What is this world coming to? Seriously! I am quickly losing faith in humankind. First, Kim Kardashian gets engaged for a third time, and I have yet to rent space on my ring finger to any cubic zirconia, much less a fifteen carat diamond. Then, my love Pauly D goes and fathers a child behind my back (come to think of it, maybe my attraction to Pauly D has something to do with the caliber of guys I find who aren't proposing—and that's likely a good thing!), and now someone has just gone too far. TOO FAR!
You want to smash the pumpkin on my front porch? Go for it, you punk vandal. Your sticky fingers want to take more than your fair share of the candy I leave out on Halloween? Eat away, chubs! But do not, I repeat, DO NOT, defile all that is good and decent in the world…namely Duck Dynasty's Uncle Si Robertson!
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