It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from our good friend Farrah Abraham. But there have been two rumors about her circulating recently and we felt the need to update you, her fans. HA. I’m just kidding. Farrah’s only fan is Farrah. Um, and maybe Teen Mom 2 stalker Adam Lind, which brings me to the first rumor. Brace yourselves. It’s a doozy.
Rumor #1 – Adam wants to break into the porn industry, and he thinks the easiest way to shoot to super-porn-stardom is to make a tape with Farrah, the backdoor to endless possibilities.
“Adam is eager to get into the porn world and thinks that Farrah would make the perfect partner,” claimed a totally reliable source. #sarcasm “Adam loves what Farrah has done with her Teen Mom career. He thinks they could really rake in a lot of money since they’re both celebrities.” HAHAHAHA <celebrities> HAHAHA <can’t breathe> HAHAHAHA
Apparently cheating was as popular as Lunchables and Cheetos in the Calvert Household! In fact, we could just say they’re all a bunch of Cheat-Os, because now comes news that Jeremy Calvert was cheating on Leah Calvert too! Oops.
Jeremy and Leah are back and forth on whether or not to end their marriage of two years after Leah got roped up in a cheating scandal (and drug issues) with ex-boyfriend Robbie Kidd! However sources say Leah has actually been doing Jeremy a real favor by not revealing that he too had an affair and was recently caught texting the mistress!
Sources assert that the Teen Mom 2 star recently discovered Jeremy sending texts to a woman named Brittany Musick, whom he was cheating with, and that prompted Leah to contact Brittany on twitter!
They’re on, they’re off – they’re like Hot Cheetos – they burn your mouth and are a zillion calories but you just can’t quit the little suckers! Leah Calvertand Jeremy Calvert are on and off again, like a light switch! But Leah has found one man who will stay consistent in her life: Jesus! Can I get an Amen?!
According to sources, with her latest marital and drug troubles Leah is asking: “What Would Jesus Do?” Leah has been going to church lately to get in touch with her faith. I guess now that she’s done with Teen Mom 2, the girl’s gotta do something!
Leah apparently blames herself (finally!) for driving Jeremy to leave her, so she’s looking to the Lord for guidance. “She’s started going to a church that embraces forgiveness and recovery,” a source reveals. “She’s determined to make a complete turnaround.”
Not so shocking news: Teen Mom 2 hellion Adam Lind was arrested Sunday. Slightly shocking news: Adam’s 138th arrest – just a guesstimate – wasn’t for a traffic violation. Adam was jailed on domestic stalking charges this time.
However Adam and his most recent ex-girlfriend, Brooke Beaton, don’t agree on the details surrounding the arrest. Adam said Brooke is a drug-addicted slut who went CRAZY, slashed his truck tires, and told the police LIES about him because he broke up with her. Can you blame Brooke for lashing out? I mean, losing your one chance at true love with Adam Lind? The struggle is real!
Brooke said Adam is an abuser who stalked her and her family on Facebook and physically attacked her more than once. Considering Adam was arrested, I’m going to guess South Dakota’s finest have reason to believe Brooke.
Lawdy-lawd! The hills of WV are alive with the drama of Leah Messer Simms Calvert Messer and her soon-to-be-second-ex-husband-Jeremy Calvert! Leah announced that she is saying goodbye to MTV – and hinted she’s also saying goodbye to that husband of hers!
I imagine Leah Calvert and Jeremy Calvert‘s decision to work on their marriage went a little like this: they touched hands while both reaching into the Cheeto bag at the same time. There were sparks – and Hot Cheetos were made. Then the Teen Mom 2 star dumped the bag out on the coffee table and instead of reading tea leaves to predict her future, she read Cheeto dust. It said Jerrrrr-meeee and Leah – FOR-EV-ER.
Then Leah realized she could highlight her hair using the neon orange Cheeto crumbles, and do a vow renewal at the Mingo County Community Center (real place y’all) or in Nitro, WV (real place, y’all!) and honeymoon at the Boones Farm Dispensary. Or you know, maybe she and Jeremy just started following each other on twitter again and changed their Facebook statuses from “Divorced” to “It’s Complicated” Both are equally insane ways to deal with a marital problems, amirate?!
Leah‘s been accused of abusing opiates and cheating on Jeremy Calvert with Robbie Kidd. It’s messy, and I’m not sure which addiction is worse: the one to narcotics or the one to Robbie’s pe, um, personality.
Typical Leah, she’s pretending all is well one minute and crying victim the next minute. An “inside source” told Life & Style that Leah feels like a “prisoner in her own home” since she lives in a modular home on the Calvert‘s property.
This, just one week after Jeremy took to Twitter to accuse Leah of cheating on him with Robbie Kidd, announce he was filing for divorce and seeking custody of Baby Cheetos, and throw her decision to waste away his ability to financially support her (unlike her loser boy toy) in her orange face. “LMFAO,” he wrote. “You sure made a good choice. He can’t buy you a Big Mac.”