It was all about the hot mess express on Monday’s episode of Southern Charm, but the mode of transportation wasn’t a crazy train–instead it was a golf cart! After Kathryn Dennis went off on Whitney Sudler-Smith in a cyclone-esque storm of hate (one friend described it as “feral”), Craig Conover came to her rescue with more vino, keys to a battery operated tiny-car, and sticks and sand to generate body heat. It was, as you all recall, scandalous.
While Shepard “Shep” Rose had plenty to say about Craig’s recent tomfoolery during the group’s dinner on Jekyll Island, Cameran Eubanks has been the one talking it about it post-show. While some see her as a pot-stirrer, I honestly believe she cares for these turds, and she’s at her wits end trying to help them make good decisions. Of course, we all know that good decisions make for bad reality television. Thankfully for Bravo, there is no shortage of idiotic behavior when it comes to the charming cast!
Southern Charm, I can’t thank you enough for being the beacon of light in my dreaded Mondays, and last night’s episode was no different…although Shepard “Shep” Rose could’ve have laid off Craig Conover just a tad. The cast is packing for their Jekyll Island adventure, and Landon Clements’ fingers are crossed for a refined weekend of manicured lawns and low-key dinners. Craig calls Whitney Sudler-Smith to bum a ride, but alas, Whitney is an hour into the trek or else he’d turn around to retrieve him. Of course, Whitney spins this lie as he packs his Louis Vuitton weekender just a quarter mile from Craig’s apartment, but whatevs. Cameran Eubanks and Shep are tasked with carpooling the wayward law student, and they have agreed they need continue the tough love when it comes to his downward spiral. Shep is all in, and Captain Craig (seriously dude, that hat?) gets defensive about bar study and rent payments. Meanwhile, in the car with Jennifer Snowden, Kathryn Dennis hopes this trip will solidify her spot in the clique on her own merits, and not just as Thomas Ravenel’s plus one.
Landon and her sister Powell are the first to check in, followed by Whitney. Over drinks, Landon apologizes in advance to the bartender for her friends who have yet to materialize. Shep and Craig can’t handle the geriatric vibe they’re getting from the island. What is this place? Heaven’s waiting room? The two are forced to mainline Scotch to tolerate this retirement community. Cameran is beyond embarrassed by their childish antics. This is why she’s child free at the moment. Jennifer and Kathryn arrive as the others take off on a bike ride. Their swift departure and refusal to wait for the girls is an omen for Kathryn. She’s all Stephanie Tanner about the situation. Rude. They should be thankful they avoided the testosterone fueled beach cruiser nightmare that is Craig and Shep arguing over how to best reach the ocean. Shep takes every opportunity to insult Craig about his current life situation, calling him so broke he can’t even pay attention. I am definitely stealing that line. The boys spar over their mapquest skills when they’re informed they are about as far from the beach as is humanly possible.
When it comes to being a good friend, Whitney Sudler-Smith didn’t raise the bar very high for himself when he and Shepard “Shep” Rose went with Craig Conover to visit his family on last night’s Southern Charm. Speaking of bars, Craig’s pals are concerned that he’s spending so much time frequenting them, he’s going to have a tough time passing the one that is most important. Sadly, if Craig did sit for the February bar, he didn’t pass, as results were posted on Friday. It breaks does break my heart for him because the test is so subjective–I have no clue how I passed the first go round, and I have no clue how some of the smartest folks I know had to take it multiple times. UPDATE: Craig didn’t take the February bar, tweeting earlier, “Just so everyone knows — I did not take my Bar Exam in February — I’m excited to announce that I finally get the chance to take it in July!” Good luck to him this summer! Last night’s episode begins with Extreme Akim doling out some tough love as he bids his former employee adieu. Craig is embarrassed that his mentor, who once had such high hopes for him, believes he needs to reign in his behavior.
Landon Clement is facing the fact that she no longer has the safety net of her ex-husband’s income. She has a plan to sell “a lifestyle,” but she’s going to start with a test run pop-up shop in a local home. Her vision is that everything in the house is handpicked from local merchants and is for sale–from the artwork on the walls, the designer clothes in the closets, and the vintage cars in the garage. Shep reminds Landon that she can’t focus too much on work, and she assures him that she’s going to make time to socialize. In fact, she’s planning to invite the crew to Jekyll Island the following weekend. Despite their recent rough patch, she wants to include Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis as well. Shep looks like he wants to pat Landon on the head and whisper, “oh sweetie, no,” as I would envision Patricia would do, poo-pooing the footman’s vermouth pour. He thinks Landon is naive when it comes to T-Rav and Kathryn’s relationship. Shep believes the duo needs to cut their losses, go their separate ways, and amicably co-parent baby Kensington. In other words, they don’t need to drag down the fun quotient on any upcoming mini-vacays.
Dang, Whitney! It’s like that, bruh? On last night’s Southern Charm, Craig Conover took his “good friends” Shepard “Shep” Rose and Whitney Benedict Arnold Sudler-Smith to visit his parents’ home in Delaware. After berating Craig in front of his parents as a lazy, drunken, debauched man-boy in need of immediate intervention (which, okay, Craig is…but still! In front of the ‘rents, Whitney!?), Craig understandably got pissed. Although they worked it out on the golf course – for now – Craig reflects in his Bravo blog just how betrayed he felt when it all went down.
