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Vanderpump Rules

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Breaking news!  Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor was spotted wearing a sweater!  Kristen Doute and Tom Sandoval are in a healthy, thriving relationship! Okay, so maybe one of those statements is true, but really, how shocking is it to see Jax sporting a chunky cardigan?

Stassi Schroeder's ex is doing his best to move on while his former (I'm guessing from the previews of next week's episode) friend and his lady are bucking everyone's advice and opinions by staying in a co-dependent, tension filled relationship built on lies and distrust. Good times at SUR, right?

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The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of Atlanta wins again. 4.187 million viewers (compared to last week's record breaking 4.519) tuned in this week. For Love & Hip Hop, 3.112 million watched Joe propose to Tahiry, which is up from last week's 2.889.

The other reality shows are holding steady.  Sister Wives garnered 2 million viewers on Sunday. On Monday, 1.804 million viewers witnessed Brandi and Carlton's drunken pole dancing on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and 1.446 million watched Kristen get ridiculously drunk on Vanderpump Rules.

On Tuesday, 1.20 million viewers went to the Del Mar races with the Shahs of Sunset crowd, and 2.004 million fans tuned in to see the Dance Moms stress over Abby's first open audition.

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The Vanderpump Rules crew is still in Cabo celebrating our day of national reckoning; a day where dysfunction is recognized as a peril in great need of attention.

This day is also known as Stassi Schroeder's birthday. While in her mind this day is as important as the day of Jesus' birth, for the rest of humanity it is a day that we remain buried under our covers and asking where it all went so wrong. I blame her mother – it's always the mother's fault, right?!

Anyway things in Cabo are going bad, bad, bad because right in the middle of Stassi's birthday dinner, before anyone remember to order Stassi an appetizer or a drink, Katie Maloney and Tom 2 erupt into an argument about who's more of a moron. Can we call a draw?

Katie flees the table in what can only be described as a pair of pantyhose recycled into a dress. It was a flesh-colored poncho, it was frightful. Maybe it was flesh eating and that explains her sheer stupidity as her brain was a casualty of it's voraciousness. Also it matched her hair. 

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Celebrities Visit SiriusXM Studios - January 6, 2014

With the busy holidays behind us now, our favorite (and not so favorite) celebrities are slowly coming back out to grace us with their presence – on and off the red carpet.  Check out this week's photo roundup!

Carlton Gebbia stopped by the Sirius XM studio in NYC before she headed over to make an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.

Below you'll find Real Housewives of Atlanta's NeNe Leakes grabbing dinner out, Dancing with the Stars pros Derek Hough and Cheryl Burke hitting up red carpet events, and Porsha Stewart (who is now back to using Porsha Williams) dining out with friends in NYC.  Also spotted: Heidi Klum on the red carpet at the People's Choice Awards, and Vanderpump Rules star Katie Maloney (and her fabulously brunette-again hair).  Lisa Vanderpump was also snapped running errands in Beverly Hills, while Bethenny picked up Bryn from school in NYC and many more below!

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The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of Atlanta has blown us away!  A whopping  4.519 MILLION  viewers watched "A Trip Down Memory Lane" this week, which is a season high, a series high, and a franchise high. Bravo logged its most-watched night in network history. Everybody twirl!

Elsewhere on Sunday, 2.042 million sat through Kody and Brett's bromance on Sister Wives. Um, why? Is it the hair? The wives? Please enlighten me. ;)  

On Monday, Love & Hip Hop bounced back from last week's season low, with 2.889 million fans checking up on their favorite love triangles on VH1. Over on Bravo, both Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules lost viewers, with 1.826 million tuning in for even more Joyce and Brandi drama and 1.497 million suffering through Stassi's birthday.

On Tuesday,  1.189 million devoted Shahs of Sunset fans watched Mike and Reza's confrontation, and 2.171 million took a Tylenol after sitting through Abby Lee Miller's incessant yelling on Dance Moms

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After being mercilessly teased about her Carrot Top do, Katie Maloney has returned to her roots and gone brunette again. 

I'm not sure what on earth made the Vanderpump Rules star decide to orange it up, but it was sincerely one of the most unflattering and ridiculous dye jobs I've ever seen! Katie is a pretty girl and why she thought that was a good idea is beyond me. My theory she was trying to emulate BFF Stassi Schroeder or try to earn some distinction between herself and other totally insane brunette Kristen Doute!

Whatever the case, Katie shared photos of her new hair on instagram and she looks much better! In other news she is still together with Tom 2 after he tried to put her out like a fire. We need an intervention – for him. 

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 2

Yesterday we celebrated a day of extreme national significance. A day that brings attention to the very important cause of narcissism and immaturity. It was Stassi Schroeder's birthday and if I had a dollar for every time I heard that on Vanderpump Rules last night… 

Stassi has invited everyone she hates and semi-likes to celebrate her birthday. She invited Scheana Marie in the six seconds they liked each other, but now she regrets it. She did not invite Jax Taylor, so he invited himself. Hey – I'd invite myself on a Vacation by Bravo, too! 

Every 15 seconds Stassi gets out her bullhorn and police baton to announce its her birthday and demand people have fun her way or else she'll beat them. This continues throughout the entire episode… 

Before leaving, Lisa Vanderpump takes Peter Madrigal out for tea. Peter admits he's going on the trip for the free booze and for the opportunity to laugh at these people. And there will be girls in bikinis too. Lisa seems hesitant to let him go – her only decent employee! 

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It's time to round up the reality TV viewer numbers for the past two weeks! 

Ratings wise, Real Housewives of Atlanta was Sunday's top cable telecast, with 3.827 million fans tuning in for the Savannah trip. That's a new season high. 3.677 million watched last week's Chuck drama. Also on Sunday, Sister Wives returned this week, and 2.410 million couldn't resist Kody's charms

Love & Hip Hop returned after a two week break to a much smaller audience. Only 2.386 caught Erica Mena and Rich Dollaz discussing their relationship – that's down over 500,000 since early December and nearly a million since early November. Will it bounce back in January?

Both Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules slipped Christmas week, but they bounced back this week. Just over 2 million watched Brandi and Joyce's showdown on RHOBH. Their catty girl drama continued on Vanderpump Rules, resulting in a new season high (1.5) for the SUR crowd.

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