So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense.
Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…'
My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!
So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti!
In her Bravo blog, Caroline addresses the multiple family bonding, therapy sessions, and misguided team-building exercises. It was so much more believable when these folks weren't getting along? How much more passive aggressiveness between Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice can the viewing audience take? Give us (and the poor therapy horse!) a break, Bravo!
The Manzo matriarch begins by stating the obvious, writing, "The past two episodes of RHONJ were pretty intense, wouldn't you agree? As promised, the viewing audience witnessed a few very real and emotional moments from cast members that you would least expect, my husband Albert being one of them. I'm not gonna lie, that knocked me for a loop, I wasn't expecting that at all."
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star hit up Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week with her daughters Milania and Gia. The Giudice girls were all smiles in the front row for the Just Dance with Boy Meets girl by Stacy Igel fashion show during Style360 Spring 2014 at Metropolitan Pavilion.
All kidding aside, Gia filmed a video message about cyber bullying for the brand. Gia writes, "My #BMGLiveOutLoudMoment was dealing with cyber bullying by social media. Knowing that this is a hard thing to deal with I want to inspire kids to let them know everyone is special in there own way and that they have a voice to stand up to bullies." Her video is below.
It's totally unsurprising that NeNe Leakes was a complete bridezilla who registered for $40,000 worth of designer wedding gifts for her re-wedding to Gregg.
However, it is TOTALLY surprising that invited guest Teresa Giudice splurged on a massively expensive gift for her fellow Housewife. Doesn't she have some bankruptcy debts to pay back? Or legal fees? Or perhaps maybe she'd learn her lesson to save her money! Guess not…
Teresa first shares that she and her cast mates are competitive, "Zen tennis wasn't very zen for me because I'm too competitive. I think we all are! And I've never played tennis before in my entire life. Swear! But it was fun and great exercise — a full body workout! I really like it. Maybe when Audriana goes to school, I'll take lessons or something." Not sure if they'll offer those in federal prison? But what do I know? They might!