Top Chef

This week's "throwback" episode of Top Chef Seattle brings us drama, beef, a pair of pissed off glasses, a foot rub, a tightly wound mustache, mushrooms, and a double elimination.

Immediately following Kuniko Yagi's Turkeypocalypse elimination, John "my forehead needs glasses" Tesar disses Kuniko's raw potatoes. He says, "You can do potatoes in your sleep as a chef." John's negativity puts everyone on the defense.

C.J. Jacobson is like, Dude, why you gotta do this while we're pretending to be sad about Kuniko going home? John is like, She had five hours to taste those potatoes! And, by the way, you're full of s**t right now. Feeling left out in Seattle, Josh "my mustache is twisty" Valentine tells John that he doesn't have any tact, and then this happens:

Glasses: And Oklahoma has a lot of tact?

Mustache: You’re an a**hole.
 
Glasses: Thank you.
 
Mustache: Don’t f***ing say another word to me. There’s a reason you’re the most hated chef. It’s cause you’re a prigg. (does he say prigg or prick?)
 
Glasses: I’m not a prick. (Ah, prigg is Oklahoman for prick.. filing that away for future reference. John and Josh fail Communication 101.) I’m truthful.
 
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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the cheftestants' challenges revolved around regional ingredients. The episode was very fishy. Seattle chef Tom Douglas joined the judges' table inside the Space Needle.

Three past Top Chef competitors, Josie Smith-Malave (season 2), C.J. Jacobsen (season 3), and Stefan Richter (season 5), joined the competition. Sadly, Jeffrey Jew failed to impress the judges and was eliminated. 

Quickfire Challenge

The challenge: Create an authentic international dumpling. Working individually, each contestant must pick a country (Africa? It's a loose interpretation of "country," I guess), and then make the dough-wrapped ball of food associated with that country. Padma Lakshmi tells the chefs that they will be gifted five minutes with a Kindle Fire, the Top Chef product of the week, to research their dumpling. 
 
Dana Cowin, Editor-in-chief of Food & Wine Magazine, will judge the challenge. Dana explains that she will look to see how each chef handles a wrapper, stuffing, and sauce, adding that she has eaten her weight in dumplings. No pressure, but she knows her dumplings.
 
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What have I gotten myself into? Top Chef has brainwashed me; I need to procure a few GE Monogram appliances. Also, there are too. many. accents. this season. 
 
Last week, judges Tom Colicchio, Emeril Lagasse, Hugh Acheson, and Wolfgang Puck put the last of the Top Chef Seattle hopefuls through the ultimate chef test. The chefs who were deemed too salty, too sweaty, too full of themselves, and too boring for reality TV were eliminated. 
 
Season 10's cheftestants are Bart Vandaele, Brooke Williamson, Carla Pellegrino, Chrissy Camba, Danyele McPherson, Eliza Gavin, Jeffrey Jew, John Tesar, Josh Valentine, Kristen Kish, Kuniko Yagi, Lizzie Binder, Micah Fields, Sheldon Simeon, and Tyler Wiard
 
Alright, alright, alright! Padma Lakshmi is in the house, err, kitchen, and she's feisty. John decides to talk to his teammates while Padma is still dishing out instructions for the Quickfire challenge. She puts him in his place. Manners by Bravo lesson number one: don't talk over Padma. Standing beside Padma in a quiet and single-file line, as not to bring on Manners by Bravo lesson number two, are three past Top Chef contestants. Surprise! Josie Smith-Malave (season 2), C.J. Jacobsen (season 3), and Stefan Richter (season 5) will be the judges for the first blitzkrieg (okay, a little dramatic, but I love that word). Chrissy remembers Stefan; he's an evil villain who looks like a thumb. 
 
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Top Chef is back. Padma Lakshmi returns as host, and the series promises a "back to basics" season. Top Chef Season 10 will take us to Seattle. But, we're not actually in Seattle yet, because the judges still have some cheftestant fat to cut.

The remaining Top Chef Seattle hopefuls are broken up into four groups and must prove themselves to either Tom Colicchio, Emeril LagasseHugh Acheson, or Wolfgang Puck. The cheftestants will pour their hearts and souls (and, for some, sweat) into dinner prep, soups, omelets, and salads, and then the judges decide who moves on to Seattle. 

Head judge Tom Colicchio's team includes John Tesar, Elizabeth "Lizzie" Binder, Jorel Pierce, Micah Fields, and Anthony Gray.

John pimps himself as the "most hated chef in Dallas." Then, in case we're too dim to realize, he tells us that "hated" basically means "awesome."  John says he has a natural talent, and he's the best. Well, there you have it, Top Chef fans. Should we just call it a season and crown him the winner now? Eh, what fun would that be? Let's meet the other egos contestants. 

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Bringing you an all new photo post today!

Above we have Real Housewives of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi attending the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood party in Hollywood last night, along with a bevy of other reality stars.

We also have Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann attending the NBC Summer Press day event and Bethenny Frankel multitasking on the streets of NYC.

Below, you’ll also find Kim Kardashian, Aubrey O’Day, Katherine Jenkins, Adrienne Maloof, Padma Lakshmi, Kesha Nichols, Maria Menounos, and more!

[Photo credit: Nikki Nelson/WENN]

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We’re bringing you an all new mini photo post today!

Above: Kandi Burruss celebrates her new show “The Kandi Factory” at Gallery night club in Las Vegas.

Below: The Real Housewives of New York City stars Aviva Drescher, Sonja Morgan and Carole Radziwill attend the TV Land Awards; Dancing with the Stars contestant William Levy is on dad duty; Top Chef Padma Lakshmi and her daughter Krishna; Dancing with the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba, Kendra Wilkinson and more!

[Photo credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com]

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Our time with the approximately 15-week long commercial that was the ninth season of Top Chef ,is almost over. Next week, we’ll see our last two competitors battle it out for the $125,000 furnished by Healthy Choice, as Padma has lovingly reminded us in all the credits.

This week’s episode featured, what I think must be, the most crushing elimination of all, the one where you almost make it, but fall short, the bronze medal. While it must suck to be the first let go, at least no one remembers you. But here, we’ve watched the eliminated contestant for weeks, so we might feel some attachment.

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I apologize for the delay in this week’s Top Chef recap. That being said, here are my thoughts on this week’s Canadian journey.

Last week, Ed got sent home in a humiliating double loss of not only a chance at being in the finale, but also of a Prius. Sorry Ed, but canned or frozen food does not fly in the Top Chef kitchen.

We open this week with the gang meeting up in the parking lot of the Vancouver airport, all looking refreshed and like they’d finally had something to eat and drink, besides Shiner Bock and barbecue. Sarah talking-heads that she’ll be nice now, and that she’s a totally different person.

And then Beverly gets there. No one is especially mean to her, but it is awkward for Lindsay, Paul, and Sarah, who are war buddies, to even act warm towards Beverly. They pile into the Toyota, and Sarah immediately interrupts Beverly after Paul asks her about Last Chance Kitchen.

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