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Teen Mom 2

Real Housewives of Orange County premiere

The reality TV viewer numbers are in with two returning long-running shows on the list, 16 and Pregnant and Real Housewives of Orange County.

16 and Pregnant kicked off season five with 1.194 million viewers and RHOC's season nine premiere attracted 1.703 million fans. For comparison's sake, the most recent premieres of RHOBH and RHONY garnered 1.592 million and 1.329 million, respectively. Six weeks in, 1.259 million watched much ado about nothing on Real Housewives of New York this week.

The season six finale of Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted 3.816 million fans, bringing its season average to 3.83 million. RHOA could finish season six with a four million average if the reunion shows do well - and that's likely considering the hoopla surrounding Kenya and Porsha.

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It's Dr. Drew time… I hope you stretched your eyeballs because they're about to be doing a lot of rolling. And if you're wearing false eyelashes because you want to look just like your favorite Teen Mom 2 star, I suggest you take them off for fear of injury during this reunion. 

The set this year is really something – don't you love the giant TM2 letters with glittering lights. Things begin with all four girls on stage. Jenelle Evans has been taking hair tips from Chelsea Houska (but Megan is her terrible hairsome clone!) - same color red, same teased style, other than that she looks very pretty and natural. Dr. Drew asks Jenelle how Jace is. She answers, "Ummmm… who? Oh yeah… ummm… oh he hasn't been paying rent so yeah!" 

Chelsea's eyelashes are a travesty. Mind you, this is her profession… Lord help South Dakota. 

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Jenelle Cries When Nathan Suggests Abortion

Last night was the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Aaaahhh… Jenelle Evans oh my, my, my. Man every single season this girl does something to make me think less of her. I mean just when I think she can't top getting arrested for heroin after marrying someone she barely knows, she goes and makes a baby with another lunatic she barely knows not 3 months after having an abortion.

For all of that, I felt a little bad for Jenelle last night – if only because it became more than abundantly clear that she is not right. Nathan Griffith is a sociopath. Something is seriously wrong with him. We will be seeing him as the subject of a Dateline NBC mystery where he has done something truly heinous. 

And also, this recap is sponsored (kidding, not really) by the maternity lingerie photo of Kailyn Lowry and topless Javi Marroquin that is framed above their bed. At least Snuffy was smiling and that may be the only smiling photo of her I've ever seen! 

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The reality TV viewer numbers are in – 2.4 million viewers watched the season two premiere of Married to Medicine on Sunday. This is the second largest audience ever for Married to Medicine – the most watched episode was Mariah and Toya's nasty fight of course. Season one premiered to 1.89 million. Also Real Housewives of Atlanta logged its lowest audience since mid-December with 3.66 million viewers watching Porsha flake out on Kandi.

On Monday, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills secrets revealed special attracted 1.372 million fans, and 2.292 million watched Basketball Wives L.A. Meanwhile, T-Rav's dinner party on Southern Charm garnered 1.059 million viewers, which marks the first time Southern Charm passed one million viewers.

Teen Mom 2 ruled Tuesday night, as always, with 2.152 million viewers tuning in to see Nathan get arrested for DUI. An emotional episode of Dance Moms logged just 1.751 million, which is a season low and down nearly 670,000 since the season premiere in January. The mermaid parade on Real Housewives of New York attracted 1.204 million, and Bravo Ratings reported, "This is the lowest return since the third episode of their freshman season in 2008." 

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So Mr. Perfect got his orange a$$ handed to him! Somewhere Barbara Evans is doing a victory dance.

Nathan Griffith landed himself a THIRD DUI last September and luckily for us Teen Mom 2 cameras recorded the entire thing. The grainy footage featured Nathan resisting arrest, getting tackled to the ground, and being tasered. Nathan was arrested and released on bond paid for by devoted girlfriend Jenelle Evans

Yesterday morning Nathan was sentenced to 30 – 60 days incarceration by the Horry County Sheriff's Department for charges related to his DUI arrest.

The Sheriff's department lists Nathan's sentencing charges as: Resisting Arrest; Interference with Official in the Performance of Duty; Threatening an Official in Performance of Duty; Giving False Name and Address. DRIVING UNDER SUSPENSION, LICENSE SUSPENDED FOR DUI – 2ND OFFENSE DRIVING ON WRONG SIDE OF ROAD.

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kail lowry gives birth to Isaac

Last night on Teen Mom 2 MTV let us down massively with only grainy footage of Nathan Griffith's DUI. Nathan (and Jenelle Evans) claim that since he refused a breathalyzer Nathan wasn't actually drunk, or something. 

Before we get into all of that, Chelsea Houska is trying to be more mature with Adam Lind. Chelsea has come a long way, and the only strides Adam has made is ditching that recedehawk, because he's still a COMPLETE jerk! At Aubree's pre-school pageant he drags new baby Paislee along and is snappish to Chelsea while they do crafts with Aubree. 

Later in the car with Taylor (new baby mama with double-ee named spawn of Adam) he complains that Chelsea isn't going to get be in control of his relationship with Aubree much longer. Um… really, Dumee? Is this before or after you get in a felony car crash or ditch your daughter at your parents because you don't get your way.

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Bravo's Southern Charm

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – there's not much to write home about. On Sunday, Peter and Gregg's confrontation on Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted 3.943 million viewers. That's over 300,000 less than last week. Wait. I thought Peter was THE big deal on RHOA these days. #EyeRoll

On Monday,  2.133 million watched Basketball Wives L.A.,  and the Carolina Day celebration helped Southern Charm hold onto its audience of 923,000. Part three of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion garnered 1.816 million viewers, which brings the season four average to 1.827 million.

On Tuesday, 1.993 million tuned in for Dance Moms, and Jenelle's pregnancy reveal on Teen Mom 2 attracted 2.175 million viewers. The Real Housewives of New York lost viewers (that they can't afford to lose) with only 1.290 million sitting through round three of #BookGate.

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Jenelle Evans Gets Ultrasound

On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 relationships changed, promises were made and marriages may have broken. 

Jenelle Evans is on the pregnancy wagon again. After 16 seconds of dating, 14 seconds of them spent trying to get pregnant, she has finally conceived the spawn of Nathan Griffith: Instagram underwear model, timeshare hawker, and DUI accomplisher and now BIBLE reader. Nathan is dressed like Ned Flanders and staring listlessly at the Bible when Jenelle shoves a positive pregnancy test in his face. He labors over the screen for some time trying to figure out what it says before it dawns on him – he's gonna be a daddy. Again. 

"Are you happy?" Jenelle monotones, expressionless. Nathan is overjoyed – he just has to get through the next nine months and 18 years of paychecks are his! He picks Jenelle up (barely) and spins her around, dollar signs flash in his eyes. To celebrate he dyes his hair platinum blonde. 

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