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Last night we were treated to a double dose of Sister Wives, but it wasn't really more of Kody Brown's lion mane.  TLC just gave us two thirty minute episodes instead of one hour-long program.  There's drama and Kody tears…it's not funny.  So why am I laughing as I type?  Perhaps because when I typed it, I didn't realize that Kody was crying over the loss of a dog…I am a horrible person.  I am so saddened that the Browns have to deal with putting down their twelve-year-old family member. 

On the first episode, the family meets to go over the different options for the homes.  Granite countertops?  Christine Brown is quick to pick her back splashes and cabinets, but Meri Brown and Robyn Sullivan Brown are slow to make a decision.  Meri is willing to get another job so she can have what she wants in the house.  Seriously, Meri?  You're too good for sliding glass doors?  She really isn't willing to budge on what she wants in her home even though she's over budget.  I love that Christine won't offer up any of her extra cash even though she comes in under budget.  I totally get that Meri shouldn't be punished budget wise just because she wasn't able to have more kids, but on the flip side, she should be thanking her lucky stars she's getting a ginormous home for herself while her sister wives will have kids doubling up in bedrooms.  I normally really like Meri, but she needs to get over herself.

Thanks Meri, for making me tear up by showing me an aging, sick dog.  It breaks my heart.  I'm such a dog person, and I've lost two dogs when I was growing up to old age, and one who was hit by a car as an adult.  I just let my four-legged child get up on the sofa with me to watch this show because all of this dog story line is so sad.  Meri and Kody call in all the children to say good-bye to Drake, and the kids are bawling crying and taking pictures with the sweet pooch. 

Over at Janelle Brown's house, it's time to hit the gym.  She is up at quarter till five in the morning, and she's heading to meet with her trainer.  I think it's very brave of Janelle to share her weight loss struggles.  Christine is very proud of her sister wife's dedication.  Janelle's trainer is is not only working on her body, but he's also trying to help her change her eating behavior.  She is very determined.

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The teens on last night's Sister Wives got a bit of a reality check.  Maddie, Logan, and Aspyn are volunteering for an organization that helps families who want to leave the polygamist lifestyle.  They are traveling back to Utah to paint a house for a family to move into after leaving the LDS community.  Kody Brown and his hair hope that Aspyn will remember that plural marriage is a good thing.  Christine isn't on board with this trip because she wonders if there are times when people are are "helped" when they really don't want to necessarily leave.

Kody and the wives are optimistic that the teens will remember how different their family is from the families they are about to see.  Maddie can't fathom the abuse that some people in plural marriages suffer, and Aspyn is worried that she won't be able to relate to the victims.  Right away they meet a polygamist escapee Kollene who readily admits she wants to take out some of her anger on the Browns.  Kody is upset that Warren Jeffs has painted his lifestyle in such a bad light. 

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Oh, Sister Wives!  Thank you so much for introducing me to the Dargers.  TLC, what do you say about a Darger spin-off?  Kody Brown would be livid!

We started last night with Kody going over plans for each of the four homes.  How are these people affording these homes?  The wives, except Janelle, are all getting totally greedy with their need for extra bedrooms and wet bars and offices.  I am predicting this season doesn't end well for the Browns.

After squaring away the blueprints, the family can look forward to their family vacation with some polygamist friends…because that's normal!  The Dargers aren't the same faith as the Browns.  Instead they are "independent polygamists" which must be some kind of code for dude who wanted to marry more than one lady.  Joe Darger married two women, Alina and Vicki, on the same day, one of whom looked to be about fourteen at the time, and then ten years later married Val who is Vicki's twin sister.  Talk about sharing everything!  I'm more than a tad skeezed out because not only will they actually be SISTER wives, the kids will be sibling-cousin hybrids…and among the three of them, there are twenty-three children.  The double marriage was arranged by Joe's mom.  Lovely.

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It seems that Kody Brown has gotten some sort of hairstyle/hairdo/haircut situation since last week's Sister Wives premiere.  His bowl-cut/mullet hybrid seems more tame.  Is he not watching these old home videos of himself that we're forced to watch?  He's actually not bad looking with shorter hair.  I don't know if I'll ever get over his mane situation.  Kody drones on and on about how many polygamists don't raise their children in such a public manner due to the stigma of the lifestyle.  Of course Kody wants to be front and center with each of his bazillion kids so they realize how strong the family bond is.  

Kody and his wives are heading to the high school for a parent(s)-teacher conference.  Oddly enough, they opt for the mini-van instead of Kody's convertible.  Strange.  The first meeting is with Mariah's Spanish teacher.  Mariah reminds us that she was inducted into the National Honor Society…last episode year.  A little editing problem there, TLC?  That would explain Kody's haircut.  Anyhoo, the Spanish teacher is meeting with three of the kids moms.  It's funny watching the wives pretend like they understand Spanish.  Christine thinks that Senora Hess is hot.  She would totally learn Spanish from her…and there is next season's story line–recruiting Senora Hess as the next wife.

