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Vanderpump Rules

real-housewives-of-miami-reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and all but one show saw an increase in viewership this week. The sole loser? Let's just say Vanderpump doesn't Rule. 

The crazy popular Real Housewives of Atlanta and Love & Hip Hop drew even larger crowds this week. 3.337 million watched the girl code madness on RHOA, which is up 229,000 from last week. The messy relationship drama on L&HH attracted 3.361 million, which is an increase of 414,000. 

Season eight of Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered to over three million way back in June. Yes, June. Five months later, the season finale drew an audience of 2.33 million, making the season average 2.428 million viewers.

Malicious drama on the Real Housewives of Miami reunion attracted 1.074 million viewers. Part two of the reunion airs tonight on Bravo. 

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vpr-recap-jax-stassi

Stassi Schroeder is up to her same antics of systematically destroying everyone around her. Thankfully Vanderpump Rules favorite sociopath hasn't changed. Where are the proper authorities?

Last night Stassi cemented that Scheana Marie, briefly her friend, was once again her enemy. Stassi believes that Scheana is on an unrelenting quest to become her, to like BE Stassi. Which would mean Scheana also wants to be WITH Jax Taylor.

Speaking of Jax, I'd like to take an informal poll on how high we think his IQ is: 3? 8? Maybe 15 on a generous day? Despite being humiliated and constantly berated by Stassi he desperately wants her back. So desperately that he got a secret tattoo to prove his love. She maintains he isn't doing anything to earn her trust back except give her truly exceptional sex with lots of acrobatics and WWF maneuvers. #gag

Over at SUR things are still topsy-turvy. Strangely it's not decimating business so Lisa Vanderpump decides to install a new bar in the garden. With construction underway she now needs to find the perfect sexy bartender. Not Jax! Oh no – his crazy is old news slimy like fruit a couple days past the expiration date. Someone different… someone outside the incestuous cess pool. Someone like Katie Maloney's boyfriend Tom. Enter Tom 2. 

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Brandi Glanville Lisa Vanderpump

This season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the tables are turning for Lisa Vanderpump. Meaning no one likes her. Rumor had it the isolation and ostracization became so intense Lisa was threatening to quit the show! No amount of money could get me to hang out with Splits! 

Lisa heartily denies the rumor, insisting. “If I quit, you will hear the words right out of my mouth or I have been fired.”

Furthermore she doesn't even know what she would quit, even if she wanted to! "There are all these rumors but there is nothing to quit. We are not in production — they don’t even start production until next year,” Lisa explained to E! Online. 

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“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” season 4 and “Vanderpump Rules” season 2 Cross-over premiere

Well, I'd like to say Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville was drunk when she recently tweeted about Vanderpump Rules' Scheana Marie (I mean, is that really her name?), but the tweet was composed at 9:42 A.M. Of course, this is Brandi, and perhaps she was at a super early brunch with bottomless mimosas…

On Friday morning, Brandi tweeted, "I really wish a certain pare shapes bugged eyed "COCK" tail waitress would stop riding my coat tails." Yes, pare shapes. I wonder to whom Brandi could be referring? While Scheana seems to be the obvious target for Brandi's twitterhate, she's hardly using Brandi's celebrity to bolster her own–she doesn't need to. She has her tooth surgery story to garner attention. No, I'm serious. 

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real-housewives-of-atlanta-kenya-moore

The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in – and the Real Housewives of Atlanta are back with a bang! The season six premiere pulled in 3.108 million viewers. No doubt RHOA will remain Bravo's number one show.

Also on Sunday, Love & Hip Hop held onto its premiere audience with 2.947 million viewers.  Not so lucky were the Kardashians with only 1.948 million fans tuning in to Keeping Up with the Kardashians this week. So sad.

The Real Housewives of Miami aired both nights this week. Sunday night's show garnered 1.374 million (a season high) viewers. They can thank the ladies of Atlanta for that boost! The season three finale featuring Joanna and Romain's wedding was watched by 957,000 loyal fans.

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 2

Last night was the season premiere of Vanderpump RulesEveryone on this show needs a Lysol bath and a therapist for their narcissism.

Stassi Schroeder, Princess of Booze, Bitchiness, and Over-inflated Egos, has not changed one bit! She is now on a quest for world domination, something she plans to write the POTUS about. Stassi wants to make it a law that she has a pet zombie. I thought Jax Taylor was her pet zombie? 

Jax is still in loooourve with Stassi, but doing everything humanly (and zombie-ly) possible to screw it up. All Jax's groveling and begging her dad for forgiveness doesn't count if he's still planning on dipping his wick in the non-insane bitch ladies pool!

Other than JaxAssi acting JaxAssi-ish, Scheana Marie has gone full-fledged SWF nutty! Let's talk about her, shall we? In the off-season Scheana has devoted every moment of her life to worshipping Lisa Vanderpump and replacing Brandi as the object of Lisa's maternal affections. Can't Giggy have a baby already? Scheana has also decided Pandora is her BFF - and even better, they share a birthday. 

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 4

It's a big week for Brandi Glanville!  Not only does the new season Real Housewives of Beverly Hills return for a fourth season tonight, her new podcast "Brandi Glanville Unfiltered" makes its debut tomorrow!

Brandi is looking forward to her new venture and the chance to say whatever she wants (no bleeped cursing!) and is excited because a few of her celebrity friends who refused to be filmed for RHOBH have agreed to be guests on the podcast.  She shared in a press release “It’s great being the one who gets to ask the questions. We’re making the show entertaining, informative, fun and as spontaneous as possible, so you never know what someone is going to say next.”

PodcastOne CEO Norm Pattiz has faith in Brandi and feels she was born for this, sharing “Brandi is a natural, in every sense of the word. No thought goes unspoken and what you hear is who she is. She was born for this medium. We’re glad to have her at PodcastOne.”

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vanderpump rules cast photo

Last night was a dual reality TV series premiere party event.  Not only did the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills celebrate their season 4 kickoff, the Vanderpump Rules cast was also in the house to let loose and toast their season 2 premiere. 

Tom Sandoval, Kristen Doute, Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney, Scheana Marie, and Jax Taylor posed with mentor, matriarch and boss lady Lisa Vanderpump. Maybe Lisa requested a joint premiere for both shows since she seems to be on the outs with a majority of her RHOBH co-stars?   

Kudos to Stassi for livening up this sea of black and metallic with her bright blue number.

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