On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip!
And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary.
Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.” Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!
Awwww…. making those memories Giucy fan! In this case, Teresa Giudice and Joe Giudice celebrated their last anniversary before one of them hits the slammer; Teresa to serve 15 months, followed by Juicy serving 41 months. Memmmmmmmrreeeeees, misty fabellini colored memmmmmmmrieeeeeeeees of the way we were!
Teresa announced on instagram that she and Joe celebrated 15 years of felonious bliss. “Celebrated our 15 yr Anniversary 10/23/99 With the Love of my Life,” Teresa captioned the photo of her looking all “Everything’s FIIIIIIINE!!!” and Joe looking all, “Where’s the wiiiiiine?!” #GimmeBoozeYouOldTroll
Teresa Giudice was pulling out all the last-minute stops to get out of her impending 15 month fraud sentence, including having her new attorney petition the judge to let her serve 12 months of her sentence in a halfway house. But today a judge said No way – you did the crime, now you do the time!
The prosecution immediately opposed the Real Housewives Of New Jersey star’s petition and Judge Esther Salas agreed. She told Teresa she will not recommend that she serve the bulk of her sentence in anything less than a prison.
Her main reason is, like with everything else, Teresa’s disorganization shot her in the foot! The judge told Teresa that she and her former defense attorneys (the ones Teresa implied didn’t do their jobs) should have made that request at her October 2nd sentencing instead of weeks later by letter. Of course. at that time, Teresa believed she wouldn’t do time. Oops.
“We made it Housewife friends!” cheered Amber. “As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it!”
“I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a ‘no surrender, never retreat’ mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior.”
Noticeably missing from the reaction shots were Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, and Joe Gorga. Melissa took to her blog to explain why she didn’t let cameras into her home that day and throw a little shade at those who did.
Addressing the fans of the show, Melissa said, “We’ve been through so much together throughout the years. It’s not always easy being on reality TV. I’m not complaining, because obviously I signed up for it, but there are times I wish I could turn it on and off. Unfortunately I don’t have that option, so here we are.”
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite family photos from the past few weeks.
In the first one Teresa attempts to explain what she meant by “I don’t understand why this is happening to us.” She also tries to plead her case about her respect for the law and how she’s going to pay back the $400,000. In the second video they take a few calls from viewers. And she goes on and on again with the ‘victim’ stance of how the biggest lesson she learned from this whole mess is to never sign things without asking an attorney to explain them. She also talks about how this is just a blip in time and they’ll get through this and move on with life.
After Teresa was sentenced and all the bigwigs sat around wondering what to do now, I was like, “Um, FIRE HER?!?” I mean, seriously! I was not shocked, however, to learn that a pink slip wasn’t on the list of options.