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Teen Mom 2

Before I finish writing one story about Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans, 12 more crop up.  It's a never-ending battle to see how many words per minute I can type without spraining a pinky.  Or a middle finger. 

Let's start off first with the events of yesterday morning.  No, I don't mean the release of Ke$ha's new album, y'all!  I'm talking about the day that will now be known as the wedding anniversary of Jenelle Evans' first marriage.  Yesterday when Jenelle and Courtland secretly said their "I Do's", they first had to stop by different court room, where Courtland was charged with a felony! 

A Radar source shared, "Courtland Rogers was charged with a felony in North Carolina on Tuesday for obtaining property by false pretenses. Straight after that court hearing was finished Jenelle and Courtland got married at the magistrate's office."

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Some might say it's the end of an era.  I'd say that.  RIP camo hat.  I guess much like Leah Messer being replaced in Corey Simms' life of wedded bliss, his hat must also be replaced.  In this case, he has replaced both Leah and the hat with a more conservative, less redneck version…although if you look closely at both the new fiance and Leah and camo hat and new hat, they all are pretty interchangeable, right down to the bleached hair, fake nails, and super curved bill. 

Likewise, just how everything in Corey's world will always follow a simpler, flame-emblazoned truck story line, Jenelle Evans also likes to follow a script…and not one from the local pharmacy (that we know of, although I'm sure she wouldn't turn down any Rx painkillers).  It's a Teen Mom 2 post of stuff that won't surprise you in the least!

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Well that was FAST!  After like 12 minutes of dating a 14 day engagement, Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers got married this morning!  Coincidentally, Ke$ha dropped her new album today!  Oh the devotion Jenelle has for Ke$ha knows no bounds.

Jenelle's sister Ashleigh ran to the tabloids the minute she found out the news.  It's apparent that these two are still not on good terms. 

"My sister got married this morning, it was a shotgun courthouse wedding."  Um, not sure if Ashleigh really gets what the term "shotgun" means since Jenelle says she is definitely NOT pregnant.   Jenelle hasn't "confirmed" the wedding, but she did share on Twitter that she's not preggers again.  "NOOO I'm not and Courtland did not say anything about getting me pregnant or having kids anytime soon. Over my dead body if I would be that selfish to have a baby before getting Jace back."

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With each season and every episode, Teen Mom 2 just gets more and more depressing.  I honestly don't think that Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry, or Chelsea Houska are getting any more mature…their kids are just getting older.  Notice I didn't even mention Jenelle Evans.  Seriously, what's the point anymore with that one? 

Leah is finally getting over the divorce despite the fact that she was once in love with Corey Simms…like the day before this scene was filmed.  If you can get over it in a day and a half, chances are it wasn't true love.  She's ready to focus on getting back into school for nursing. 

Jenelle's friend Tori bails her out of jail, and Jenelle is upset that her mother wouldn't do it.  I'm more upset that Tori does!  I think she begins to regret it when she learns that she'll be responsible for paying $10,000 if Jenelle is a no-show for court.  Given Jenelle's track record, Tori could have a very hefty fine on her hands!  Both girls lament about how horrible Barbara is for taking care of Jace not springing Jenelle from the clink.  Meanwhile, Chelsea is desperate to get out of the house.  She's totally stressed out about not studying for her GED and her relationship woes with Adam.  Now that he's no longer squatting for free at her apartment, he doesn't really want to talk to her.  Not shockingly, her friend isn't that sympathetic, but she does surprise Chelsea with tickets to Deirks Bentley (jealous!) for the night before a practice GED test.  This is what most would call a conundrum…but not Chelsea.  She like so used to totally cry to Deirks' songs when she was pregnant with Aubree and Adam would treat her like crap. 

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This week on Teen Mom 2, viewers saw Corey Simms and Leah (Messer) Calvert face the end of their marriage

Obviously, Teen Mom 2 is slightly behind real time, as Leah has remarried, suffered a miscarriage, and announced a third pregnancy (whew!) since that episode had been taped. In all fairness to MTV, they aren't that behind, Leah just moves really, really fast. 

