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Farrah Abraham's "desperate to be famous" publicity tour continues. Lucky us! 

This week, Farrah dissed fellow Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell, shared her current thoughts on James Deen (you do not want to miss this!), and revealed that she's thisclose to a new reality TV show (you will most likely want to miss that!).

A few Teen Mom stars tweeted their thoughts after Farrah Superstar was released, and Catelynn wrote, "All I have to say is, she sounds like a dying horse!!" Now, Farrah responded, "Catelynn has a weight issue, but I don't say harsh things about her to hurt her self-esteem."

Huh? Calling out a young woman's issues with weight is, what? Meant to encourage? 

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Surely Jenelle Evans deserves to have a courtroom (or at least a bathroom!) named in her honor at the Brunswick County Courthouse, right?  The Teen Mom 2 star certainly spends enough time there.  Her attorney Dustin Sullivan needs some kind of award!

Jenelle was back in court again Tuesday to face the heroin possession charges and assault claims (among others, of course!) that she and hubby Courtland Rogers were arrested for on April 23.  This girl is never going to learn, and it's tragic.

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Goodness gracious. Does Farrah Abraham ever just stay home and read a book? It feels like she's been crying about being single, bitching about life in general, and justifying her sex tape for years. and years. and years. now. 

In a recent interview with ET, the former Teen Mom star revealed yet another supposed reason behind her personal video Farrah Superstar, "I have no relationships and I'm, like, sad sometimes. So, taking all this into consideration, which some find it hard to, that's what brought me here today."

Similarly, Farrah uploaded a Keek video last week, where she also bellyached about being sad. In an attempt to garner sympathy, Farrah cried about only dating "loser a** boys" who use, lie, and manipulate, adding that she's been "crying every night" because she has been "single and alone" for four years.  

What Farrah fails to realize (and probably never will) is that she is the reason she's alone. She's an insufferable, narcissistic bitch who treats everyone in her life like they're beneath her. But, you know, that's just my opinion. ;) 

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Could Farrah Abraham be the next Kim Kardashian?

I really hope not. I seriously doubt that many people will ever care to Keep Up With The Abrahams. However, for reasons I'll never understand, a lot of people cared to Keep Up With Farrah's Backdoor.

Whole. Body. Shudder. For real. 

According to TMZ's sources, Farrah's video, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, attracted more than two million viewers in just 12 hours. Crazy, right? In comparison, Kim K Superstar garnered a piddly 600,000 views in the same time frame. In response to the news, the former Teen Mom star tweeted:

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Ugh… well errrr… I hope Farrah Abraham was in church to atone for her sins! The former Teen Mom turned sex tape superstar tweeted that she was spending her Cinco de Mayo Sunday with Jesus.

Where she presumably begged the Lord for forgiveness for her naked wrestling antics and chemically influenced driving and incredible delusional rants, right? Probably not. Farrah likely believes the Lord wants her to be happy and she's happiest tangling with James Deen, lying about it, and then spending that money, honey! 

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Sex tapes… drug busts… what would MTV's resident therapist say? 

Well, when that "therapist" is Dr. Drew Pinsky, not a whole lot. Dr. Drew's reaction to the deplorable choices made by Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans as of late comes across as less "Woah! Let's get these girls some help!" and more "Woe is me! Nobody listens to me!" 

“If she would have called me for advice, I would have told her not to do this," Dr. Drew said about Farrah's sex tape. “But she is not my patient, she is not my kid."

News Flash, Dr. Drew: Advice is for imperfect people, Farrah is faultless

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Hey y'all…want to know a quick and easy way to pay for culinary school and get your Master's degree?  If you answered "apply for scholarships and student loans" you'd be sorely mistaken.  Take a lesson from Farrah Abraham and achieve these goals by shopping around a manufactured home movie of the adult variety.  Ah, youth.

That's right!  The former Teen Mom wants to make all of her educational dreams come true, and she's now going to be able to make those dreams a reality thanks to a little film called Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.  Take that, Sallie Mae!  Farrah doesn't need your federal funds to reach her collegiate aspirations.

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farrah-abraham

It's a great week for Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and it's only Tuesday!  She lives such a charmed life, doesn't she?  In light of her recent DUI woes and adult film aspirations, you'd think life would be hard for the former reality star.  However, Farrah always seems to come out on top…I mean, I haven't seen the video (and I can assure you I never will), but I'm guessing that she does.  Too much?

Not only did the twenty-one-year-old ink a deal to start selling that bad boy of a sex tape, she's also ready to go with her DUI case.  Guess what, y'all?  She's NOT GUILTY!

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