Our lovely recapper, Lauren, is temporarily unavailable, so I’ll be your pinch hitter this week for Southern Charm – or as it’s come to be known in some circles: Men In White Pants Behaving Badly. This season seems like it’s all about turning the tables on the good ole’ boys club, what with Naomie Olindo facing off with JD Madison, and Kathryn Dennis finally getting her very own #GirlSquad. While some of the “boys” are learning their lessons – or hiring their Uber driver as a life coach – others are shacking up with perpetually DEHYDRATED people like Ashley Jacobs.
We begin at Craig Conover’s home, where he’s calling up a life coach he found on the Google Machine. He’s ready to stop eating chicken fingers for breakfast (wtf was that on his counter!?) and get his newly coached arse in gear. Cameran Eubanks is getting ready for her baby girl by shopping with her mom – and accusing her of dropping her on her head when she was a baby. Um. Well, it all worked out in the end, so no worries.
The cast of Southern Charm has truly stepped up its game this season- at least for the most part. As per usual, everyone is bleeding out for the show and opening up about their personal lives except for narrator Cameran Eubanks, who just comments on everyone else’s drama while keeping her own life under wraps. Nevertheless, the show is really on point this season.
One major reason for this reason’s entertainment value is the anger of post-breakup Naomie Olindo. She is calling out the good ole boys of Charleston whenever she can. She has a major ax to grind with ex-boyfriend Craig Conoverand (kind of, sort of cast member) JD Madison. She is giving us the most talked-about moments- by far.
I cannot tell a lie. Southern Charm has been one of my guilty pleasures since it first premiered, but the past few seasons have been far too dark and depressing…like Bravo was exploiting some serious issues of people with young children simply for entertainment value–oh wait. But I couldn’t let myself think such harsh thoughts about the mother ship, so I focused on the background, a city I love with all of my heart. That said, with a Kathryn Dennis comeback (who knew I’d ever be excited about that?) and a return to friendships that existed long before the cameras arrived, this season is very refreshing. Throw in a cringe-worthy Thomas Ravenel and Craig Conover’s Singer, and it’s ratings gold.
Cameran Eubanks is trying to induce labor while reveling in her shower gift from Patricia Altschul, butler Michael on loaner. The South’s Mr. Belvedere is helping her organize gadgets while sweetly prodding her to make her own baby food…or rather have her chef or her chef’s assistant whip up some organic goodies for her little one. It is the way of the well-to-do, after all. Cameran retorts that she’s far from high society–she’ll be getting canned jarred Gerber BOGO, a-thank you very much. She may not need the finer things, but she won’t shrug off a foot massage from the man behind the caftan. Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t either. There’s something about that Williams-Sonoma apron…
A picture is worth a thousand words, rights? So what does it say when Cameran Eubanks, Whitney Sudler-Smith, Shep Rose, Kathryn Dennis, and Patricia Altschulall post the same photo of Cameran, Whitney, Shep, and Kathryn with Cameran’s daughter Palmer? I’m sure that they were all excited to meet the new baby, but are they also sending a message about the “teams” for the rest of Southern CharmSeason 5? Or maybe I’m just being presumptuous… Then again, take a look at Thomas Ravenel’sTwitter account and it’s very clear that he and Patricia are feuding these days. We shall see what happens as the season continues….
I’m not sure what Southern Charm is attempting with its new introduction, but it does seamlessly help transition from one episode to the other. We’re still treated to the Charmers starting their day, but if I’m being completely honest, I could have done without a certain aging Lothario slothing around in his bathrobe and making googley eyes at his latest contender for child bride.
Thomas Ravenel and new lady Ashley are cuddling in bed as he praises her for having a “real woman’s heart”…whatever that means. Across town, Patricia Altschul calls Cameran Eubanks to discuss a co-ed baby shower. Pat and Cam bond over uncomfortable pregnancies, Cameran promises to provide a guest list. Patricia interrupts to say that since she’s hosting, she’ll compile the guest list. At Kathryn Dennis’ new apartment, the young mom is playing with Kensie and Saint. Only getting her kids every other weekend, Kathryn focuses on spending all of her time bonding with her toddlers. Kensie is an attentive big sister, ordering Saint around like it’s her job, and it will be for the rest of her life. My younger brother would say the same!
Last night’s Southern Charm invited us to sit down with our favorite man children and the girls who love to hate them…and sometimes hate to love them. All poor Shep Rose wants is to celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday, but Naomie Olindo and Danni Baird have other plans. Kathryn Dennis manages to keep her cool despite Thomas Ravenel flaunting new arm candy in her heavily made up face. It’s the south’s version of the dinner party from hell, minus the e-cigarette and psychic.
At Shep’s house, Craig Conover is lording over raw meat as T-Rav and his new lady bitch about Kathryn and joke about Ashley becoming T-Rav’s new bride and his children’s new mom. Classy. The charmers arrive at the party with Cameran Eubanks waddling up with in her finest maternity wear that showcases her adorable bump. Ashley tries to butter up the mini-matriarch by asking if she’s only five months along in her pregnancy…as if she doesn’t stalk her on social media. Cameran questions Craig about how he feels seeing Naomie, and he’s nervous. In the Uber with the girls, Naomie admits she feels the same way. Likewise, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are awaiting their own uneasy encounters. T-Rav jokes that J.D. calls this gal crew the “break-up bunch.” The ladies are all about supporting each other while tearing down their narcissistic Peter Pan counterparts.