Well that’s it – another season of Vanderpump Rules done and done! But the third part of the reunion ended with quite a bang when Scheana Marie‘s estranged husband Mike Shay appeared to say everything and nothing at all.
Good lord – the girls on this show are ridiculous! Like Katie Maloney, nothing is ever Scheana’s fault as she just demands, cries, and throws tantrums then blames everyone else. Tom 2 – consider Shay your warning; Robert Valleta – consider Tom 2 your warning.
Before we witness Scheana Marie collapse into a cloud of pressed powder, we have much ground to cover. While Andywasted time last week trying to make Stassi Schroeder‘s brother ‘happen,’ the reunion could have focused on all the drama between James Kennedy and Kristen Doute, or that time Tom 2 almost canceled his wedding while pooping in a wedding gown, as Tom 1 was crying in a Sia costume. Aaaaahhh… good times in New Orleans!
I will never stop watching Vanderpump Rules, but I do find myself missing the show’s early days. Those first couple of seasons were iconic. From Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder’s all-encompassing romantic relationship to single Jax “dating” multiple people at once, there was always something crazy happening in every single episode. I do still love this show, but there are plenty of things that I miss about the beginning of Vanderpump Rules.
I’m all for moving forward, but there are plenty of other things about the beginning of Pump Rules.
On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)
One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!
So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled parade of selfies and self-promotion for some Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles baby news.
Josh Altman shared the pic above on Instagram, adding, “The greatest day of my life. April 3rd at 4:55pm Heather and I welcomed our amazing baby girl Alexis Kerry Altman into the world. Weighing 7lbs and 20 inches long, this angel is absolutely perfect. To experience the birth of your child is such a mind blowing event that is greater than anything I can describe. I’m so happy and so proud of my wife for handling this like a champ. Life has definitely changed in an instant, and gazing into my baby girl’s eyes, I can tell you it got much better.”
The energy was high with Andy Cohen, Bethenny, and Jeff in the same room… shade was thrown, insults were hurled, and gossip was revealed. Oh and of course they talked about Luann de Lesseps and her marriage to Tom D’Agostino. Multiple times.
It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…
First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong. Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.
I know that Kristen Doute has been a pretty polarizing character on Vanderpump Rules, but I have to say that I’m at this point where I think Kristen is the person who always keeps it real. She doesn’t try to look better than she is, she owns up to her mistakes, and she has no issue sharing all of her weirdness- like owning and wearing multiple fake engagement rings in public.
Kristen talked about dating, her relationship with James Kennedy and how it’s weirdly not-at-all weird that her current boyfriend Brian Carter slept with Katie Maloney. Not only that, Carter apparently has other ties to the group.
Although I ended up crying for most of the Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney wedding episode of Vanderpump Rules, I never expected to feel that way. This season was full of drunken fighting and it was hard for me (and a lot of the other viewers) to get on board and feel invested in this couple.
A LOT of people hated on Katie throughout the season – she even had her Twitter account on private for a while – but after that finale, a lot more people from the fandom were down with the Schwartz marriage. Unfortunately for them, the reunion was taped way before that finale aired, so I bet that they had a ton of tough questions to answer from the viewers.