DISCLAIMER: the Teen Mom 3 reunion was taped on November 3, 2012. Yes. MTV is giving us footage that's over a year old to "update" us on the season.
Nevertheless, season one of Teen Mom 3 has come to an end, so it's time for the new Teen Mom cast to talk to Dr. Drew Pinsky. (FOR TWO HOURS!)
The reunion kicks off with Katie Yeager and Joey Maes. Surprise – they are back together! You see, every time Joey's new girlfriend nagged him, it reminded him of Katie. And Joey eventually came to realize that Katie's the only nagger for him. Isn't that sweet?
Katie reveals that Joey was with Brigette for a month before he came back to her. Everything that went wrong is still Joey's fault, of course, but Katie says she's trying to move on, adding, "The only way we're going to forgive and trust is if we move on."
Amber Portwood shocked us when she asked a judge to send her to prison eighteen months ago. Now, out on parole, the former Teen Mom star is making plans for the future and working on her relationship with her daughter.
In a recent interview, Shawn Portwood insisted his sister is clearheaded and sober now, adding that Amber's working hard to rebuild her life.
"Amber's focus is college," said Shawn. "Then she wants to start her own drug rehabilitation program." Sound crazy? Maybe not!Amber was released from prison after serving only seventeen months of a five year sentence mostly due to selflessly helping other inmates better themselves.
To kick things off, Mackenzie buys a pair of chaps for Gannon. Ha! Why not? Dressing the baby like an adult cowboy makes perfect sense when Mackenzie doesn't have a job, Josh doesn't have a job, and Gannon, despite winning the family IQ race, is too young to have a job.
An excited Mackenzie calls Josh to gush about her superfluous purchase. He accepts the call – listens – but rushes off the phone without ever expressing a single emotion. Phone calls are hard, y'all. Mackenzie's friend points out that Josh is barely alive, adding, "He needs to get a pulse in touch with his feelings." Mackenzie says she totally heard excitement in Josh's voice.
Following her release, Shawn Portwood tweeted, "Amber is out and looking better than she ever has because she is clean of drugs and healthy. Time to start a new chapter. I love you, sis." Later that night, he added, "After spending the day with her, I know she will be OK."
Amber went from prison to a burger restaurant for lunch to her daughter Leah. Mom and daughter were reunited Monday night. Gary Shirley has full custody of Leah currently, but Amber hopes to obtain joint custody soon.
Arabella's first birthday is just a few days away. Alex decides she'd rather Matt not come to the party – because he'll sulk when he has to share Arabella with others – but she welcomes him to one-on-one time with her on her actual birth day. Sadly, as of right now, Matt has not returned any of Alex's calls. His loss! Alex puts her baby daddy drama on the back burner to deal with her own daddy. She invites him to Arabella's party despite tension since she became a teen mom. He says yes.
Katie obsesses over Joey Maes. She complains non-stop to poor Molli and whomever else is willing to listen. Also? Katie fails to see that she's equally responsible for their breakup. Perpetual victim, this one. Everything is Joey's fault. She'll never be able to forgive him. Blah. Blah. Unless he wants her back, then maybe… probably… definitely. This girl needs a serious reality check and an ounce of self esteem. STAT.
Amber was released from prison earlier than expected due to earning credits for good behavior and successfully completing a drug abuse program. Amber's mother Tonya and brother Shawn were present for her release. Ex-boyfriend Gary Shirley and daughter Leah were not.
So, there's shocking, "oh my God, I never saw that coming" reality television gossip, and then there's this. Because, believe me, you saw this coming and will in no way be the least bit shocked. Former Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans' former boyfriend Kieffer Delp was arrested. Again. You may remember him as the homeless dude who got the innocent Janelle hooked on Ke$ha heroin…and it was all captured by MTV's cameras.
This news is especially entertaining for me because a dear friend of mine texted me last week to see if he was missing out on any Kieffer gossip. This friend practices law in Brunswick County and was appointed to one of Kieffer's cases a while ago. Every once in a while he checks in to see if I have heard how his "old pal" is doing. So, this one is for you, buddy (although you likely knew it before I did)!