On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)
One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!
So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!
Reality stars out and about this week include Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval attending a Bar and Restaurant convention Vegas, Erika Jayne and Gleb Savchenko posing together after this week’s performance on Dancing with Stars and more.
Cynthia Bailey, Renee Graziano, Farrah Abraham and more attended WEtv’s premiere party for “Dr. Miami” at the Tuck Room in North Miami Beach.
It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…
First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong. Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.
I know that Kristen Doute has been a pretty polarizing character on Vanderpump Rules, but I have to say that I’m at this point where I think Kristen is the person who always keeps it real. She doesn’t try to look better than she is, she owns up to her mistakes, and she has no issue sharing all of her weirdness- like owning and wearing multiple fake engagement rings in public.
Kristen talked about dating, her relationship with James Kennedy and how it’s weirdly not-at-all weird that her current boyfriend Brian Carter slept with Katie Maloney. Not only that, Carter apparently has other ties to the group.
The biggest shock from the season finale of Vanderpump Rules was when Lisa Vanderpump approached Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz about opening up a bar with her and Ken Todd. Well, it actually makes total sense for Lisa to ask Sandoval since he has been working at SUR for a decade and he has been very reliable. On the other hand, Schwartz has never come through for Lisa professionally, so I can see why he would be scared to accept the offer.
At first, I was thinking to myself, “What are you doing? Just say yes! Who would pass up a chance to start a business with Lisa and Ken?!,” but the more I thought about it, the more I understood why Schwartz would be little bit scared to take on that level of responsibility.
Other than that, they had a spat over Ariana wanting to write a cocktail book without Tom. Tom was offended that Ariana didn’t include him in the project and she was offended that he felt like he was entitled to be her co-author. They got past the disagreement in one episode, but now they are actually working on the book together.
Everyone who watches Vanderpump Rules cannot help wondering about the identity of Lala Kent’s secret boyfriend. There are so many rumors about her being a sugar baby and dating a married man who might be a movie producer or an NFL player. I just wish she would post one photo on Instagram so we can stop guessing, but I get why she would want some privacy.
Still, I feel like having James Kennedy sign that nondisclosure agreement was a little much. Not only that, but I really can’t see James complying with those guidelines. Lala is adamant about keeping her man’s identity a secret, but she did share some key details recently.
It was a big night of commitment for our Schwartzy, the little commitment-phobe that couldn’t. In front of some of his family, and all of his friends, he said “I Do” to Katie Maloney, thus establishing himself Mr. Three-Headed-She Beast. Stassi Schroeder cried tears of pure vodka-poisoned joy that her two best friends were officially, legally soulmates, and then she made Katie swear on her eyeshadow collection that Stassi would always be a part of them. Like a stye?
It was actually a sweet ceremony. Courtesy of Tom, who drank the tequila-aid and suddenly found himself overjoyed to be standing at an altar next to Katie’s drapes of a wedding gown. Oof – that dress: a pair of nude pantyhose someone bedazzled; full body spanks that got Pinterested and sold on Etsy. It isn’t easy being country-cutsey-woodsy-glammy-chic on a budget!