Welcome back to Vanderpump Rules, where people miraculously age in reverse – but only in their personalities and maturity levels.
Despite our year-long hiatus, little has changed at SUR, the illustrious sur-vers and their counterparts. Kristen Doute and Stassi Schroeder are back in the full-time rotation, to reign supreme over the dysfunction, with Scheana Marie and Katie Maloney their tittering accomplices. Tom 2 is a mere accessory to their life of crime, the teeny dog shoved in a purse to nip and yap occasionally. And everybody still hates Lala Kent!
I don’t know guys – are we really in for another season of mean girls justifying their own behavior by calling the other person mean? It’s like Vanderpump Rules is just an audition for Real Housewives, a job Stassi presumably believes will be hers as soon as she convinces a Hollywood mogul, or rich business man to marry her. Maybe when Lala’s ‘boyfriend,’ the married guy with 35,022 kids who is passing out free Range Rovers on Halloween, ditches that wife of his Stassi can swoop right in?
Vanderpump Rules returns for its fifth season tonight. That means we’ve endured four seasons of binge drinking, bar fighting, cheating scandals, bad boyfriending, bad girlfriending, bad friending, b’atrocious fashions from bad employees who are slinging shots while slinging mud whilst trying Lisa Vanderpump‘s patience! But success tastes like a Pumptini after a long day at Bravo, so before we head into season five – which promises another wedding with another bad wedding gown – let’s refresh our drink-addled memories with a toast to all the craziness from last season!
Because as unrealistic as it is to imagine 30-something bartenders and waitresses who have not evolved at all in their lives and are still bickering over the same puerile topics, we’re all kinda obsessed with the show. Below is a rundown of Vanderpump Rules biggest dramas and scandals from season 4!
Whenever I watch Vanderpump Rules, I can’t help wondering how they always party so hard. I would love to see what it’s like going with the cast. I have no idea if I would actually survive, but I am genuinely curious. Well now people in New York City have a chance to go out with the SUR staff during a bar crawl.
Wait. What? This is a dream come true. I just keep flashing back to Season 1 when Jax Taylor showed up to an event and immediately took seven shots. There have been so many drunken antics on that show. I would die to be a part of or merely witness it all go down in person.
Brandi Glanville’spodcast is still going strong and today was one of my favorite days because whenever she has a Bravolebrity on, there is a whole lot of hot tea spillin’. The now-former Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent was on and the two of them dropped some crazy accusations and got VERY candid about a plethora of topics. Brandi revealed that Kim Richards‘ dog bit her twice, is pretty sure that most of the Pump Rules men are at least a little bit gay, and they both are pretty sure about drug use among the cast. Lala and Brandi didn’t hold back, so grab your popcorn and wine and unwind from your work week with some explosive quotes below!
Lala starts out by sharing that she did not finish out the upcoming season of Vanderpump Rules. “I did not finish the season. I can’t really tell you why I left, but I can tell you that I’m very happy that I did.” Brandi chimes in to say that she knows several of the cast members, not well, but then comments about Eddie’s indiscretions with Scheana Shay. “I shared my ex-husband with one of them, Scheana. She’s a whore.” Lala adds, “and she calls me the whore, so I’m a little confused.” Brandi continues, “I was at home pregnant and she was f***ing my husband on Tuesdays. And for her to say she didn’t know he was married? When you only get one night a week, how do you not know?”
Tom Sandoval has been slogging through the thick soup of drama on Vanderpump Rules since the very beginning, and he has come back to stir up more of it for season five! Tom shares that he and girlfriend Ariana Madix are feeling stronger than ever, though they’re still not ready to tie the knot. He also says viewers will be seeing a “new” Stassi Schroeder this season, as she tries her hand at adulting on camera.
Reflecting on how things shook out last season, Tom says he and Ariana tried to stay away from Kristen Doute above the fray as much as possible. “I really felt like we were in a good place as far as the rest of the group is concerned. We could kind of be as involved as we wanted to be, and no one could give us any shit about it; especially after last year.”