Patti Stanger and Jax Taylor were Andy’s guests last night on Watch What Happens Live and Patti was full of opinions on the Vanderpump Rules cast!
Patti gave Jax a lot of crap about not settling down and that it was too easy for him because women just throw themselves at him.
Andy shows Patti each of the Vanderpump Rules couples and asks her to give her thoughts on each. She thinks Schwartz and Katie are pretty good now and she thinks Katie could get him in check. On Tom and Ariana she says “Oh God, he cheated.” On Kristen and James she says “I can’t say what I really want to say. He’s for the other team, come on!” Andy is acting stunned that she’s getting a gay vibe from James. Patti says “My gaydar is gaydar, what can I say? I mean, GLAAD’s probably going to call me now.”
Last night on Vanderpump Rules there was a wedding instead of cheating drama! Scheana Marie got married and it had all the tackery and whinery one would expect. What one could not expect is that she spent approximately $100,000 on disco glitter and tantrums.
Things begin with Scheana visiting Lisa Vanderpump‘s house for a pre-wedding check-in. Lisa wants to know if Scheana is really in love with Shay, the lurking hulk of gooey melted gummy bears that is about to become her permanent bedmate. Scheana is – why, she couldn’t tell you. What Scheana CAN tell you is that the heart wants what the bride wants no matter what it costs! It is HER. DAY to be pretty princess for a change, to usurp Stassi Schroeder as the unequivocal self-dubbed princess in the big pouffy dress and have all the attention ON. HER.
Lisa wonders how Scheana is paying such extravagances as 5 sets of mink eyelashes and 50,000 rhinestone-studded rose pedals… Well, since you asked, Scheana is using her lawsuit settlement! BRAKES SCREECH… what, you say? Remember when Scheana broke her teeth and had to have 6 hours of agonizing dental surgery and no one visited her in the hospital? Well Scheana sued whomever broke her teeth and got a settlement, which she is blowing on her very own Barbie dream wedding!
Kristen Doute was fired from SUR and although she’s happy to be moving on, she admits she has some major regrets about this season of Vanderpump Rules which she refers to as “the worst!”
After involving herself in Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix‘s relationship to the point of unhealthy obsession and total stalking, Kristen insists she wasn’t as crazy as she appeared. Stating that she was still in love with Tom during filming, she describes,”At the time… I didn’t want to be with Tom – although it’s edited that way based on the things said – but at the time, we had only been broken for six months. For me that just wasn’t enough time, and he just moved on more quickly.”
Actually the Vanderpump Rules star admits she was ready to move on and although Lisa has never particularly liked her, Kritter will concede that Lisa has changed her life for the better and that her behavior was pretty inexcusable. Sort of.
“I do think that Lisa has a little bit of a vendetta against me. She doesn’t like me. We don’t get along. Our personalities just clash,” Kristen declares. “I think Lisa took some joy in doing it. I don’t think she would have had it any other way.”
Jax Taylor, the world’s biggest traitor, is hanging out poolside, grabbing cocktails with Kristen, who is reveling in her splendiforous outing of Tom Sandoval‘s cheating after she trotted Miami Girl, her used lip-plants, and Lee Press-On nails (Google the 80s for that ish!) up to the bar to confront Tom about the size of his peni (too small to warrant an “s”) and what exactly he was doing with it – not Kristen much to her dismay.
Since Kristen is happy and Tom 1 is sabotaged, she is kissing James. Meanwhile Jax looks like someone put something in his vodka – was he roofied?! He’d probably like that. He’s there with Carmen. who despite being dumped over pizza is sticking around for more camera time! She accuses Jax of texting 5 other girls, which was a rhetorical question, right? To prove his innocence Kristen grabs his phone and, oh look! there’s a text from some girl in Vegas that Tom 2 cheated with.
When Andy asks Tom if he blamesJax Taylor for the way things went down on tonight’s episode, with Jax outing him for cheating on Katie in Vegas, he admits that Jax certainly didn’t help his cause. He thinks maybe Jax did it on purpose, but he says, “I guess i don’t have anyone to blame but myself.”
On Kristen getting fired tonight, Tom says it was a long time coming. Andy says the celebration was crazy and he’s obsessed with the clip of the cooks in the SUR kitchen high fiving at the news.