On Jax Taylor’s latest nose job: “I thought Jax got a new nose last year. How many snouts has he got? Mind you, he probably does need a new one. He probably wore the last one out sticking it into everybody else’s business.”
Last night was the premiere of Vanderpump Rules. I love this show! I love Tom 1 and Tom 2 on their rollerskates, reenacting Boogie Nights Returns: The Wind In My Perm: A Post-Porn Love Story To Decades Of Duos. I love that Scheana Marie Famewhore is now selling Sir Hubs A Lot up ish creek because all the spotlights in all the world need to be focused on her Madonna-adled fantasies (And Scheana ain’t no virgin – just ask Brandi Glanville!) And I love Kristen Doute being the new Stassi Schroeder; stomping around the outskirts of SUR, screaming about how mature she is now that she’s done with this waitressing thingie. T-shirt Lines are the new Statement Necklaces!
So let’s recap this bitch!
First things first, Jax Taylor is a plastic surgery addict, which means he’s gonna end up on Botched trying to undo his Bieber recreation makeover. Jax had had his THIRD nose job – this one to remove minuscule lumps that were a blight to his once perfect profile. He’s also got a nasty 6″ Frankenstein scar running down his forehead. Was he actually undergoing a lobotomy to forget his past as the premiere male supermodel and living incarnate of Zoolander?
Andy kicks off the show with a game – Never Have I Ever SUR Edition. Neither Jax nor Tom cops to taking money from the register or calling off work to go to the beach. They both admit to drinking on the job and asking a significant other to sneak food home. Only Jax drinks to stealing decor from any restaurant and hooking up with a customer during a shift. Does any of this surprise you?
To refresh your memory on everything that happened last season, plus give you a taste of what you’re in for, we’re recapping the craziest moments from season 3. In short: There was a whole lotta cheatin’ going on!
It’s almost time! The new season of Vanderpump Rules kicks off on Monday night and we cannot wait! Last night the Vanderpump Rules cast celebrated their fourth season with a party in West Hollywood and the whole crew turned out for it – even Giggy!
Vanderpump Rules starts next week! Vanderpump Rules starts next week! Vanderpump Rules starts next week! My excitement isn’t even going to be diminished by the unwelcome news that Stassi Schroeder is returning – ever after she promised we’d never see her surgically-altered face again. Alas, like a moth to a flame, a famewhore to Bravo.
This season Stassi returns to settle old scores and a major topic of conversation will be her sex tape. “You will see me talk about it and explain myself a lot in the coming season,” she promises.
STAR magazine held their ‘Scene Stealer’ celebration this weekend at the W Hollywood Rooftop and the reality TV stars were front and center. The event celebrated all of the stars that are ‘stealing the scene’ from Film, TV, Music and Fashion.
The Vanderpump Rules cast spilled some hot tea – they are currently filming for a new brand new special feature – the Vanderpump Rules After Show! It will be along the lines of The Walking Dead’s after-show The Talking Dead. Could be interesting to hear their thoughts and follow up info after the episodes air. Tom Sandoval shared that he’s working on a music video for a new song!