In today’s installment of ’50 Ways To Go Insane’, listening to Farrah Abraham‘s voice for an hour is at the tippity-top of my list. Luckily for all of you lovely people, I took one for the team and listened to Farrah’s interview with the ‘Allegedly‘ podcast and I wrote down all the juicy bits. So while I’m icing my brain in a vat of vodka, all of you, please – read-on. Really – you owe it to me…
Farrah discussed everything from love, motherhood, God, politics, her success, and what’s next in her oh-so busy life.
“I’m not a thirsty bitch! I have plenty of H20,” declares Farrah. “I know how to give passion more unto the universe and I think it lacks it so much that I wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t improve where I was. That’s the kinda soul that I got.”
In light of Amber Portwood‘s much-older fiance Matt Baier battling approximately 45 child support cases (OK, actually only like 9 – I think?) from several women, they’ve decided to put their wedding “on the back burner” and instead focus on the ever-pressing issue of online bullying – which they have been victims of.
Apparently the postponed wedding is social media’s fault – viewers have online bullied Amber and Matt into canceling their planned October 10th wedding. #WorldsTiniestViolin.. No worries – they plan to confront the media gossip head on with the truth.
The Teen Mom OG star dished that she’s been offered as much as $20,000 for the real-in the flesh usage of her coochie molds! (WHO are these people and what have they done with their brains?). Maybe this is Farrah‘s backdoorbackup plan?
MTV released the Teen Mom season 6 trailer yesterday.
This season on Teen Mom OG, Farrah Abrahamgets over herself continues to be her same insufferable self, with her fangs in focus on on-again, off-again boyfriend Simon Saran. <eye roll> We all know they’re just using each other – having a “boyfriend” by her side, at events and on the show, makes her appear somewhat human and being on camera outweighs dealing with Farrah and her mini-me, Sophia, for Simon.
After Dr. Drew revealed FarrahAbraham is so crazy he [jokingly] wants to strangle her, she is responding by acting crazy. Obviously! Completely misconstruing Dr. Drew’s comments as both negative and sexual, Farrah is firing back by attacking his ethics and mental stability, and accusing him of violence. Reading comprehension and listening skills are your friend, Madame!
“OK, Dr. Drew, it sounds like you want to strangle me and f**k me,” Farrah accused. “Gross!” Farrah also wonders, caustically, how Dr. Drew’s marriage is doing? (In said interview, Dr. Drew actually scoffed at the idea that he had ever felt anything other than “paternal” towards the 16 And Pregnant and Teen Mom stars, but not-a-porn-star Farrah seems to think everyone is desperate to get in her moulded cooch).
It’s hard for me to take Dr. Drew seriously after watching him placate the many delusional wonders of the Teen Mom franchise. Despite that he ever-so-rarely calls Original Crazy Farrah Abraham out on her nonsense, or questions her behavior, Dr. Drew is finally admitting that Farrah irritates the hell out of him. Finally something we have in common!
Over the many years, Dr. Drew has been barely dealing with the many issues of Farrah, all under the pretense of being a psychiatrist, he explains that she’s “not awful,” but the many-layered reality star is awfully “frustrating.” He also pretty much calls her crazy.
People complaining about Farrah Abraham’s parenting choices is nothing new. In fact, it seems to be a pretty constant occurrence for the Teen Mom star. People hated on her for doing her daughter’s eyebrows while she was asleep. Everyone questioned her for doing that sex tape. There are also a lot of people who don’t support their participation in the MTV reality show.
Now people have another reason to be upset with the fame-hungry reality star. She posted photos of her seven year old daughter Sophia modeling bathing suits and wearing full makeup on her Instagram and the account that she runs on Sophia’s behalf.
Dr. Drew cuts right to the chase and asks for the status on Kail and Javi’s marriage. Supposedly Kail doesn’t know yet because it’s hard to make big life decisions while he’s gone. We all know she’s made up her mind, so maybe the life decisions she’s unsure of aren’t related to staying in the marriage, but rather what kind of visitation schedule Javi should have for Lincoln or how much child support she should demand. For now, she’s just focusing on her career. Dr. Drew high fives her for being the only one of all the teen moms to graduate from a 4-year university, which makes Kail tear up.