While Leah has moved on from her marriage to Corey, some Teen Mom 2 fans (and haters) have not. During Monday night's episode, Leah tweeted about her frustrations about… Twitter. 

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Every week I get a little more frustrated with these girls of Teen Mom 2.  MTV is paying them, and they are learning nothing except how to be more whiny and entitled.  I really think the network should incorporate some kind of weekly therapy session for Jenelle Evans, Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer, and Kailyn Lowry to make it a little more relevant and a little less rewarding immaturity and bad behavior.  Anyone agree?

Case in point, we begin with Chelsea trying to tame her peroxide weave while lamenting about taking her GED practice test in the following week.  She really needs to study, but she has way more important things to do…like plan Aubree's birthday party, attend freeloading Adam Lind's motocross race, and devise a plan to keep her dad from finding out that Adam is squatting on his dime.  Priorities, of course.  Of course, Chelsea's third priority didn't work out so well because she forgot her dad has a key to her house and decided to take a peek inside when he came to pick up Aubree.  She tries to act indignant, like what are you doing in my house?  I want him to retort with, um, it's actually my house considering I pay for it, but instead Randy promises her they will discuss the situation later.

Oh wait, Chelsea explains that she pays her own rent, so maybe I would be a tad upset if my dad busted in, but still.  She arrives at the race, and it's so pitiful to watch her try to kiss Adam and hold his hand while he totally brushes her off and then walks away.  Chelsea acts totally oblivious to his behavior. 

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Last month, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham caused quite the controversy when she revealed her new $16,000 face to the world. At just 21 years old, Farrah had a new chin and nose to go with her previously enhanced boobs

Defending her decision, Farrah said she is happy with her new look. “There was no real influence in getting [plastic surgery], my whole family loved how I looked," Farrah told  RumorFix. "I just felt that it bothered me, so I perfected that, and so now I just waste less time in the mirror and instead I’m like ‘OK, I’m ready to go!’”

“I clearly know myself, and I know it was right," Farrah added. "I chose the right time and the right place, the right person, the right doctor, and I’m around the right people, so I am happy with what I did." 

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Last night's Teen Mom 2 brought tears, tears, and more tears.  Leah Messer finds that a reconciliation is not in the cards, while Jenelle Evans continues to screw up her life one failed drug test at a time.  Kailyn Lowry can't understand why Jo Rivera is playing her.  It's totally different than when she did it to him!  Finally, poor Chelsea Houska.  I think all that bleach has permanently affected her brain and her judgment.  Who am I kidding?  I am giving her hair dye far too much credit!

We begin the episode with Leah.  She's upset that estranged husband Corey Simms doesn't want to try to salvage their relationship.  She only cheated once, so what is the big deal?  Their twins are precious, but they are even cuter when they are biting their mom.  Leah receives an e-mail from her attorney about a settlement agreement.  Also not wanting to reconcile is Jo with his ex Kailyn.  Kailyn is sad that Jo has moved on with his own video vixen, but at least her bestie is home from college to keep her company.  She tells her friend about her love triangle with Jo and Jordan, as well as her non-existent relationship with her mom.  It's been five months since the pair has talked, so Kailyn calls her.  After being sent to her mother's voicemail, Kailyn has Isaac leave a giggling message of nonsense before she talks.  She doubts she'll get a call in return.

Chelsea is thinking about quitting her job at the tanning bed.  I don't think she's thought this through.  How is she going to maintain that natural orange glow throughout the winter months?  I am also confused as to what kind of headdress she is sporting.  Oh wait, that's her actual hair.  WTH?  Doesn't she want to go to beauty school?  Who would let her color their hair after seeing what she does to her own?  Chelsea and Adam Lind are hot and heavy again, despite Chelsea's best efforts to take things slow.  Bwahahahaha!  Adam arrives, and Chelsea begins the requisite baby talk we've all grown to loathe.  With her twentieth birthday being the following day, Chelsea requests her gift from Adam.  It's a promise ring.  He promises not to be as much of a d-bag as in season's past.  It's a start.  Baby Aubree bursts into tears at her mother's excitement.  Smart kid!

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