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Teen Mom

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This week's season finale of Teen Mom 3 features Mackenzie Douthit and Josh McKee, Briana DeJesus and Devoin Austin, and Katie Yeager and Joey Maes celebrating Gannon, Nova, and Molli's first birthdays. And Alex Sekella and Arabella go to Bermuda for a family vacation.

To kick things off, Mackenzie buys a pair of chaps for Gannon. Ha! Why not? Dressing the baby like an adult cowboy makes perfect sense when Mackenzie doesn't have a job, Josh doesn't have a job, and Gannon, despite winning the family IQ race, is too young to have a job. 

An excited Mackenzie calls Josh to gush about her superfluous purchase. He accepts the call – listens – but rushes off the phone without ever expressing a single emotion. Phone calls are hard, y'all. Mackenzie's friend points out that Josh is barely alive, adding, "He needs to get a pulse in touch with his feelings." Mackenzie says she totally heard excitement in Josh's voice.

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Teen Mom star Amber Portwood was released from prison Monday morning after serving 17 months of a five year sentence for drug possession and parole violations. Amber is out on parole and wants to go to college.

Following her release,  Shawn Portwood tweeted,  "Amber is out and looking better than she ever has because she is clean of drugs and healthy. Time to start a new chapter. I love you, sis." Later that night, he added, "After spending the day with her, I know she will be OK." 

Amber went from prison to a burger restaurant for lunch to her daughter Leah. Mom and daughter were reunited Monday night.  Gary Shirley has full custody of Leah currently, but Amber hopes to obtain joint custody soon.

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Season one of Teen Mom 3 is coming to an end. Slowwwly. Just before next week's finale, we see Alex Sekella celebrate Arabella's first birthday without Matt McCannKatie Yeager struggle with being single, Briana DeJesus date behind Roxane's back, and Mackenzie Douthit and Josh McKee play nice with Mackenzie's family. 

Arabella's first birthday is just a few days away.  Alex decides she'd rather Matt not come to the party – because he'll sulk when he has to share Arabella with others – but she welcomes him to one-on-one time with her on her actual birth day. Sadly, as of right now, Matt has not returned any of Alex's calls. His loss! Alex puts her baby daddy drama on the back burner to deal with her own daddy. She invites him to Arabella's party despite tension since she became a teen mom. He says yes. 

Katie obsesses over Joey Maes. She complains non-stop to poor Molli and whomever else is willing to listen.  Also?  Katie fails to see that she's equally responsible for their breakup. Perpetual victim, this one. Everything is Joey's fault. She'll never be able to forgive him. Blah. Blah. Unless he wants her back, then maybe… probably… definitely. This girl needs a serious reality check and an ounce of self esteem. STAT. 

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Teen mom Amber Portwood released from jail at the Rockville Correctional facility and greeted by mother Tonya and brother Shawn along with MTV crew in Rockville Indiana

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood was released from prison this morning.

As you may recall, Amber was sentenced to five years in prison in January 2012 for drug possession and parole violations. When a court-mandated drug rehab program proved to be too hard for the trouble reality TV star, Amber shocked us all by begging a judge to send her to prison instead in May 2012. 

Amber was released from prison earlier than expected due to earning credits for good behavior and successfully completing a drug abuse program. Amber's mother Tonya and brother Shawn were present for her release. Ex-boyfriend Gary Shirley and daughter Leah were not.

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kieffer delp twitter 2

So, there's shocking, "oh my God, I never saw that coming" reality television gossip, and then there's this. Because, believe me, you saw this coming and will in no way be the least bit shocked. Former Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans' former boyfriend Kieffer Delp was arrested. Again. You may remember him as the homeless dude who got the innocent Janelle hooked on Ke$ha heroin…and it was all captured by MTV's cameras.

This news is especially entertaining for me because a dear friend of mine texted me last week to see if he was missing out on any Kieffer gossip. This friend practices law in Brunswick County and was appointed to one of Kieffer's cases a while ago. Every once in a while he checks in to see if I have heard how his "old pal" is doing. So, this one is for you, buddy (although you likely knew it before I did)!

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Despite Josh McKee and Mackenzie Douthit's relationship woes on Teen Mom 3, they're married now – and Mackenzie, 19, is pregnant again. 

Teen Mom fans had a negative reaction towards Mackenzie's pregnancy due to the fact that she suffers from type 1 diabetes, which presents many risks to both mom and baby.  In an attempt to defend her decision, Mackenzie tweeted, "If your doctor told you your body would no longer be able to have babies after the age of 21 and you're married and 19, what would you do?"

In the end, Mackenzie's declaration brought even more negative attention to her situation, as most didn't believe a doctor would put a time limit on when she could safely become pregnant. Well guess what – now Mackenzie admits her pregnancy wasn't planned and doctors warned her against becoming pregnant again. Ever. PERIOD.

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Farrah Abraham and DJ Brian Dawe want us to believe they've been secretly dating since May. Yeah, no. But, I'm willing to play along for a minute to share Brian's interview with Orlando Weekly, where he pretends to know about Farrah learning from her mistakes and MTV exploiting young girls on Teen Mom.

First Brian says he was caught off guard when their relationship was outted by the press last week.  So he didn't notice the paparazzi Farrah mostly likely invited to their "romantic stroll" in the park?  "It's something I never expected to be brought into," Brian says about the media attention.

"I wasn’t really expecting for  [our relationship]  to come out," continues Brian. "I mean, I didn’t know when it would come out, or if it would, so it kind of caught me by surprise. But I knew it was a big ordeal when people started calling my mom’s house asking about it."

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Briana DeJesus and Katie Yeager bring the drama and tears to Teen Mom 3 this week. First, a boy calls Briana's phone, and Roxanne and Brittany aren't having it. At. All. Then, Joey Maes reveals he's already hooking up with a new girl, and Katie sobs for days. 

On a much happier note, Alex Sekella enjoys a girls night out with friends, and Mackenzie Douthit cartwheels her way back into Josh McKee's heart. 

Briana talks to Jacob, the boy, behind her mom's back. Cue the scene where Mom reminds Briana – not so gently – that she has baby baggage.  So, the eyebrows have spoken, Briana is nothing more than a girl with a baby. Proceed directly to the coven. Don't call Jacob. Don't collect $200.

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