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Teen Mom

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This week's episode of Teen Mom 3 is fairly boring and uneventful. But, when we're talking about disturbingly unhealthy relationships, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Briana DeJesus celebrates her birthday, while Alex Sekella goes on a date. And Mackenzie Douthit and Katie Yeager struggle with being on a break from Josh McKee and Joey Maes.

It's Briana's 18th birthday. Mom agrees to watch Nova overnight so Bri can hang with her friends at a hotel. Briana, in all her socially awkward glory, plans to go clubbing behind mom's back. Mom and Brittany talk about Bri's big night out ad nauseam. Brittany thinks Briana is too irresponsible to be out all night on her own, yet she gifts her with $50 to have fun. Plus she put money aside for Nova's diapers for the week. Best nanny ever!

Matt McCann calls Alex to report that his stint in rehab is coming to an end. He's doing really well, and when given the choice to either come home or go to a halfway house, he chose halfway house. He worries he'll fall right back in with the same crowd if he comes home too soon, however, he plans to use a day pass to visit Arabella on her birthday. Alex happily supports Matt's decisions. 

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jenelle2

Oh no. Say it isn't so! Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans spends so little time with her first son Jace, that I can only imagine what would happen should the train wreck reality star choose to procreate again.  Bad decisions courtesy of MTV, don't you know!

We watched Jenelle drift in and out of horribly dysfunctional relationships and engagements while chasing Ke$ha, weed, and whoever could sell her a quick high. Several rehab stints, God awful tattoos and poor choices later, she's found the #loveofherlife. Sure she has! Purely speculation here, thanks to Jenelle's life playing out on social media, but do we think she could possibly be expecting again?

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Farrah Abraham Inside The 2013 EOTM Awards

Farrah Abraham has been a busy little Tweeter this week.

First, Farrah took to Twitter to fire her PR company, Wicked Creative, because they allegedly scammed her out of money. 

Next, the former Teen Mom star celebrated Selfie Wednesday (is this really a thing?) with a revealing (holy lips, batman!) new picture. Then, Farrah showed off her new tattoo, which is dedicated to herself of course. 

Last, Farrah tweeted seventeen tips for bloggers, adding, "It's eye opening to see when everyone tells you what they think and they end up all being wrong. #SORRYNOTSORRY #THEYDONTMATTER." 

I can hardly wait for next week's lesson. :) Check out Farrah's pics below! 

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'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham shows off her bikini body in Ft Lauderdale wearing a skimpy Betty Bangs bikini before her hosting duties at the Vivid Live Gentlemens club Grand opening

Sounds like Farrah Abraham needs a new PR rep – any takers? 

Farrah took to Twitter over the weekend to bash Wicked Creative, a public relations agency, referring to herself as talent and them as criminals. "1 of the most unprofessional PR agencies who  #Steal  #Lie  #TryToRuin company & talent futures @WickedCreative PR  #Criminal  #SoWrong."

News Flash for Farrah: your future is already ruined. #NobodyLikesYou

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teen-mom-3-nova

This week on Teen Mom 3,  Briana DeJesus visits the GYN for birth control, and Alex Sekella screams at her family.  Also, Katie Yeager endures the birthday trip from hell,  and Mackenzie Douthit discovers that Josh McKee has been lying to her about rodeo practice. 

Briana kicks off this week's episode, and she's very happy to report that her sister/nanny is over last week's "spread my wings and fly far away" attitude. Also, Briana took about three minutes of college classes, so she takes a much needed break. When a boy calls Brittany on her phone, Briana lectures her on birth control and pouts about her little mistake, also known as Nova Star

Next Alex studies while Arabella sits unassisted on the very edge of a table. Are they training her for the circus? Seriously. Since Arabella nailed the death defying high table sitting act, Alex tries a chair. Without a net. This poor baby tumbles off the chair and falls face first onto the hardwood floor. Alex complains because she can't take her eyes off of Arabella for even a second. 

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courtland-rogers-with-dog

Usually I relish reporting on the catastrophes of reality stars, but not this time. 

Jenelle Evan's soon-to-be-(she hopes!)-ex-husband Courtland Rogers has admitted to struggling with addiction issues and after working hard to clean up his act the Teen Mom 2 star reveals he's fallen off the wagon. 

Courtland recently admitted on twitter to using again. Allegedly he was using heroin at the time he was arrested with Jenelle earlier this year. 

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This week on Teen Mom 3, Alex Sekella puts her Matt McCann induced pity party on hold to go to her senior prom. I expect her miserable self to pick up the party right where she left off next week. Fingers crossed!

Mackenzie Douthit and Katie Yeager whine about the same things they've been whining about for the past eight episodes.  At least they're consistent. Whereas Briana DeJesus spends the entire episode in public.  My guess is her house is being fumigated, to smoke out the male species, and she will resume couch sitting next week.

Also, it's Father's Day, and Mackenzie takes the above charming picture of Gannon as part of Josh's gift.  You'll never believe how Josh McKee reacts to that much cuteness. Hint: he doesn't. Because his brain is broken.

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farrah-abraham-the-doctors

Dear Farrah Abraham

I'm not judging you for being any other kind of hoe except for the famehoe kind. Please and kindly seek help for your addiction to attention and we'll forget about all the other unsavory antics you've pulled.

Love, Mary

That's not gonna happen right? Anyway, Farrah has gone from Teen Mom reject, star of a now defunct reality show, to sexytimes maven who considers herself something of an expert. She recently appeared on The Doctors to talk about her sex toy line modeled off her lady parts, sex tapes, and how her new business ventures will affect Sophia's childhood. 

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