Next, the women meet with the P.E. teacher.  While she's only teaching Aspyn this year, she had many of the daughters last year.  Aspyn likes to skip P.E. a lot, but she's making up the work to increase her grade.  Christine allows Aspyn to skip school a lot because she's such a good student.  That's good…it's totally like that in the work force too, so kudos to you Christine for preparing her for real life.  Meri admits that Mariah often tries to skip citing Chistine's lax nature with Aspyn, but Meri won't stand for it.  However, like Mariah, Aspyn also wants to be in a plural marriage like her parents.

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TLC promoted Breaking Amish as a show about five sheltered young adults, four Amish and one Mennonite, leaving their communities to experience life beyond the church. Millions tuned in to watch  Kate Stoltzfus, Abe Schmucker,  Rebecca Byler,  Jeremiah Raber,  and Sabrina High walk away from their family and friends to chase their dreams in New York. We felt sorry for these people for being exploited by TLC but the joke was on us! Almost immediately, Breaking Amish was proven to be a sham.

KateAbeRebeccaJeremiah, and Sabrina weren't as new to modern electronics, driving cars, and English clothes as they portrayed themselves to be on the show. For crying out loud, most of the cast had marriages, divorces, and children below their belts before TLC supposedly plucked them from the farm. However, there's no doubt in my mind that TLC knew all of this and coached them to "play Amish" for the sake of the cameras. I also think TLC hoped the viewers would figure it out, expose the cast's lies, and create a huge scandal. And that's exactly what happened. Does this bring us back to feeling sorry for the poor kids? For me, no, because most of them acted like jerks when their lies were exposed. 

Apparently, fake stories, liars, and misogynistic a**holes (looking at you, Jeremiah) sell, because Breaking Amish was a ratings success for TLC. There are rumors about a second season, but Kate reportedly doesn't want anything to do with Breaking Amish Season 2.

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Kody Brown and his Sister Wives are back, and the family seems to be feeling the strain of their Las Vegas move even more intensely than last season.  Even Kody's once fluffy, blonde mane is now straw-like with a dishwater hue.  Oh, the hairmanity!  Seriously, if I'm going to watch a show about a polygamist (and I do like watching, don't get me wrong), couldn't TLC have found one a little more Bradley Cooper and a little less Harry from Dumb and Dumber?

The family remembers how difficult the transition to Las Vegas was, especially for the older children.  There is definite tension on the sofa, that's for sure.  All of the wives blame being separated on the break down of their family unit.  The family is still trying to secure financing for their cul-de-sac village.  Christine is concerned that Robyn and Janelle's credit won't allow them to qualify for a loan.  If one of them can't get their home, no one will be able to move forward.

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TLC's Breaking Amish debuted with an interesting premise. Featuring four Amish, Kate, Jeremiah, Abe, and Rebecca, and one Mennonite, Sabrina, TLC promised, "a never-before-seen look inside the lives of young men and women as they, for the first time, trade horse and buggy with taxi cabs to break out from their respective Amish/Mennonite communities in their pursuit to chase big dreams in the Big Apple." Not long after its premiere, however, it became very clear that Breaking Amish should have been titled Faking Amish. Almost immediately, several blogs and Facebook pages popped up, detailing how TLC misrepresented the cast… complete with photo and public record evidence.

TLC addressed the allegations with this statement: "There is a lot of information floating around about the group featured on Breaking Amish. Much of it is not true, but some of it is — and is addressed in upcoming episodes.” Thus far, TLC's in-episode explanations have been incredibly lame. 

Yesterday, TLC announced a two-part Breaking Amish reunion special. According to the press release, the cast will "disclose where their relationships currently stand with their family and friends" and address the "questions about the authenticity of their Amish and Mennonite backgrounds.”

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Rosie O'Donnell recently declared her love for Alana Thompson and her family. I'll admit… I'm one of the few around here who compares Here Comes Honey Boo Boo to a train wreck. It doesn't feel right to watch it, but I cannot look away. I still do not know if the show gives me the warm fuzzies or the heebie jeebies. 

Rosie admitted Here Come Honey Boo Boo took some getting used to. "For the first 10 minutes, I was kinda stunned," Rosie said. "For the second 10 minutes, I was touched. And for the last 10 minutes I thought, this is really revolutionary TV in a way most people won't understand." Rosie was so enamored, she offered to buy the family a new house!

June Shannon finally responded to Rosie's offer. She told Rosie the same thing she told TLC – they love their house, railroad tracks and all. ​After acknowledging Rosie's kindness, June said, "We're not looking for a hand out, but we do want to renovate our house."

"We're in," Rosie told People in response to June's not-so-subtle hint. "Are you kidding me? Of course!"

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