For some odd reason Ariana Madix‘s blog isn’t posted on Bravo. Is it because in it the Vanderpump Rules star explains what really went on between Tom Sandoval and “Miami Girl” Annemarie Kunkel?
Tom was a guest on WWHL last Monday, where he proclaimed Bravo omitted much of the Miami story and didn’t give the behind-the-scenes details, Andy Cohen didn’t deny anything Tom said, and according to Ariana there were many, many things viewers weren’t privy too! Of course, the couple understands Bravo has a story to tell, and can’t include everything, but that doesn’t mean she has to keep quiet about it!
Thankfully Ariana wrote a very illuminating blog which she posted to her Tumblr where she snarks at Lisa Vanderpump, explains what we missed, and throws Kristen Doute some serious shade!
First on Stassi, Tom 1 has a “huge issue” with how she treated Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz. “She overstepped her boundaries of a friendship,” he says. “She took it too far but I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. I’ve known her for years and I’ve seen the way she handles situations—including when Jax was trying to get her back last season. She loved and relished in him groveling at her feet. It’s a common thing with Stassi.”
Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR.
So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama.
Tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is when all the crazy breaks free from its tenuous grip on sane-ish behavior and explodes. Kristen Doute has schemed and conspired to out Tom Sandoval as a cheater and the woman he supposedly cheated with in Miami will confront him on camera.
Way back when – in March of last year – Tom went to Miami with Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz where he allegedly hooked-up with AnnemarieKunkel, a self-described receptionist from NYC, (photo above) who claims she had no idea the boys were on reality TV. Poor Annemarie was so innocent and sweet, she then sold her hook-up story to a tabloid. Then, of course, she found Kristen on instagram to try and get some attention. Well, her hard work paid off!
Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her.
Kristen Doute‘s full-scale psychosis raised massively huge serious red flags on this week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules. Kristen attempts to explain herself by blaming everyone else and continues to spin more otherworldly delusion.
First of all Kristen insists Ariana Madix was doing mean things too! Like we’re all 6 and playing tattle-tale. How about stop stalking her and Ariana might stop giving you dirty looks?! “I won’t deny the occasional (and admittedly immature) dirty look or side comment towards Ariana, but we both played it the same way.”
“She says Jax would sleep with ‘anything’ as an attempt to insult me, but yet she’s dating my ex?” complains Kristen. “For someone who’s so above me, she certainly spends a lot of time talking about me. The victim game she was playing with her crocodile tears in the cab blew my mind. Are we watching the same show?“
Sometimes when I write these recaps I wish I had more time to ponder the happenings. I get myopic vision and tunnel in on certain ideas, then I read or see something else and it’s like: aha! How did I miss that? But alas, the world of blogging moves swiftly and there is no time for deep consideration about reality TV.
Tom Sandoval is permanently juggling two crazies at one time: his ex-girlfriend Kristen Doute and his betraying BFF Jax Taylor. You would think after all the years of enabling he’d have gotten a system down, but it turns out until recently the he hasn’t been standing up for himself, but now he is.
According to Tom 1, Jax, much like Stassi Schroeder, believes doesn’t understand that friendship works two-ways. “When I called Jax out about the San Diego girl, I was doing so because in the past — if and when Jax has ever had the smallest piece of dirt on Schwartz or I — he has embellished on it and then gone on to tell anyone with two ears,” the Vanderpump Rules star explained. “Then when confronted on this embellished dirt that he has had, he’s denied it to our face.”