Dang, Whitney! It’s like that, bruh? On last night’s Southern Charm, Craig Conover took his “good friends” Shepard “Shep” Rose and Whitney Benedict Arnold Sudler-Smith to visit his parents’ home in Delaware. After berating Craig in front of his parents as a lazy, drunken, debauched man-boy in need of immediate intervention (which, okay, Craig is…but still! In front of the ‘rents, Whitney!?), Craig understandably got pissed. Although they worked it out on the golf course – for now – Craig reflects in his Bravo blog just how betrayed he felt when it all went down.
When he originally conceived of the idea to take his friends home to DE, Craig says he thought, “‘Why the heck not?’ I knew they would have a good time and be surprised to compare where I actually grew up to whatever they imagined in their heads.” He adds that he wanted the guys to see where he’d come from (and his 2.1 billion trophies of bygone days), so they’d get a better understanding of who he is now. And who he can be? “I knew they would have a great time, my parents would enjoy it, and that it would give them a deeper insight into who I really was as a person and where my roots really come from. Maybe seeing how successful I’ve been throughout my life would help them understand that I’m just going through a rough patch/low point in life and everything would be OK,” Craig explains. As for Craig NOT wanting to tell his parents about losing his job, he explains, “I didn’t want them to worry. I knew there was no way of telling them over the phone that I got fired and them not inherently thinking something was seriously wrong. Of course I was embarrassed, but my intentions weren’t from a selfish place.” He adds that “there was a lot of shame–they gave me the perfect childhood and have since provided me with everything I needed to become a very successful young adult. I didn’t think it was fair to them for me to be acting the way I was and losing my job after all of their hard work.”
I’ve been sinking into the warm, comfy chaise lounge that is Southern Charm since last season and, given the climbing numbers of viewers each week, so have a lot of us! With tonight’s episode looming before us (will Kathryn Dennis turn more hillbilly than femme fatale on T-Rav’s aging carcass? Will Whitney Sudler-Smith ever stop breastfeeding?), we take a look at SC’s resident southern charmer, Shepard “Shep” Rose, as he answers some questions on his latest Bravo blog. Alas, no spoiler alerts here, but plenty of “Oh, gorsh!” Shep reflections.
When asked about his birthday party, from with Kathryn took longer than Shep to recover, Shep says, “I had a blast at my party. Any party where I’m the center of attention is OK with me. Honestly I don’t really get bad hangovers; it’s a blessing and a curse.” He and his non-hungover self also finally moved into the house he’s been building all season: “My new house is great. I moved in in December. Got it all set up perfectly now.” When he says he’s got it set up, I think we can likely deduce that Shep’s mom, who has been buying and storing home goods for her dear boy since Laura Ashley stopped making floral wallpaper, actually did the dirty work.
I hate Mondays, y’all. Or rather, I hate Mondays until I get my Southern Charm fix! Nothing is more hilariously rich than Ms. Pat using the phrase “bitch slapping,” am I right? As the recaps for this bourbon and bow-tied deliciousness are a tad verbose for my liking, let’s get to the meat (medium rare dry-aged rib eye from Hall’s, naturally) without the pleasantries of an introduction, shall we?
After a big night out for Shepstradamus’ birthday, Kathryn Dennis is recovering on Jennifer Snowden’s sofa having gotten into a fight with tequila and losing to Jose Cuervo. Jennifer attempts to cure her friend’s hangover with “rich people water,” listening to Kathryn lament about her current situation with Thomas Ravenel. Kathryn doesn’t care if T-Rav is mad that she spent the night away from Kensington, she’s just so exhausted from trying to make things work. Kathryn thought they were a team, but Sandy Duncan is hellbent on causing a rift between the couple with her campaign planning mojo. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose calls Landon Clements as he struggles to iron his shirt on the corner of his bedside table. He’s getting ready to show his mother the progress on his house, and he needs to look presentable. Who was as surprised as I was to learn that Shep owns an iron? And who found it as adorable as I did when he joked he was holding out for the right ironing board? Season 2 Shep is head and broad shirtless shoulders above his season 1 counterpart! Mama Shep is everything you’d expect her to be, and she’s a bit concerned about his transitional neighborhood. Reminding us that he’s still a bit of a douche, Shep points out a neighbor’s Audi that he promises isn’t stolen. Mama Shep has already bought the home’s furnishings (she still dresses him for goodness sake!), and she urges him to get an oven, if not for soup then at least for resale value. Now that Shep has a house, she’s ready for him to lock down a spouse. Shep admits that he has an upcoming date…that’s a start!
Patricia blogged to share that, first, Whitney’s not a bad doggy dad. She admits, “I have a confession to make: Monty, the adorable Lagotto Romagnolo I claimed to have given Whitney as a gift, I actually got for myself. Which doesn’t mean he isn’t passionate about his own dog, Smoochie. Whitney is just able, unlike his mother, to focus his fervor on one pet at a time. If he seemed reluctant about training Monty, it’s because he was running around doing errands getting ready to leave that night to go to the party at Blenheim Palace.”
