Say what you will about The Real Housewives Of New York, but these women (well, most of them) know how to bounce back from an argument within the time it takes to go from a main course to dessert. And Luann D’Agostino was a prime example of this whiplash-like behavior in Vermont, where the drama reached a crescendo at dinner and the sex talk reached new levels of raunch.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of New York was all about manners and anal sex – and who has which, or both, or – oh hell! I don’t know. I do know that Dorinda Medley has very strong opinions about it all, and the artist formerly known as Countess Luann de Lesseps [D’Agostino] gets caught in Dorinda’s crosshairs because of it – sort of. Alas, having used up all of her “CLIP! CLIIIIIIPPPP!”s for the week, Gangsta Do is forced to come up with new ways of saying, I think you’re a world class asswipe, m’lady! to her trip mate.
It seems everyone has survived their first night in Vermont. Bethenny Frankel locking Luann in the basement hasn’t actually killed the NEW BRIDE, so the ladies are free to indulge in avocado toast before hitting the slopes. While Ramona Singer brings her sister-wife, Sonja Morgan, coffee in bed, Bethenny apologizes to Tinsley Mortimer for being cold to her at dinner the previous night. She’s going through her own relationship hell, so she doesn’t need to be piling on anyone else about theirs. Tinsley feels slightly relieved that she’ll be attacked by one less Housewife on this trip, but she’s still generally overwhelmed (because that is her default setting).
Tinsley Mortimer’s been hanging around The Real Housewives Of New York for thirteen episodes, and all she has to show for it is some brown ice and a failed apartment hunt. But last night, the Bravo gods took pity/revenge on young Tinsley and threw her in the center of the drama. The true highlight, however, was Dorinda Medley putting her gangsta hat back on as she threw down with Sonja Morgan after Sonja accused her of secretly being involved in her doomed Tipsy Girl business venture last year! And I live all day, every day for Dorinda doing her weird-arm-angles-fingers-flying Back that sh*t up! rant in public.
We begin with Bethenny Frankel arriving at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx, where hopefully there’s a revolver duct taped to the toilet just in case. She wants the ladies (sans Ramona Singer) to get out of the city and experience carbs. Luann D’Agostino (are we officially calling her that now?), Carole Radziwill, Sonja, Dorinda, and Tinsley show up to take part in this social experiment. Because she’s always down for the cause, Dorinda even shows up already half in the bag.
Even though Bethenny Frankel was more focused on selling her apartment than hanging with her Real Housewives of New York costars last episode, she sure has a lot to say about everything that went down. Obviously she called out Ramona Singer for inviting Tom D’Agostino’s former flame to her party.
Bethenny also had a lot to say about the new girl Tinsley Mortimer, which is pretty surprising considering that she doesn’t have much a story line this season, but then again there’s pretty much nothing going on so far. Hopefully it picks up, but in the mean time, as her last name suggests, Bethenny has some surprisingly strong opinions about Tinsley’s return to the Big Apple.
To be honest, Tinsley Mortimer is in over her head with the Real Housewives of New York cast. She just seems way too nice and (relatively) normal to survive among the sharks. Then again, this season is so boring, it’s hard to judge how she would be on a RHONY season at its typical caliber.
During the last episode, Tinsley was (finally) looking around at apartments so she can move out of Sonja Morgan’s townhouse. Other than that, she had the misfortune of being cornered by Harry Dubin at Ramona Singer’s party. I have no idea why people are still inviting him to things, but he always brings the drama and it’s much-needed this season.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, Carole Radziwill and Dorinda Medley take it to the streets, heading to D.C. for the Women’s March, while back in NYC Ramona Singer shellacs her hair back in a tragic Blonde-Ambition-meets-Pinot-and-Ambien look and throws a party with the shadiest guest list she can summon. Ramona’s
informant friend Missy, who accused Tom D’Agostino of snogging her in a limo while concurrently being engaged to Luann De Lesseps, is resurrected from her UES cryogenic chamber for the evening to confront the recently married couple. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer continues planning her escape, and Sonja Morgan tries to understand what the hell Frenchie is saying.
We begin with Tinsley and Carole meeting for lunch, where they break Tinsley’s sad situation down: She’s living with an oppressive tyrant and needs to move out. Her mom is coming into town to help her apartment hunt, in fact. Carole and Tinsley were also invited to the Winter Botanical Garden, which solidified them as new “pals” in the social rags. It also helped Tinsley’s socialite comeback tour, which she still sadly imagines is real.
I don’t know about y’all, but the Countess has taught me everything I know about social graces. No, money really can’t buy you class. If she hadn’t shared that kernel of wisdom, I certainly wouldn’t have learned it from the bevy of reality stars that clog up my Bravo programming. Also, don’t be all uncool. Who wants to be uncool in the eyes of Luann
de Lesseps D’Agostino? Not this girl, that’s for sure!
As you know, the Real Housewives of New York star tied the knot to her controversial beau Tom D’Agostino on the latest episode, proving, yet again, that money doesn’t buy class, but it can cause a middle aged woman to turn a blind eye to said new husband’s blatant shenanigans by going through with a very elegant wedding ceremony. And, might I add, what we know about elegance is thanks to Luann. It’s learned, my friend. Now, I’m going to pour out some of my Ramona Singer pinot for the Countess, as she is no longer, but what a great ride it was.
After Ramona Singer unleashed on her in the Berkshires, Bethenny Frankel is steering clear of her Real Housewives Of New York cast mate – even when they’re stuck in the same dank, dark basement together. Otherwise known as Luann D’Agostino’s post-wedding party, designed to celebrate all of the a$$hats who made a mockery of her marriage.
Bethenny breaks down her thoughts on this week’s episode, which she says was certainly easier to live through than last. “Well, this week was a little lighter,” she comments. “If I can host a party where Dorinda Medley experiences ‘just the tip’ and Carole Radziwill swigs from a luge, then my holiday work is done.” Bethenny’s marketing and sales work is done too, I assume, as that holiday party obviously was one giant Skinnygirl commercial.