It’s time for an update on those crazy thirty-year-old adults kids from the Jersey Shore! On tap today, we have have a ridiculously rich fist pumper, a very relieved former pill popper, and the announcement of the premiere date for what will likely be the gang’s (or at least Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s) final season of the show.
Forget GTL, everyone’s favorite future pseudo uncle needs a new catchphrase–GTM2, as in gym, tan, make millions. Forbes just released its list of highest paid deejays, and Pauly D was number 7 in the rankings. The easy-going prankster can clearly spin some turntables as it’s being reported he made $11 million in the last twelve months. Yes, you read that correctly! How does one learn to spin tunes? I could surely be a blogger by day and a deejay by night, right? Who needs sleep? Given that Pauly has his own spin-off, a line of clothing, his name on some tanning lotion, and a set of headphones he markets with 50 Cent, it’s safe to say that Pauly is more than just an orange face a pretty face. He’s a cash cow with gravity defying hair!
No good deed goes unpunished! Following last week’s epic Jersey Shorebar brawl, the cast members are being taken to court! Justin Viterito and Devon Chichele, two of the victims in the fight, are planning a massive lawsuit against Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, J-Woww‘s boyfriend Roger Matthews, MTV, Viacom (the company that owns MTV), the bar’s bouncer, and Bamboo Bar where the brawl took place!
The fight began innocently enough, but quickly spiraled out of control. According to TMZ, Justin Viterito was drinking with Ronnie and Roger but when Devon Chichele approached to find his friend a member of the Jersey Shore entourage “pushed him in the back,” says their lawyer Matthew DiBrino.
Mr. DiBrino alleges that Justin went to help Devon but was physically assaulted by Ronnie in the process after the bouncer held Justin in a headlock allowing Ronnie to hit him in the face.
The release of the year’s least anticipated spin-off, Snooki and JWoww is imminent! Slated to premiere on MTV June 21, the show will feature the twoJersey Shore stars in their own paid-for MTV digs. Luckily, it’s not the bacteria cesspool that is the shore house. Snooki tells US Magazine that it’s much more feminine, “It’s very big, just think of a guidette Barbie house, that’s what it looks like. It looks like animal print threw up everywhere.”
At the time that article was posted, Snook hadn’t yet revealed the sex of her baby, and coyly hinted that she would have dressed her child like Pauly D if it were a boy. She’s now confirmed she’s having a mini Jionni!
Cabs are heeya! And they are taking those crazy kids from Jersey Shore back to the beach!
Wetpaint.com is reporting that they’re back for yet another go-round with the twin beds, astro turf roof, and duck phone. A source from the guido hit reveals that the cast is gearing up to head to Seaside Heights where they will begin filming the new season on May 21. As they will film through July, Snooki will be close to popping out that little meatball, seeing as she’s due in August.
Even though we’re pretty sure no one actually watched The Pauly D Project, apparently someone did because Pauly’s road manager, Biggie, has decided to take off on his own. Wetpaint reports that since appearing on the show, Biggie has received many DJing offers of his own and has decided to stop living his dreams through Pauly and pursue his own career. But, no worries, the pair are still BFFs. The other members of Pauly’s crew, JROC, Ryan and Jerry show no signs of leaving the fold.
Now that the cast of Jersey Shore is facing what may be their final season at the shore house, the cast looks like they’re all going forward with new ways to stay relevant. Because once the show is over, their “fans” will all move on to the next train wreck.
The Situation, who recently performed a stint in rehab, announced a new pranking series that premiered earlier this week. The classy show is looking for viewers to submit videos based on suggestions like “Best Hook Up with a Grenade” or “Loudest Fart in a Public Place.” This makes Jersey Shore look like Mad Men. The Situation says he’s happy to be free to be as gross as he wants to be, “I’m excited to work in an uncensored environment and see where the show takes me.”
Vinny Guadagnino, who famously left the show early last season due to anxiety, made good on his threat to publish a self-help book. Control the Crazy: My Plan to Stop Stressing, Avoid Drama and Maintain Your Inner Cooldropped this week. Here is one suggestion on how to work on anxiety that requires no therapy or medication: stay out of stressful environments, like say, reality show filming. Vinny will also tour the country and speak to college kids about anxiety disorder. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and am always happy to see a public person speak out about this, but it still feels a bit fake. On the other hand, if it gets anyone out there into treatment and makes them feel less alone, then I’m glad Vinny is doing this.
Finally, another change for our pregnant guidette, Snooki. Not only has he had to give up her legendary binge drinking now that she’s pregnant, but Snooki had to give up her true love: tanning! Snooki posted photos on her Twitter that showed off what might actually be her natural hue and it’s more China Doll than Lindsay Lohan orange. Dare I say she looks cuter with less tanning? It doesn’t matter, because she’ll likely go back once the baby is born.
TELL US: WILL YOU WATCH SITUATION’S NEW SERIES? READ VINNY’S BOOK?