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Vanderpump Rules

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With the insane season finale of Vanderpump Rules revealing a salacious "banging" and a ton of lies, Stassi Schroeder says that she fled the toxicity of SUR and moved to New York City where she now lives with her new boyfriend Patrick. 

Stassi shockingly expresses no desire to return to the show which made her mean girl ways infamous. Stassi no longer works at SUR, of course, and because duh! she's so much more special than just being the princess of cocktail slinging! 

"I just realized that my life was just so toxic. Like, everything was so toxic. No one was a good friend, besides Katie [Maloney], obviously," Stassi reveals to Hollywood Life about her decision to quit. "I just needed to take myself out of that environment. I can’t be a waitress forever. Come on, eventually we were all going to start moving on." That does not confirm that she's leaving reality TV behind!

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The reality TV viewer numbers are in – the Vanderpump Rules cast has a lot to celebrate this week! Pump Rules beat Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in the 18-49 demo three weeks in a row, and this week, the little train wreck that could beat RHOBH in total viewers as well. 1.917 million (a series high) tuned in to the season finale of Vanderpump Rules, whereas 1.914 million saw Carlton and Kyle face off on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Part one of the Love & Hip Hop reunion garnered 3.155 million viewers. L&HH is on target to finish season four with a three million (plus) average. Crazy!

On Tuesday, Teen Mom 2 won the night with 2.494 million viewers witnessing Jenelle walk out on her son, Jace. Again. Also, Shahs of Sunset's trip to the border of Iran garnered 1.349 million viewers,  and 2.025 million fans watched the Clash of the Cloes on Dance Moms.

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Aaaaahhhh Kristen Doute, one-part hoochie mama, one-part crazy, one-part atrociously bad employee, one-part drama queen, and one-part REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad decision maker! She's one helluva a potent Molotov cocktail! 

After spending an entire season (and I mean entire) of Vanderpump Rules fretting boyfriend Tom "1" Sandoval of cheating with co-worker Ariana Madix, Kristen, the little hypocrite that could, was caught in a cheating scandal of her own – with BFF Stassi Schroeder's ex-boyfriend Jax Taylor.

Of course Kristen denied it. A lot. Even when all evidence pointed to the contrary. But somebody called Sherlock and Law & Order style Kristen got cornered and confessed. Yep, the kitty is out of the bag: Kristen banged Jax – and liked it! 

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Just when you think the twists on Vanderpump Rules can't get any twistier – they do! Now the entire plotline is like one of those loop-de-loop straws where you go cross-eyed trying to watch the liquid wind through the twists and curves. It sure makes for exciting TV, though!

Things begin with the annual SUR photoshoot. The theme is always endless summer because what is SUR if it's not attractive near-naked people doing Vegas-y things, which is what everyone wants near their food.

Kristen Doute is not participating because she's practically fired for her antics last week and the week before and the week before… and basically since the land before time. Lisa Vanderpump really doesn't care if Kristen bangs Jax Taylor, but she better not bring her hoochie drama into Lisa's restaurant. Lisa has lines, and although those lines are twistier and blurry-er than a bendy straw, they are there. 

Lisa's other concern, besides Kristen's behavior, is Jax's lack of remorse over the entire thing. He's at the photoshoot flaunting his pecs and bragging about how the male modelizer is baaack baby! Not quite. True Fact: I remember seeing Jax in Vogue in days of yore. It sure is a shame that he has destroyed his looks. He should just get on with his inevitable destiny of marrying Lindsay Lohan and having some trainwreck reality show starring Dr. Drew Fakesy

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"Mostly, they bum around Los Angeles sleeping with each other’s partners, drinking too much and squabbling endlessly, but at the end of the day, they’re all just lost kids with failed dreams who work in the service industry and happen to be trailed by a production crew."

This line is from a recent Time article, and may I say that it's pure genius and totally accurate. That's right, we're getting high-brow up in here! The piece is on the crew from Vanderpump Rules and seeks to explain viewers' fascination with mean girl Stassi Schroeder, man whore Jax Taylor, and the rest of Lisa Vanderpump's attractive SUR minions. It's certainly my guilty pleasure and last night's finale was everything I hoped for and more!  

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Lisa Vanderpump fully admits that she's been trying to mother Brandi Glanville this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and she's not ashamed of it. 

During an appearance on WWHL, a caller asked Lisa if she thinks she mothers Brandi like she does the Sur staff.  Lisa confessed, "Guilty as charged. Absolutely.  I do feel Brandi was struggling and I really wanted to help her because I loved her."  

Andy asked Lisa if she knew it was bugging Brandi, "I did eventually. That's why I kind of backed off because I thought I was damned either way. But I did really care about her."  

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jax taylor tom sandoval towels

Lisa Vanderpump and Jax Taylor were Andy's guests tonight on Watch What Happens Live.  Jax shared that this was his first time watching the explosive season finale of Vanderpump Rules and he finally feels some remorse for sleeping with his best friend's girl. 

Lisa shared her take on tonight's episode, "I found it so disconcerting.  I'm so upset with him still. "  Andy asks if there's anything that he did or said that irritated her on tonight's episode, "Everything he said really pissed me off but the one thing is when he said 'you came twice sweetheart' to Kristen." Lisa proceeded to smash a breakaway bottle over Jax's head (Andy provided her with a box of them..).  "No remorse.  That's what I'm saying."

Jax shared that he DOES feel bad NOW.  "We watched the episode together and after seeing it and watching myself on there, it was hard to watch.  I really feel like a piece of shit."

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This week's reality TV viewer numbers are in – and we have some winners and some losers. The biggest loser, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, attracted just 1.727 million viewers this week. Catch a clue, Kris Jenner. We're OVER it. This week's winner?  Clearly baby Dylan!  Isn't he the cutest thing ever?  His show, Real Housewives of Atlanta, scored over 3.9 million viewers thanks to the much anticipated pajama party brawl.

The Sister Wives are totally winning. They're able to run their fingers through Kody's luscious locks every four days – AND a whopping 2.415 million tuned in this week.  That's nearly a million more viewers than last week!  Kris Jenner becomes wife number five in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Moving on to Monday,  Love & Hip Hop lost almost 400,000 viewers,  while Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules saw increases this week. 1.951 million sat through a raunchy pool party on RHOBH and 1.874 million couldn't resist a bitch slap on Pump Rules. Believe it or not, ratings wise, Vanderpump Rules has outshined RHOBH two weeks in a row now.

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