Vanderpump Rules has returned for the third season and while everyone insists the dynamic has changed, it sure doesn’t seem that way! Not. A. One of these people can get over their exes, no one can trust Jax Taylor, and Stassi Schroeder is in a new relationship that may be doing her wrong. One thing is different however – Lisa Vanderpump finally had to fire someone! And despite all the fighting, everyone can agree that none of this crazy is scripted – they’re all just truly that authentically insane!
Of course Lisa is thrilled by the “Fantastic!” new season (helllllloooo ratings!) “I’m very happy with it!” Lisa exclaims. However, someone didn’t recover from causing so much chaos. “One is missing now,” Lisa admits. “You’ll see how that plays out…,” Lisa quips to Access Hollywood. My bets are on Kristen Doute, of course! Or possibly Jax...
Speaking of which, Jax claims he’s happy for Stassi and has move on, but then slams her relationship to new boyfriend Patrick. “I don’t think she’s happy,” Jax reveals. “I think she’s really confused. I think she’s in a relationship that’s toxic right now.”
Tom 1 instantly denied the allegation, Ariana did as well, claiming that she knew all along this girl had hung out with Tom, and his co-stars Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz during a promotional trip in Miami. And that nothing went on, despite Kristen’s attempts. Kristen and Tom 1 are still together and still seem happy!
“I won’t name names, because that is not polite, but who are these weirdos talking to Scheana about Tom and I who don’t even know us?” Ariana wonders. “A conversation between Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 does not ‘hard proof’ make. ‘Texts to prove it’? I saw those texts months prior and I have more scandalous sounding conversations with my manager. ‘Selfies’? You mean one photo on a scooter at a gas station that was taken by Schwartz and sent to multiple people? Someone is using the ‘say something a bunch of times’ method of trying to make something true.”
Remember how last season on Vanderpump Rules everyone busted Kristen Doute‘s thongbutt for cheating on Tom 1? Well this season she’s accusing him of cheating on new girlfriend Ariana Madix. I dunno kids – it seems kinda transparent to me, like Kristen just wants Tom 1 all to herself and back in her thong-th-thong-thong-thong! (In case you’re wondering why I keep bringing up thongs, it’s cause Bravo gave us a lovely shot of Kristen’s thong butt).
This season everyone on VPR has undergone metamorphosis after the insane betrayals and they’ve grown. Except for Kristen. She’s stayed the same. Well, maybe she’s grown more crazy – we’ll wait on assessing that.
Kristen is supposedly madly in love with 22-year-old Baby Einstein (Slowstein? He ain’t sharp) DJ James Kennedy, who is trying awfully hard to get some attention on this here TeeVee thingy. First he tried to be besties with Tom 1, but when that didn’t get his pale, pastiness on camera, he decided screwing the desperate and maligned Kristen would have to suffice. Other than famewhoring, James enjoys BeamerSelfies. We’ll get to that later. So anyway, everyone has learned. Everyone has grown.
The Vanderpump Rules cast gathered last night to celebrate the upcoming premiere of their third season. Lisa Vanderpump and crew naturally gathered at the venue where all of the drama takes place: SUR.
The only cast member who appeared to be missing was Stassi Schroeder. This only fans my flames of speculation that she’s pregnant and trying hard to keep it under wraps until her spinoff is announced. You heard it here first.
Last night Life & Style held a party to celebrate their 10th anniversary and a slew of reality stars – past and present- turned out for the event.
The most shocking former celeb to see in attendance is the now-sort-of-reclusive Heidi Montag! And the biggest shock was that she’s almost looking like her old self again! Heidi reunited with some of her old Hills crew – Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari.
If you’re like me you simply can’t imagine Vanderpump Rules without its poster child mean girl villainess Stassi Schroeder. Reading the Regina George script to a tee, adding one part alcohol, one part really, really bad relationship judgment, and one-part plastic surgery to balance the whole thing out.
There were rumors that after last season Stassi was done with the show. She quit SUR and moved to NYC to be with new boyfriend Patrick and announced she was ready to move on, but once a famewhore, never reformed, right?! So of course she was brought back to stir up trouble!
The new grownup Stassi has moved on from the previous seasons’ antics. Stassi will not be working at SUR and describes herself as an “outsider” this season who didn’t participate in the majority of the mayhem. Although she will confirm that the third season, premiering November 3rd, has wrapped shooting.
Lisa Vanderpump will continue to wrangle the drama-laden SURvers as they simply cannot stop mixing business with pleasure! Tom Sandoval (Tom 1) has broken up with Kristen Doute, moved out, and is now happy with new love Ariana Madix, but Kristen continues to try and ruin Tom’s life by threatening to reveal secrets that could destroy his happiness.