I’m so tired of hearing about Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright‘s pathetic relationship. I’m so tired of it that I’m actually in agreement with Tom Sandoval on the matter: Brittany stupidly chose to stay with Jax knowing he’s a low-down, dirty scoundrel, so leave her alone to stew in her own Kentucky fried juices.
I personally think Brittany loooooves laying on that accent, thick as a beer cheese dipped chicken wing, and playing damsel in distress. Not to the guys – Jax already rescued her from a Hooters farm in ‘tucky – but to the girls on Vanderpump Rules. They see it as their responsibility to rescue Brittany. Maybe because those that can’t do a decent relationship, try to micromanage other’s disaster relationships. Or maybe they know they’re all a lost cause but sweet, innocent Brittany of the slow blinking My Little Pony eyes and Dr. Pepper flavored Bonne Belle chapstick – they can save her from the Jaxing that destroyed Stassi Schroeder and so many before (and during and after) her!
After a very rocky Season 5, things are going a lot better for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz this year on Vanderpump Rules. Just like everyone else in the cast, they’ve had their own drama to deal with, but that’s utter child’s play in comparison to past seasons with drink throwing, rings on strings, and rage texting.
Even with a significant dip in the Tom and Katie drama, there are other cast members coming through with the public fights this season. We were blessed with James Kennedy and Lala Kent screaming at each other, storming out of a restaurant, and continuing the argument on the sidewalk just because Lala ate some pasta.
I would give anything to witness the Housewives crossover that went down when Teresa Giudice, Carole Radziwill, and Brandi Glanville all took part in the same promotional event. Obviously, they all looked amazing, but I would love to know what they chatted about in between working. It seems like such a random grouping of people that I cannot help being interested in and entertained by.
Speaking of Teresa Giuidice, one of her most formidable opponents, Kim DePaola, the eternally infamous Kim D, hung out with Teresa’s estranged cousin Kathy Wakile… and made sure to photograph it, of course. When were these two ever friends? I can’t imagine Kathy wanted anything to do with Kim D when she orchestrated the Strippergate shenanigans back in the day. I imagine they got together to talk shit about Teresa and Melissa Gorga….or maybe I’m just getting dramatic and they just wanted to cause a stir by posing together for a social media post. If that’s the case, then mission accomplished. If they actually are legitimately friends with no ulterior motives, then color me shocked.
Remember in the beginning when the cast of Vanderpump Rules had actual goals? Future careers and the like into which they hoped to nestle once their debauched days at SUR (and their sex appeal) passed? Suddenly Jax Taylor is one of those people – those realists. Except now, instead of it being the right thing, it is oh-so very wrong. Because what of the future of bartending for life on reality TeeVee?
I personally think a spinoff in which Jax ventures out into the real world – getting up for work everyday, pulling his shit together, really working that reiki would be interesting. Apparently I am alone. Because friends before future, bro!
In the SURvile community of Vanderpumpian Forever Kids we are STILL celebrating Jax’s 308th birthday. The leprechaun of eternity has already danced his jig at Hooters, but now Brittany Cartwright, who is just so exasperating, has planned a group trip to Playa del Carmen. Play, play away forever young (at heart) in the Mexican sun. There’s two things wrong with this: 1) Jax doesn’t deserve it. He’s horrible to Brittany; 2) He doesn’t even want to go. Instead he wants to stay in LA and wallow in his midlife crisis. Especially in his reiki instructor’s arms.
With the Season 10 premiere of Real Housewives of New York on its way, expect more photos from the show’s stars on social media, just in time to get us all hyped up.
Tinsley Mortimer shared a photo with (most of) the cast by the water. Ramona Singer celebrated a friend’s bachelorette party. Dorinda Medley posted a selfie for her followers to enjoy. Sonja Morgan supported Luann de Lesseps’ healthy lifestyle change at a holistic health center. Is it April 4 yet? I need the Season 10 premiere and I need it now. Thankfully the stars are all posting on Instagram to satiate my need for RHONYcontent.
So of course Jeremy’s sister Ariana Madix and her man Tom Sandoval flipped out and stepped up in Jeremy’s defense. The editors also blessed us with some previously unseen footage of Jeremy hitting on Stassi at Tom Schwartzand Katie Maloney’swedding, which wasn’t the most flattering. Then again, if most of us were filmed mid-wedding reception, the footage wouldn’t be the most flattering.
I really hate it when I have to confront political or social quagmires in a reality show – like when last night’s Vanderpump Rules address the oh-so-prescient ‘me too’ movement (albeit without actually saying the words). Ironically, given the (well-deserved) criticism she took for her own attitude and statements about other women who came forward, it was Stassi Schroeder raising alarm and complaining about people always defending men.
The man in question is Ariana Madix‘s brother Jeremy. Jeremy asks Billie Lee out on a date, which she’s excited about, but when she shares the good news with Stassi and Kristen Doute their four-way flashers immediately go on. Kristen warns Billie to keep the date “in public” and Stassi says Jeremy is “creepy.” Stassi recounts that at Katie Maloney‘s wedding Jeremy was hitting on her – and everyone else – in a way that was frankly uncomfortable and camera footage reveals him grabbing Stassi in a bear hug while promising to leave her alone. And it was creepy! And uncomfortable.