Vanderpump Rules

Vanderpump Rules recap

It’s a cold day in L.A. before I take Scheana Marie‘s side about anything, but thanks to last night’s Vanderpump Rules that icy apocalypse has arrived.

Does anyone even understand what happened last night? It was essentially 30-year-old women playing drunken telephone as if bringing a stupid bridal party game to real life. Somehow, Stassi Schroeder took a situation that she was not a part of in any way, and through heresy, put her own special Stassi spin on it until it dildo-in-acid exploded on Scheana, soaking her in the bile of bad friendships and her own bad karma.

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Jax, Kristen, and Brittany

Wedding Bells continue to ring on Vanderpump Rules (hopefully not next season, though!) and Kristen Doute predicts the next couple to walk down the aisle with be Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright. Errrmmmm…

“I know that Brittany is the best thing that has ever happened to Jax. Brittany just knows how to handle him,” gushed Kristen. “There is no way Jax could be with anyone else.” Does she mean sexually?

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - NOVEMBER 03: Lala Kent attends Vanderpump Dogs Foundation Gala at Taglyan Cultural Complex on November 3, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Tasia Wells/Getty Images)

Lala Kent announced back in August that she had departed Vanderpump Rules mid-way through the season. Since her exit is going to be shown on an upcoming episode, she’s busy doing press about leaving the show. She addresses Jax Taylor‘s accusations that she was fired, reveals that her mystery guy is a pro athlete and explains why Spencer Pratt should join the show and more!

Now that she’s out of the picture, Lala thinks the cast will turn on Scheana Marie next. “I think Scheana’s gonna be the next victim to go down…Um, I just see her as someone who doesn’t really think for herself and, she’s kind of, and I hate saying this cause I really do like her, she’s just conflicted. So I feel she is kind of stupid and weak.”

Lala confronts James

There has been so much talk about LaLa Kent’s exit from Vanderpump Rules. To be honest it was kind of confusing since I heard SO many times that she was off the show, yet see her promoting it on her social media accounts and in interviews. Obviously she is not liked by most of her cast members, but I figured the controversy would be welcomed on the show. One of (the many) people who is happy to have LaLa off the show is Jax Taylor, who is adamant that LaLa was fired.

LaLa has done a lot of interviews about how she was done with the show, she had better things to do, she didn’t want to be in that environment, and whatever else she said was going on with her “career,” so it really did seem like she quit the show, but Jax says that she is lying. Imagine that: Jax calling someone else a liar. Talk about some credibility issues there.

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Stassi-Schroeder-Summer-House-Twins

The fact that Montauk residents are against Summer House is not at all surprising. I know the Bravo reality TV show has not even aired yet, but there were reports that people were annoyed when it was filming, so it was inevitable that they were going to be upset when the previews started to surface.

Obviously, there is going to be even more protest once Summer House episodes start airing on Bravo. The same thing happened with Jersey Shore and pretty much any reality show with a location that’s integral to its story lines and marketing. The irony is that all of the protests against these reality shows bring them even more attention and possibly increase viewers.

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Vanderpump Rules recap

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules celebrated Pride, but it was far from the jubilant affair it usually is in light of the Orlando nightclub shooting, which happened the day before.

I’m not sure how to write this recap for a couple reasons: 1) there was a lot of the usual f-ked up SUR drama surrounding Pride and the tragic events; and 2) Tom Sandoval made his ugly cry face but it seems wrong to make fun of it because he was crying about the Orlando tragedy. Conundrum. I also feel bad swooning over how glorious Peter looked. (Cause he did).

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DailyMail.com & Elite Daily Holiday Party

Booze, fools, tons of disasters – if that doesn’t perfectly describe Vanderpump Rules, I don’t know what does. Sadly, all that mess came about because Tom Schwartz decided to unwisely hook his malfunctioning penis to the wheel that’s Katie Maloney and everything spun very far out of control.

“It was a disaster. It was a beautiful mess. That’s how I describe this season, a beautiful disaster,” Tom warns. “It’s a blur in retrospect, but a lot happens.” Jax Taylor agrees, adding, “There’s some crazy stuff that happens.”

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Krisen Doute

Kristen Doute has had more than her fair share of haters throughout her time on Vanderpump Rules, but I cannot help loving every scene she appears in. Kristen was made for reality TV – she is beyond sure of herself in every aspect, she says random shit without any sign of prior thought, and she has no shame when it comes to the mistakes she makes in front of the cameras. Kristen even managed to stay on a show about waitresses at a restaurant even though she got fired from said restaurant.

For the most part, I very rarely agree with anything she says, but I cannot help laughing. This chick is unintentionally hilarious and it seems like she has no boundaries when it comes to conversation topics. In a recent interview, Kristen defended slut-shaming Lala Kent (yeah not a good look for her), talked about Stassi Schroeder’s diet of Adderall and Diet Dr. Pepper (not the best anecdote to share considering their recently renewed friendship), and bragged about being a social media stalking expert (a claim I 100% believe).

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