Last night’s Vanderpump Rules featured dueling birthday trips – one made no attempt to be classy and the other pretended to be something they’re not.
First up, Ariana Madixgrabbed the Toms and Jax Taylor for an RV trek around Sonoma Wine Country, which ground to a halt at a NASCAR track for wieners and wienies. The wienie being Tom 1 who whined and cried – in front of Ariana’s brother no less – that Ariana doesn’t find his man bun and overall short-alls attractive enough to f–k. The poor Toms – it seems they have something in common, in that their ladies would rather do anything but them.
The holidays are officially over, and as a reward for surviving the networks are bringing us new seasons of Celebrity Apprentice (with brand new host Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Teen Mom 2 season 8. There’s also an all-new episode of Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi admits she’s headed to Cabo with some of her castmates to be the “seventh wheel” on a couples trip, because she’s vowed to stay single for an entire year. She’s presently just ‘dating’ on many apps, which she hates.
Get your Tom + Katie tea towels ready to clean up the muck that has become Vanderpump Rules!
Recovering from Christmas and an ultimate cookie binge, the last thing I’m in the mood for is whining from Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. But, alas, I am nothing if not a consummate professional, so I have wrenched myself from the sluggish glut of a living room filled with wrapping paper (how many calories does wading through wrapping paper burn?) to complete this recap. Happy holidays! Katie just blew her life savings on $18.00 custom tea towels, and her life now consists of hatefully glaring at Tom Schwartz while folding said towels into cardboard boxes, wrapping the whole thing with twine, and mailing it. In case you were wondering wtf: that’s her wedding invite.
Jax Taylor goes under the knife again, this time to have some work done on his chest. Jax developed gynecomastia, which he blames on taking too many supplements. He wants to be clear that it’s not a “breast reduction” and says this condition is common with body builders.
On Christmas Day singer George Michael passed away suddenly and the world has been reeling over yet another shocking 2016 loss. Vanderpump Rules‘ star James Kennedy is taking this loss hard, since George Michael was his godfather.
James took to Instagram last night to mourn the loss. He shared this throwback photo of George giving him a giant stuffed Barney when he was a child. He captioned the picture with, “Rest In Peace George I’m heartbroken we never got to speak again after so many years, I can’t believe this has happened, please watch over me in heaven Godfather. Enjoy paradise I love you.”
It’s a real struggle for me to think of things that Kristen Doute and her former boss Lisa Vanderpump have in common. In fact, the only one I can think of is that they both have a strong love for animals. In fact, Kristen is now a doggie foster mom. Unfortunately, the good news ends there since Kristen’s dog Bowie is missing.
Kristen’s dog has been missing for about a day now and, as expected, she has been frantically searching for the dog all over the area and posting on social media.
A word of advice to every cast member of Vanderpump Rules: Stop with the day drinking, already! As we saw on this week’s installment of VPR, Stassi Schroeder would benefit greatly from a clear head when facing her imaginary rivals at surprise-not-surprise parties far and wide. And, according to Stassi’s commentary on last night’s episode – she agrees!
“Lesson 1: don’t agree to go up to ppl to ‘talk’ after 6 hours of drinking in the sun,” tweeted Stassi last night after witnessing her sloppy behavior on camera, adding, “Lesson 2: be fake so that I get a good edit.” So, which is it: drunk or fake? I’ll put my money on both!