For example, we know that Teen Mom 3 (forever ago) Mackenzie just giggled her way through getting an IUD, which lasts for five years, but Twitter (real time) Mackenzie is 4 months pregnant. And TM3 Josh McKee looks bored as hell, but Twitter Josh just put a lassoring on it!
TM3 Devoin Austin just promised Briana that he'd be at her house day and night to help with Nova, but Twitter Devoin is in jail. How's that edit gonna taste, Devoin? Probably not as good as Swedish fish.
TM3 Matt McCann and Alex went to couples therapy last week, but Twitter Matt is engaged to some girl named Lekota. TM3 Joey Maes broke up with Katie because she nags endlessly, but Twitter Joey is, um, pulling a Rip Van Winkle? I don't see much from Joey or Katie.
Devoin, ex of Briana DeJesus, was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana in March. As a result, he was sentenced to one day in jail and one year of county supervised probation, he must hold a job, and he cannot "seek" or "possess" any illegal substances.
Four months later, Devoin was arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and burglary earlier this week.
In honor of hump day – pun sooo intended – I'm bringing you this very special interview with Farrah Abraham. #WootWoot It truly highlights all the things we love about Farrah, including her nonsensical rambling, lack of self-awareness, and special brand of English.
The former Teen Mom star goes into the interview planning to promote Vivid Entertainment's new strip club, and she gets pissy when things go awry. No warm up here, folks! The interviewer jumps right in, asking Farrah how she plans to spend her porn money.
Farrah's number one goal? "Being smart." Well, this interview is shot to hell already, huh? Oh, but there's so much more, like the fact that she still wants us to believe that James Deen was her boyfriend and the whole feminist-lesbian thing that trips her up.
Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat.
RadarLiesOnline jumped at the opportunity to "confirm" Farrah "signed on" with Days of our Lives. Their questionable source reported, "Farrah initially wanted one of the lead roles, but clearly she's not a seasoned actress, so she auditioned for the role of a hooker named Destiny."
"Some of the cast and crew is peeved that she's even on the show," continued the source. "They don't think a popular daytime show that's been on the air for 50 years need to use a ridiculous ploy like Farrah's name to get viewers."
Despite Radar's confirmation, fans of the daytime soap can let out a huge sigh of relief, as a rep for NBC has come forward to debunk the rumor. Farrah has not been cast as herselfa hooker on Days of our Lives. But, just for fun, check out Farrah's audition tapes below!
Two dads, Matt and Devoin, have done nothing but bitch (via Twitter!) about MTV's unfair edit (blah, blah, blah) since Teen Mom 3 aired. If I had a dollar for every time a reality TV star cried bogus edit, well, I would be a lot less poor.
Real Housewives of Miami held steady at 1.3 million. Meanwhile, Bravo's surprise (to me) hit Below Deck attracted its largest audience yet, with 1.75 million viewers. That's up 200,000 from last week's 1.55 million.
Finally, 1.810 million viewers checked out the series premiere of Teen Mom 3, but only 1.554 million stuck around for the second episode. I'm not surprised roughly 250,000 viewers checked out. Two hours of any new series is overkill.