I hope I’m not the only one who is waiting to see what transpires between Kathryn Dennis and Craig Conover on tomorrow night’s episode of Southern Charm. When we left the crew last week, most of the cast was shooting tequila and celebrating the thirty-fifth birthday of everyone’s favorite boyish philosopher, Shepstradamus.
Craig and Kathryn’s friend-fest is a far cry from where we left the former nemeses on the freshman season of the Bravo show. From the upcoming previews, we know there is a decent amount of salacious gossip insinuating that the pair spent the night together at the beach (I’m assuming at Whitney Sudler-Smith and Shepard “Shep” Rose’s Sullivans Island bachelor pad), but does it amount to anything other than a hill of butter beans? I’m guessing “no,” considering some of Kathryn’s recent comments.
I have officially been Southern Charmed. This Shakespearean comedy of errors continues to grow on me from week to week, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share that I was lucky enough to pop in on Cooper Ray’s recent fashion show promoting his Social Primer line. The vibe was Risky Business, with chiseled models in Oxfords and undies sporting his whimsical designs. Who knew one could make classic seersucker and madras so cutting edge? Cooper was a gracious and genuine host, and he revealed that he styled NYC Prep’s Sebastian for the Paper Magazine article I harped on a few weeks ago. Did someone say “kindred”?
Last night’s episode begins with Kathryn Dennis tending to the adorable Kensington as Thomas Ravenel struggles to move a crib into the new downtown nursery. Cameran Eubanks is working the real estate market, and, not surprisingly, Craig Conover and Shepard “Shep” Rose are snoozing through a beautiful morning. Shep admits he doesn’t do anything productive before noon, citing that he once broke up with a girl who tried to start his day at 9:30. No thank you. Patricia Altschul is perusing Garden and Gun (but of course) as the OG butler plays veterinarian to her pampered pooches. She dials up son Whitney Sudler-Smith who regales her with his European vacation plans–Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!–with his German reality star girlfriend, giggling at how pretentious his travel agenda sounds. He relays that he will be attending a party thrown by Winston Churchill’s grandson at a pristine castle. It’s all so gauche I can hardly stand it!
Kathryn and T-Rav head to Upper King to buy out Morris Sokol for their downtown abode. I once took out a loan to buy a throw pillow there, but the store’s furniture is absolutely stunning. Thomas is beyond thrilled that the new house will keep Kathryn preoccupied with decorating and coffee dates and ladies who lunch, but Kathryn thinks the closer proximity to Thomas’ office will allow for more couple time. T-Rav humps a temperpeadic (“I like it, it’s quiet…”) and claims that they will have plenty of opportunity to work on their relationship once his election is over. Until then, he needs to focus on the campaign trail.
A dear, dear lifelong friend (transplanted to Boston but addicted to seeing her state featured on Southern Charm) texted me a “Which Southern Charm Gentleman is Your Soul Mate” (or something to that effect) quiz, stating, “I’ll tell you mine, but ONLY after you tell me yours.” I got Shepard “Shep” Rose (natch), and she hesitantly admitted that her match was Whitney Sudler-Smith’s divinely devilish mother. She lamented, “I think it’s slightly embarrassing that an opinionated lady who loves her medicine is my soul mate. What does that say about me?!?” Um, I’d say it just confirms how amazing my friend is…had I known Ms. Pat was an option, I may have swayed my responses! That said, last night’s episode proves that Whitney and Patricia are just fine playing the villainous upper echelon who take pleasure in looking down (way down!) on their co-stars. She’s like the love child of Julia Sugarbaker and Regina George with her flawless style, biting observations, and ultimate Mean Girl exclusion.
The show begins with Patricia summoning her butler (the newbie Mr. Belvedere has been busy polishing the silver…I’m glad to see he got the job!) to request glue sticks on his next run to the Publix. She’s compiling scrapbooks for her son as practice for a wedding photo album, but you won’t find these leather, gold-embossed babies on Pinterest, that’s for sure. Patricia opines about Whitney’s young, European reality star girlfriend and their foray into foreign tabloids as she dreams of a couture Valentino for their ceremony. Whitney arrives to complain about the Sandy Duncan from hell who Thomas Ravenel has enlisted to run his campaign. She doesn’t like the Raise the Roof ad, and Patricia is confused by this serf’s taste in low-budget political propaganda. Pat found her son’s vision of a dancing T-Rav to be “brilliant.” The duo laughs at the thought that any ad or manager could get Thomas a seat in the US Senate, as Whitney recaps his fundraiser at Bowen’s Island (Patricia briefly turns into Cher Horowitz…”as if” she’d attend any event off the peninsula!). He relays Kathryn Dennis’ bunny boiler meltdown when she felt condescended to by Whitney. Patricia poo poos the grammar and turns the attention to her diamond studded flats.
Tonight on Shahs of Sunset, Asa Soltan Rahmati starts to feel overwhelmed by her needy and/or obnoxious friends. She attempts to help Mike Shouhed reconnect with the group, listens to Reza Farahan‘s relationship problems, and argues with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over highly important stuff like leggings. To “settle the score” and “relieve pent-up tension” the Shahs of Sunset decide to play a game of dodgeball. <eye roll> In the preview clip below, Asa calls out MJ for the ish she started over Reza and Adam’s bachelor parties.