girl was blessed by the court gods who don’t want to deal with her because her latest charges have been dropped. Barb brings Jace over, where he knocks over a plastic slide and nearly maims his cousin while Babs freaks out. Jenelle sits there and stares at the ground. Barbara worries about Nathan Griffith leaving Jenelle alone for 30 days – what if she gets on some ‘pregnant and single’ app! – while he goes to jail for his DUI. Barb is anxious that without Nathan, Jenelle will have to get herself to school alone. Jenelle is how old? Oh right – mentally she’s 12. And that’s generous.
However, Barbara is also worried because Nathan is violent. To be accurate, Nathan is Dr. Fakeyl and My. Lyes and he could snap at any moment – especially when his friend Mr. Alcohol joins the party! Jenelle claims they’re getting along better because they talk now. Oh that’s nice – I’m sure they have plenty of insightful things to say. Either that or the Dr. Phil Home Therapy app they downloaded and bought cliff notes for told them to just talk til they’ve got laryngitis. Hooked on Phonics Psychology, y’all!
Last night was the second part of the Teen Mom 2reunion and MTV obviously wanted to save the best – best drama, that is – for last! Chelsea Houska and Jenelle Evans were on the hotseat. While Chelsea was applauded for turning her life around and finally getting over Adam Lind (we hope!), Jenelle continued to try and make us believe she had changed too. Yeah, we don't believe you. Actions speak louder than words. And so do boyfriend choices.
Dr. Drew tackles Chelsea first. Chelsea seems really uneasy and upset about something – probably being in close proximity with Adam. Or maybe her eyelashes were puncturing her brain they were so long and spiky. Isn't she a professional?
Dr. Drew talks about her current situation with Adam. Chelsea regrets that he is not the best dad he can be for Aubree. She has no relationship with Taylor because Adam was cheating on Taylor with Chelsea. And by cheating, she means booty calls! CHELSEA! Chelsea says it was "months" ago – but it was while Taylor was pregnant!
It's Dr. Drewtime… I hope you stretched your eyeballs because they're about to be doing a lot of rolling. And if you're wearing false eyelashes because you want to look just like your favorite Teen Mom 2 star, I suggest you take them off for fear of injury during this reunion.
The set this year is really something – don't you love the giant TM2 letters with glittering lights. Things begin with all four girls on stage. Jenelle Evans has been taking hair tips from Chelsea Houska (but Megan is her terrible hairsome clone!) - same color red, same teased style, other than that she looks very pretty and natural. Dr. Drew asks Jenelle how Jace is. She answers, "Ummmm… who? Oh yeah… ummm… oh he hasn't been paying rent so yeah!"
Chelsea's eyelashes are a travesty. Mind you, this is her profession… Lord help South Dakota.
Last night was the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Aaaahhh… Jenelle Evans oh my, my, my. Man every single season this girl does something to make me think less of her. I mean just when I think she can't top getting arrested for heroin after marrying someone she barely knows, she goes and makes a baby with another lunatic she barely knows not 3 months after having an abortion.
For all of that, I felt a little bad for Jenelle last night – if only because it became more than abundantly clear that she is not right. Nathan Griffithis a sociopath. Something is seriously wrong with him. We will be seeing him as the subject of a Dateline NBC mystery where he has done something truly heinous.
And also, this recap is sponsored (kidding, not really) by the maternity lingerie photo of Kailyn Lowry and topless Javi Marroquin that is framed above their bed. At least Snuffy was smiling and that may be the only smiling photo of her I've ever seen!
Last night on Teen Mom 2 MTV let us down massively with only grainy footage of Nathan Griffith's DUI. Nathan (and Jenelle Evans) claim that since he refused a breathalyzer Nathan wasn't actually drunk, or something.
Before we get into all of that, Chelsea Houska is trying to be more mature with Adam Lind. Chelsea has come a long way, and the only strides Adam has made is ditching that recedehawk, because he's still a COMPLETE jerk! At Aubree's pre-school pageant he drags new baby Paislee along and is snappish to Chelsea while they do crafts with Aubree.
Later in the car with Taylor (new baby mama with double-ee named spawn of Adam) he complains that Chelsea isn't going to get be in control of his relationship with Aubree much longer. Um… really, Dumee? Is this before or after you get in a felony car crash or ditch your daughter at your parents because you don't get your way.
On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2relationships changed, promises were made and marriages may have broken.
Jenelle Evans is on the pregnancy wagon again. After 16 seconds of dating, 14 seconds of them spent trying to get pregnant, she has finally conceived the spawn of Nathan Griffith: Instagram underwear model, timeshare hawker, and DUI accomplisher and now BIBLE reader. Nathan is dressed like Ned Flanders and staring listlessly at the Bible when Jenelle shoves a positive pregnancy test in his face. He labors over the screen for some time trying to figure out what it says before it dawns on him – he's gonna be a daddy. Again.
"Are you happy?" Jenelle monotones, expressionless. Nathan is overjoyed – he just has to get through the next nine months and 18 years of paychecks are his! He picks Jenelle up (barely) and spins her around, dollar signs flash in his eyes. To celebrate he dyes his hair platinum blonde.
Last night onTeen Mom 2, some girls celebrated happily wedded bliss (again) and other girls headed towards happily unwedded unbliss (again) and some girls cried all the way home from jail (again).
Let's start and end with a positive! To start, Chelsea Houska finally accomplished something other than dumpingAdam Lind. Which speaking of positives: he was NOT presents on last night's episode. Go, MTV! Anyway, Chelsea graduated with her 600 hour aesthetics certificate and is on her way to getting her very first job. "I know I had Aubree young, but I've still accomplished what I wanted," Chelsea says. Good for her.
On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2, relationships were put to the test and bacon caused a marital breakdown.
Leah Calvert has made nagging and whining a full-time job. Usually I like Leah – aside from that mop of crazy she insists is hair (we don't believe you, member of the Dolly Pardon Wig Club!) – but last night she was working my last nerve. Look girl from WV, you can't have you pepperoni roll and eat it too!
Five minutes after the twins go to Corey Simms' for his weekend, Jeremy surprises Leah by letting her know he's headed to PA to work for a couple weeks. Leah is not happy. She tells Corey his job makes her feel like a single mother and that while he's gone she gets really overwhelmed. She's also frustrated that he doesn't validate her feelings by listening to an extended whiny-fest about how haaaaard lyyyyyyfe eees when he's gone. She thinks they should go to counseling to strengthen their marriage, but Jeremy is against it. He ain't payin' nobody his hard-earned money to tell him what's wrong with him.