I’m running late today (as if that is not an affliction of everyday). I blame Kristen Doute. Or Jax Taylor – I truly vacillate between which one of the two is more whorerendous. See what I did there – it’s subtlety – which is something Vanderpump Rules is not known for. So let’s carry-on recapping this reunion.
Lots ‘o weird last night! Why Kristen’s makeup is suddenly making her look like a 48-year-old cougar? Perhaps it was sitting in the youthful glow of James Kennedy. Perhaps it was her dark soul emanating through her pores. You don’t believe me – it happened to Jax too. Take a look at season 1 Jax. Is that the same man you ask? I mean it could be… I wouldn’t put ‘zombie recreation Jax’ past the whodunits at Bravo.
Also, weird? Stassi Schroeder everything. So many unsaid things, so many allusions, so many not adding ups. We’re still dismantling the secrets of Tom 1 and Miami Girl; I don’t care – I want to know about the Super-Secret Life of Stassi Schroeder.
Vanderpump Rules is known for its shock value, but this season’s reunion will be the most shocking yet! Reflecting on the season and dishing on what to expect from the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix confirm the drama is intense, but surprisingly it didn’t get too ugly and most everyone kept it civil.
Ariana says that although Stassi Schroeder “wanted to” stage a big dramatic showdown and storm off stage, she didn’t! “It’s really surprising actually,” agrees Tom. “I’m surprised when Stassi came out, she didn’t storm off.”
On Monday, 1.55 million checked out the season finale of Vanderpump Rules, and a little over 1.3 million stuck around to see the season premiere of Shahs of Sunset. See the numbers below to see how the rest of the shows are doing.
Vanderpump Rules season 3 is coming to an end (WAAAAAH! – Don’t leave me!) and we’re counting down the Top 10 most dramatic, most insane, most eye-roll worthy, most delicious moments of the season. And then we’re gonna get the reunion which will surely blow all the other dramatic moments right out of the water!
“It’s my party and I can be immature if I want to, bitch if I want to – you would tell lies and ruin people’s lives too if it happened to you!” So that’s the theme song for Vanderpump Rules and singing it in a beautiful, lyrical duet with perfect harmonization are Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute.
Lisa Vanderpump is ready for the annual SUR Photoshoot. To celebrate the ten-year anniversary she decides on a 50’s greaser theme, shooting at the old-fashioned Pink Motel complete with a drained cement pool, a pink Cadillac, and a whole lotta Aqua Net on display.
I love the theme, and Lisa wearing a white t-shirt, red lips, and killer 50’s cat-eye shades like the Madame of the Pink Ladies was (aka, Rizzo, after she married a rich mobster and starting running Staten Island) was amazing.
Since Super Stylist Stassi was unavailable to style people she doesn’t like, Lisa had to go ahead and hire a real professional, who can like do her job, put personal differences aside, and recognize the importance of client relations.
Katie Maloney has seen her life undergo a lot of changes on this season of Vanderpump Rules. Her relationship to Tom Schwartz nearly crumbled over rings on strings and cheating scandals (that may or may not have happened), plus she saw her long-time BFF-hood to Stassi Schroeder fall apart.
Katie admits it was “definitely a big growing time,” and she’s happy to have learned some important lessons in the process about friendship, her personal values, and commitment.
According to Katiethings with Tom are “great” although the couple is still working out a few kinks! “Since the summer, when we finished filming, Tom changed his attitude and has come a long way,” she describes. “The mutual respect is back and I have restored my trust in him. [His cheating] is not a pattern.”
Just for the record, Kristen seems wasted in the video – you can see for yourself below – and is slurring her words something awful. And despite the fact that she claims to finally be over Tom, her euphoria when discussing the Miami Girl revelation tells otherwise, as does the flashback footage of her grinning when Jax “finally” spoke the truth. Get your pillows ready to hide your eyes – it’s cringe-inducing.