For example, we know that Teen Mom 3 (forever ago) Mackenzie just giggled her way through getting an IUD, which lasts for five years, but Twitter (real time) Mackenzie is 4 months pregnant. And TM3 Josh McKee looks bored as hell, but Twitter Josh just put a lassoring on it!
TM3 Devoin Austin just promised Briana that he'd be at her house day and night to help with Nova, but Twitter Devoin is in jail. How's that edit gonna taste, Devoin? Probably not as good as Swedish fish.
TM3 Matt McCann and Alex went to couples therapy last week, but Twitter Matt is engaged to some girl named Lekota. TM3 Joey Maes broke up with Katie because she nags endlessly, but Twitter Joey is, um, pulling a Rip Van Winkle? I don't see much from Joey or Katie.
Sunday and Monday night viewer ratings are in! And unsurprisingly the holiday weekend put a little damper on reality TV guilty pleasures – especially if you happened to be doing a little equine therapy on Real Housewives of New Jersey.
The former ratings powerhouse for Bravo again took a hit with only 1.8 million viewers bothering to tune in – that's down majorly from last week! Listen – we have enough of our own family problems to continually focus on the Gorgadices! Keeping Up With The Kardashians continued to hold strong, although it took a slight hit dropping to 2.3 million viewers this week.
Devoin, ex of Briana DeJesus, was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana in March. As a result, he was sentenced to one day in jail and one year of county supervised probation, he must hold a job, and he cannot "seek" or "possess" any illegal substances.
Four months later, Devoin was arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and burglary earlier this week.
Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat.
Two dads, Matt and Devoin, have done nothing but bitch (via Twitter!) about MTV's unfair edit (blah, blah, blah) since Teen Mom 3 aired. If I had a dollar for every time a reality TV star cried bogus edit, well, I would be a lot less poor.
Real Housewives of Miami held steady at 1.3 million. Meanwhile, Bravo's surprise (to me) hit Below Deck attracted its largest audience yet, with 1.75 million viewers. That's up 200,000 from last week's 1.55 million.
Finally, 1.810 million viewers checked out the series premiere of Teen Mom 3, but only 1.554 million stuck around for the second episode. I'm not surprised roughly 250,000 viewers checked out. Two hours of any new series is overkill.
Believe it or not hour number two ends with one of these awe-inspiring couples becoming engaged to be married. All together now – seriously?!?
Mackenzie talks to a friend about her relationship woes. She briefly wonders if Josh resents her for pursuing cheer after she demanded he quit rodeo he put bull riding on hold. Crazy talk! Mackenzie comes to the conclusion that she and Josh fight too much because they don't spend enough time together. She plans to ask him to move in with her.
Cayla wisely questions Mackenzie's thought process. She reasons, "I know moving in is risky, but it's got to be better than living apart."