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Teen Mom Recap


Last night we bid a final farewell to MTV’s original Teen Mom cast. Well, not technically final, because I’m sure they will keep filming this train wreck as long as their are folks like me to watch it!

The finale resumes with a saddened Amber rejoining her mother on Dr. Drew’s sofa after the doctor goes to speak with her. At the end of the first half of the reunion Amber had stormed off stage because she was so upset discussing her younger sister’s death from SIDS when Amber was four years old. Dr. Drew assures Amber that SIDS is sadly a common killer of infants and no one is to blame.

Amber’s mother remembers that the mother-daughter relationship was very stressful before Amber got pregnant. Dr. Drew uses Amber and her mother as a tutorial for parents who are concerned about their child’s sex lives, discussing how to overcome the awkwardness of broaching the subject of sex with one another.

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It’s the first half of this season’s Teen Mom reunion, and of course, Dr. Drew Pinsky is hosting to give his insight and expertise. Thank goodness, because we all know these ladies need it!

Dr. Drew introduces the original Teen Moms, and they all look pretty awkward. He asks them what kind of reaction they get from the public after being back on the show. Maci reveals that she has a lot of older women who were teen moms approach her to say the show helps them broach the subject of sex and parenthood with their children. That’s good, as it is supposedly the point of the program. Amber says she gets mainly negative feedback given the drama that has been a part of of Leah’s upbringing. Farrah gets good feedback, but she seems very out of it with her answer. Catelynn explains that she has many fans approach her about her choice of adoption. She even says that she went to the hospital with a girl who had chosen adoption for her baby because the baby’s father had left her alone with the difficult decision.

Dr. Drew, much like me, feels very proud of Catelynn’s impact. He shows a two minute montage which sums up the entire season. Really? Could I have just watched this Cliff Notes version instead of having to see poor Michael be ridiculed or Gary try his hand at singing?

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Last night’s season finale of Teen Mom was another super-sized episode that had each member of the franchise making very difficult decisions. Will Farrah take Sophia to Florida (thanks Life & Style for being a spoiler!)? Will Carly come to Catelynn and Tyler’s graduation? Will Amber reconcile with Gary? What will become of the Maci-Kyle-Ryan drama trifecta?

It’s Sophia’s second birthday, and Farrah wants to put the family stress of her impending move aside for her party. She walks into her parents’ home and her father greets her warmly. “Shut the hell up, MICHAEL!” she screams. Way to put the stress behind them. At lunch, Farrah’s mom brings up how much pain her daughter was in during labor. None of them seem to remember the day of her birth in anywhere near the same manner, but whatevs. Happy birthday, Sophia! Welcome to the cra-cra!

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Last night MTV decided to punish grace us with thirty extra minutes of Teen Mom, which was a tad confusing as it was just thirty extra minutes of the same old, same old. It seemed unnecessary. But enough of that, the ninety-minute episode had Amber continuing her legal battles with Child Protective Services, more drama erupting between Maci and Ryan, Farrah’s family going to counseling, and Catelynn and Tyler vacationing on Dwight Shrute’s beet farm.

Once out of the clink, Amber breaks up with Clinton so she can focus on herself and Leah. She was apparently in jail for twenty-four hours. I know this because she must tell her friend that twenty-four times during a two minute phone conversation.

Catelynn has finished her requirements for graduation. Even though their ceremony is a few months away, she and Tyler are eager to find out how Carly’s adoptive parents will respond to the invitation to come see the pair accept their high school diplomas. One quick check of their ipad (thanks, MTV!) reveals that Carly’s adoptive parents have sent Catelynn an e-mail. They are very proud of the teen’s accomplishments, but they are unable to give an answer as to whether they will come to graduation. They need more time to think about it. Not defeated, Catelynn and Tyler can see what a difficult decision this must be for Carly’s adoptive parents. The couple hopes that they will come, but they understand if they choose not to attend.

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On last night’s Teen Mom, Farrah continued her North American trek to find somewhere warm and sunny to live, Amber went to jail, Maci decided to go back to school, and Tyler and Catelynn worked on some relationship issues.

Amber and Gary are getting along swimmingly until Amber is arrested for domestic battery. Gary tells his mom it’s hard because Amber is doing everything she needed to do, they have finally developed a friendly, civil relationship, and the battery happened over six months ago.

Farrah is over her plan to move to Arizona and now wants to get her bachelor’s degree at a school in Florida. She discusses her plan with her mother who is supportive of her daughter furthering her education, but voices the same concerns about childcare for Sophia. Farrah explains that lots of girls her age have the experience of going off to college, and while her mom agrees, she points out that most girls her age aren’t trying to go to college full time with a toddler. Farrah’s mom offers to keep Sophia while Farrah moves to Florida, as plane flights home to visit Sophia would be much cheaper than full-time childcare if Farrah were to have her daughter with her full-time in Florida. Farrah become very upset at this suggestion.

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Silver bells, silver bells! It’s Christmas time on Teen Mom. Amber deals with a tragedy from the past, while Maci can’t decide whether to drop out of school. Catelynn receives a surprise visit from her long-gone father, while Farrah tours Arizona with her family.

Amber and her old friend/new boyfriend Clinton are decorating her new house for Christmas. Clark Griswald called, and he’d like to borrow that inflatable Christmas tree. Gary sends Amber a video text of Leah attempting to use the potty (really Gar?) while a huge bouquet is delivered from her “wink, wink” secret admirer. Amber looks lovingly at Clinton for pulling off such a romantic gesture, but he’s cursing Gary’s name for upstaging him…Clinton apparently did not send the flowers. As any sweet girlfriend would do, Amber calls her ex, putting him on speaker phone so her new dude can hear. Gary asks, “Did your day just get better? That’s five dozen roses.” WTF Gary? Stop spending your hard-earned MTV money at the Bunny Ranch and FTD! Put that cash aside for Leah! “Five doz? They are so heavy,” responds a dazed Amber.

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On last night’s Teen Mom, Maci has baby fever, Catelynn and Tyler work towards another visit with Carlie, Amber fixes up her house AND gets a date, while Farrah is going back to Cali, to Cali, to Cali.

Maci has dropped most of her classes to spend more time with her son, so it makes sense that she takes him to daycare. While I agree the little guy could benefit from socializing with other toddlers, wouldn’t putting him in daycare free her up to actually attend school? And now, does she even have much school to attend? Ridic. Bentley enjoys the classroom, but has a meltdown when Maci and Kyle leave. Maci hates to see him so upset, but Kyle is able to go back into the classroom to calm him. Awww, Maci thinks he’d be such a great dad if when they decide to pop out some babies.

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On last night’s Teen Mom, dare I say, most of the cast displayed more-mature-than normal behavior. Granted, it’s on a skewed scale. Amber and Gary acting half as mature as Catelynn and Tyler is a milestone, while Maci and Kyle playing house doesn’t score as high on the scale as Farrah making peace with her mother while teaching Sophia more about her deceased father.

Kyle is still looking for a job, and while Maci finds that fact helpful when it comes to raising Bentley, it’s a huge distraction when it comes to doing her schoolwork. She is having a difficult time juggling potty training, being a faux housewife, and getting her homework finished.

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