Everyone starts a new year with good intentions, right? Even reality stars! While I'm sure they all have a bevy of things they'd like to improve upon (one would hope!) we thought we'd give them a little help in that department. Below are some of the New Year's Resolutions we wish some of our favorite reality stars would make.
Kim Kardashian: 'Please let my mom leave me alone – I resolve to try and say no to her and stop putting all my embarrassing and indecent moments on TV. I really don't want to have to pull a baby out of my vagina on Keeping Up With The Kardashians like Kourtney did. Does being pregnant mean my child has already sold its soul to E!? I hope not. And I resolve to let being pregnant get more media coverage than that icky divorce. Hopefully my next TV wedding will be less of a mess.'
We really, really hope ol' Kimmie Kakes embraces the notion of privacy. Especially less nudie pics on Twitter and less revealing clothing. We've already seen it all, anyway. #sextape #playboy
As theJersey Shore's end draws near, one of its former cast members is making a last-ditch effort to remain relevant. Jersey quitter Angelina Pivarnick is desperately looking for a high profile attorney to help her sue MTV.
A source tells TMZ that Angelina is fuming over the way MTV edits her appearances on the show. She feels that they are making her look bad on purpose and that MTV humiliated her by rejecting her request to help with the Restore the Shore special.
Angelina reached out to Gloria Allred, attorney to the f-listers who normally leaps at the chance to rep famous clients and hold press conferences. (But doesn't seem to ever do much in court?) Gloria shot down Angelina's request for representation, saying Angelina's not famous enoughand she doesn't do charity work she's just too busy at the moment.
We've got a situation here! I have to thank Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino for making that his catchphrase. It just makes blogging life easier. This time around, the Jersey Shore star is not only battling sobriety, but also a vodka company. If it were anyone other than Mike, I'd say they would likely chuckle at the irony.
Mike is suing Devotion Spirits, a company with which he penned an endorsement deal in 2010 (long before heading to rehab for addiction issues). The Situation claims that he maintained his end of the bargain, promoting the protein-infused vodka (yes, you read that correctly…protein-infused. It's alright to gag. I did.) and making the brand the success it is today. While I've never heard of it, I'm not surprised. I prefer to get my protein from some fancy scrambled eggs not my vodka tonic.
The Situation has found himself in many, many situations involving pussy. One could say he lives in a world of pussy galore. But his newest ad for the animal rights group, PETA has him surrounded by a whole nother type of pussy – and there's no smoosh room in sight!
The Jersey Shore star has decided to use his fame for activism, which is a lot more productive than most of his extracurricular activities. In the new ad, Mike gives some advice he's very familar with. "Too much pussy can be a bad thing," the ad reads, serving as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets.
“It was important for me to partner with PETA to raise awareness about the homeless animal crisis because so many dogs and cats must be euthanized each year because there aren’t enough good homes for them all,” Mike shares of his decision to particpate in the ad.
Um, we've got a Situation here. Man, typing that never gets old! Just in time for tonight's two hour Jersey Shore season premiere, news is breaking all over the place that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has fallen off the wagon. Sitch entertained us with his abs in earlier season, but as the guidettes and juiceheads gained international notoriety, he seemed to have difficulty handling the fame. In recent seasons, it was obvious that he didn't just love the booze.
I don't think anyone was shocked when Mike entered rehab for prescription pill addiction. It's going to be an interesting final season with the two biggest partiers out of commission due to Snooki's pregnancy and Mike's sobriety, although I am thrilled for both of them. However, now that Lorenzo has arrived and the show has seen it's last fist pump, will the Situation be able to maintain?