Rachel McAdams is busy filming amazing movies, and Lindsay Lohan is busy doing whatever it is that Lindsay does, so it’s safe to say that when Tina Fey placed the call for a Mean Girls reunion, the cast of Southern Charm obliged. Let’s skip over the the fact that the crew started last night’s episode the morning after Patricia Altschul‘s flamingo party (I won’t mention that Whitney Sudler-Smith was eating a hot dog for breakfast, but I will note that Michael the butler is having to tidy up after the ruckus).
Craig Conover‘s residence with girlfriend Naomie at her parents’ gorgeous marsh front home in West Ashley has been sold, so the pair is moving to her fixer-upper (read: amazing house) in Mount Pleasant. Craig is fine with this turn of events, as he’d rather live on the streets with Naomie as opposed to in a castle without her. That’s romance, dear readers. Naomie wants the details on Pat’s party, and Craig sheepishly admits that he may have created some of the drama surrounding Thomas Ravenel and Jennifer Snowden‘s showdown, as well as Whitney’s disdain for Kathryn. He provides a lengthy explanation about Kathryn being a trophy that he no longer wanted after Shep tapped that, but he is positive that Whitney is still brewing with jealously.
The cast of Southern Charm is an entertainingly eccentric bunch, no doubt, but no one seems to capture the essence of the Holy City like K. Cooper Ray. The fashion designer, writer, and etiquette enthusiast thrives on the city’s history and protocol, and he has an eye for the smallest details that make the biggest impressions.
After last week’s showdown between Thomas Ravenel and Jennifer Snowden, and being on the receiving end of Patricia Altschul’s cold shoulder, Cooper was gracious enough to sit down with me for an inside scoop as viewers head deeper into the third season of the Bravo hit. After a brief tour of his latest endeavor (more on that in a bit) at The Hidden Countship, a stunning Italian boutique downtown, we chatted for over an hour. I swear, I could listen to this man’s stories for days…he’s had such a fascinating life and has a no nonsense approach to work, friends, and reality stardom. Just as one would expect, Cooper’s anecdotes are peppered with humor, gentility, and subtle shade.
T-Rav heads to JD’s to vent about what happened in Aiken. He reveals that when he threatened not to co-sign Kathryn’s lease, she became so distraught that she had to be hospitalized. Thomas worries about the risks of his son being born prematurely, and he’s ready to write his name on the bottom line. JD warns that his friend doesn’t need to fall prey to any manipulation on Kathryn’s part. T-Rav definitely believes he’s being manipulated, but he blames Jennifer for pulling the puppet strings. Ever since she wanted more from him after their drunken fling (Thomas’ words, not mine), she’s been instigating and doing her best to upset Kathryn by tracking his every move on social media and sharing it with Kathryn. Of course, if it’s on social media, can’t Kathryn find out about T-Rav’s shenanigans herself? The pair both seem rather adept at Twitter rants and Instagram shade.
Andy starts out reading one of Kathryn Dennis’s tweets from tonight to get Thomas’s thoughts on them. (see them all at the end of this post) The Tweet he read was, “I’ve heard a lot, I’ve read a lot. & I’ll only say this: Thomas knows what to do and what to stop doing to see his children.” Thomas plays dumb and says he doesn’t know what she’s referring to.
I no longer dread Mondays thanks to the dear cast members of Southern Charm. Whether they are unpacking wedding gifts in the eleventh hour to host a dinner party or channeling their inner Knight Rider to escape a polo match, there is something mesmerizing about this crew. That said, while I love the light-hearted friendships and silly situations, the darkness that is starting to overshadow the show is sad. These are real people. Y’all know that…you follow them on social media! Let’s get started with last night’s recap, shall we?
As the charmers prepare for another day in the Holy City, Craig Conover is channeling his inner Ryan Serhant with his monochromatic shirt and tie combo. He’s hoping to beat JD into the office because HashtagNewCraig is a go-getter. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose is facetiming with his mom and relishing in being a home owner. Not only is he glad to not be bunking at Sullivan’s with Whitney Sudler-Smith, the ladies dig his home ownership. It makes Shep look like he’s got his shiz together…and that’s going to be important if he expects the city’s Board of Architectural Review to green light an above-ground pool and bar on his roof.
As with every episode, the show begins with each charmer starting a new day in the Holy City. Negotiating a real estate contract reminds Cameran just how much she loves being a modern Southern woman. Her place doesn’t have to be in the kitchen (or in the nursery) – she can have a career! She just needs husband Jason to pick up an ink cartridge for the printer on his way home so she can commence with commerce. Scarlett O’Hara was also a modern Southern woman, but even she knew when to call in reinforcements. Cameran reveals that after two years of marriage, Jason is ready for a baby. Unfortunately, Cameran’s biological clock has yet to start ticking, but she’s building up to some mild domestication with a practice round–she’s planning a dinner party for her friends.
To quote my favorite now defunct VH1 show, Kathryn Dennis may be having the Best Week Ever. Not only did the unfiltered, controversial Southern Charm star look stunning on Monday’s Watch What Happens Live–I’ll refrain from commenting on all of the hair flipping, except for this sentence :), but she’s gaining support of fans who once just loved to hate her.
On the heels of this week’s Southern Charmpremiere, the mother of two-year-old Kensie and five-month-old St. Julien with on-again-off-again-WAY-OFF-AGAIN boyfriend and old school scoundrel (I mean that in the most charming of ways) Thomas Ravenel is opening up about the duo’s tumultuous relationship. And this time, she’s not airing her dirty laundry on various forms of social media with snarky tweets and passive aggressive status updates. Instead, Kathryn is articulately discussing why she and T-Rav just don’t work. Is our favorite little strumpet maturing into a force to be reckoned with? I’d say so!
Finally! Dear readers, our patience has paid off and last night we were rewarded with the start of the new season of Southern Charm. It was as if Christmas, my Pearl Harbor birthday, and my day job holiday bonus all came at the same time, except it’s not December, it’s April–and spring has sprung in a major way! It’s all there: Cameran Eubank’s hilarious one-liners, Shepard “Shep” Rose’s charming frat-tastic world views, Thomas Ravenel’s black-eye, Kathryn Dennis’ eyerolls (complete with false lashes and snark), Cooper Ray’s attempts at peace-keeping, Landon Clements’ transition from background sidekick to major player, Craig Conover’s return to the Holy City, Patricia Altshul’s gorgeous caftans (son Whitney Sudler-Smith was there, too). It was all perfect. Did I mention I got to watch it all at a wonderful premiere party at JD’s Sermets hosted by Cordially Cooper? Pinch me.
So that dinner party, right? Bravo has perfected the art of the hook with a minute-long tease of the finale. Move over, Camille Grammer, your Dinner Party from Hell has been replaced…tenfold. As we view the entire cast imploding over a meal at T-Rav’s downtown compound (did Thomas just remove Cameran from the premises? Are Shep and T-Rav going to come to blows?), we’re hit with the news that the start of the third season of Southern Charm is going to rewind three months to regale us with the build-up to the epic moment. Damn you, Bravo.