When he originally conceived of the idea to take his friends home to DE, Craig says he thought, “‘Why the heck not?’ I knew they would have a good time and be surprised to compare where I actually grew up to whatever they imagined in their heads.” He adds that he wanted the guys to see where he’d come from (and his 2.1 billion trophies of bygone days), so they’d get a better understanding of who he is now. And who he can be? “I knew they would have a great time, my parents would enjoy it, and that it would give them a deeper insight into who I really was as a person and where my roots really come from. Maybe seeing how successful I’ve been throughout my life would help them understand that I’m just going through a rough patch/low point in life and everything would be OK,” Craig explains. As for Craig NOT wanting to tell his parents about losing his job, he explains, “I didn’t want them to worry. I knew there was no way of telling them over the phone that I got fired and them not inherently thinking something was seriously wrong. Of course I was embarrassed, but my intentions weren’t from a selfish place.” He adds that “there was a lot of shame–they gave me the perfect childhood and have since provided me with everything I needed to become a very successful young adult. I didn’t think it was fair to them for me to be acting the way I was and losing my job after all of their hard work.”
I’ve been sinking into the warm, comfy chaise lounge that is Southern Charm since last season and, given the climbing numbers of viewers each week, so have a lot of us! With tonight’s episode looming before us (will Kathryn Dennis turn more hillbilly than femme fatale on T-Rav’s aging carcass? Will Whitney Sudler-Smith ever stop breastfeeding?), we take a look at SC’s resident southern charmer, Shepard “Shep” Rose, as he answers some questions on his latest Bravo blog. Alas, no spoiler alerts here, but plenty of “Oh, gorsh!” Shep reflections.
When asked about his birthday party, from with Kathryn took longer than Shep to recover, Shep says, “I had a blast at my party. Any party where I’m the center of attention is OK with me. Honestly I don’t really get bad hangovers; it’s a blessing and a curse.” He and his non-hungover self also finally moved into the house he’s been building all season: “My new house is great. I moved in in December. Got it all set up perfectly now.” When he says he’s got it set up, I think we can likely deduce that Shep’s mom, who has been buying and storing home goods for her dear boy since Laura Ashley stopped making floral wallpaper, actually did the dirty work.
I hate Mondays, y’all. Or rather, I hate Mondays until I get my Southern Charm fix! Nothing is more hilariously rich than Ms. Pat using the phrase “bitch slapping,” am I right? As the recaps for this bourbon and bow-tied deliciousness are a tad verbose for my liking, let’s get to the meat (medium rare dry-aged rib eye from Hall’s, naturally) without the pleasantries of an introduction, shall we?
After a big night out for Shepstradamus’ birthday, Kathryn Dennis is recovering on Jennifer Snowden’s sofa having gotten into a fight with tequila and losing to Jose Cuervo. Jennifer attempts to cure her friend’s hangover with “rich people water,” listening to Kathryn lament about her current situation with Thomas Ravenel. Kathryn doesn’t care if T-Rav is mad that she spent the night away from Kensington, she’s just so exhausted from trying to make things work. Kathryn thought they were a team, but Sandy Duncan is hellbent on causing a rift between the couple with her campaign planning mojo. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose calls Landon Clements as he struggles to iron his shirt on the corner of his bedside table. He’s getting ready to show his mother the progress on his house, and he needs to look presentable. Who was as surprised as I was to learn that Shep owns an iron? And who found it as adorable as I did when he joked he was holding out for the right ironing board? Season 2 Shep is head and broad shirtless shoulders above his season 1 counterpart! Mama Shep is everything you’d expect her to be, and she’s a bit concerned about his transitional neighborhood. Reminding us that he’s still a bit of a douche, Shep points out a neighbor’s Audi that he promises isn’t stolen. Mama Shep has already bought the home’s furnishings (she still dresses him for goodness sake!), and she urges him to get an oven, if not for soup then at least for resale value. Now that Shep has a house, she’s ready for him to lock down a spouse. Shep admits that he has an upcoming date…that’s a start!
Patricia blogged to share that, first, Whitney’s not a bad doggy dad. She admits, “I have a confession to make: Monty, the adorable Lagotto Romagnolo I claimed to have given Whitney as a gift, I actually got for myself. Which doesn’t mean he isn’t passionate about his own dog, Smoochie. Whitney is just able, unlike his mother, to focus his fervor on one pet at a time. If he seemed reluctant about training Monty, it’s because he was running around doing errands getting ready to leave that night to go to the party at Blenheim Palace.”
I hope I’m not the only one who is waiting to see what transpires between Kathryn Dennis and Craig Conover on tomorrow night’s episode of Southern Charm. When we left the crew last week, most of the cast was shooting tequila and celebrating the thirty-fifth birthday of everyone’s favorite boyish philosopher, Shepstradamus.
Craig and Kathryn’s friend-fest is a far cry from where we left the former nemeses on the freshman season of the Bravo show. From the upcoming previews, we know there is a decent amount of salacious gossip insinuating that the pair spent the night together at the beach (I’m assuming at Whitney Sudler-Smith and Shepard “Shep” Rose’s Sullivans Island bachelor pad), but does it amount to anything other than a hill of butter beans? I’m guessing “no,” considering some of Kathryn’s recent comments.