So, Love & Hip Hop has its own resident Kim Zolciak. Last night’s episode was hair-raising for sure! I’m not sure which is worse…the cheating men or the women who put up with them! Um, is this Chrissy woman trying to be the next Rashadah Ali with her horrible wigs? This frizz nightmare is so distracting…as is the side boob and sagging cleavage. She’s meeting with Cyn at a hookah bar so they can complain about the craziness that is Erica Mena. Cyn looks fabulous from the shoulders up, but her jean shorts just look like heavy diapers. Cyn shares that she’s been working on her vocals, and Chrissy suggests she enlist the help of Rich Dollaz for an album. Chrissy feels very diabolical at the idea of bringing together two of Erica’s exes.
By the skin of his teeth, Peter Gunz makes it back to the States from Barbados just as Amina Buddafly goes into labor. In the delivery room, Amina questions Peter about his trip. Now that Tara Wallace has basically told him to hit the road, Peter reveals that he’s spoken to Tara and he wants to make things work with Amina. He reveals he’s happy to have closure with Tara, but he isn’t ready to admit that he was with Tara in Barbados. He doesn’t want to stress out Amina any further. However, he tells Amina that Tara his ready to move on, so–Congratulations!–he’s ready to give more energy to their marriage. Of course, all Amina hears is Tara kicked him to the curb so she’s sloppy seconds, which is what she should have heard because it’s basically what he said.
Should the ladies of Mob Wives invest in some sort of vermin extermination business. They certainly hate rats would love nothing more than to get rid of all of them! Last night’s episode begins as Karen Gravano heads to Renee Graziano’s house and I’m terrified of Renee’s hat. The women are discussing Junior’s latest betrayal. Renee is appalled that her ex-husband has now turned in Big Ang’s cousin who may now face life in prison. She hates that she and AJ have to continue paying for Junior’s crimes. Even though she know Junior is a rat, Renee warns that her friends better not say as much as that is AJ’s father.
Speaking of rats, Drita D’Avanzo and Big Ang are ready to confront Natalie Guercio to find out once and for all if she’s a cop caller. At Nicole’s apartment, Drita and Ang are facing off against Natalie. Drita cuts right to the chase, and she tells Natalie about her encounter with Natalie 2.0. Both ladies are spitting mad about their hatred of rats. When Drita relays the story about Natalie allegedly calling the cops on her ex-boyfriend, Natalie admits to be a cop caller. She explains that the relationship was toxic, and she called the police when her ex got violent during a fight. Ang and Drita back track a bit, and they tell Natalie that being endangered is the only reason to call the police. Natalie wants new Natalie to say these rumors to her face. Drita agrees that it’s the best tactic. She’s season one Drita with all her big talk about punching people.
Oh, Love & Hip Hop! Anything for a story line, right? If this is how we’re going to play the entire season, I’m going to need Mona Scott Young to invest in some serious acting classes for Diamond Strawberry. She is far from believable. She’s anticipating (and responding) to Cisco’s baby mama drama before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Last night’s episode begins with Diamond flipping out over the news that Cisco has a six month old child with his other child’s mother when he and Diamond have “been together for two years.” He defends his baby mama to her outcries of “that ho” and “that b!tch,” but he feels horrible to upset Diamond at her own party. Diamond can’t believe this turn of events. Doesn’t he know she left her friends and family back in L.A. to make this work? By God, her daughter misses her. No one feels badly for you stupid decision to move away from your child for some cheating man, honey.
Peter Gunz is still walking a fine line between Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace. Peter shares that he’s been tapped to be the face of a new energy drink, and they need him to fly to Trinidad for a photo shoot. I think he meant to say he was taking a family vacation to Barbados with Tara and his boys. Amina is floored that he could possibly miss the birth of their child. She is, after all, due in two weeks. Peter guarantees that he won’t miss the birth unless there’s a hurricane. He guilts her by saying that now more than ever they need the money. I wonder what’s going to happen when she finds out he’s spending money on Tara instead of making it. He feels bad lying to his wife, but a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do, right?
Wow. Last night’s Mob Wives was like something out of the cartoon movie The Secret of NIHM. Am I aging myself? Probably. But gracious! Both have a lot of rats! It begins with Big Ang and Renee Graziano hashing out their issues, but Ang has invited a surprise guest. It’s Darryl Hannah from Splash! Sure, she’s a little older and she’s wearing a suit, but the hair is the same! Renee tries to raise an eyebrow (damn, Botox!). She has no issues with Victoria Gotti, but the Gottis and Karen Gravano’s family have beef. Renee wonders why Ang would invite Victoria knowing that her loyalties lie with biffle Karen. Ang is hoping that Victoria and Renee’s past will make Renee listen to what she has to say. Immediately, Renee wants to know Victoria’s opinion on outsiders. “Hate ‘em.” Check!
Renee feels like she may have an ally and tells Victoria that an slime ball outsider is slandering her all over the Twitterverse, yet Ang stays friends with her. Ang reminds Renee that she’s the one who brought Natalie Guercio into the group. Ang doesn’t have issues or drama with friends. In fact, Renee is the only one of her friends who consistently decides to hate people. It’s exhausting. Renee babbles on about loyalty, but Ang wonders why they can’t just be ladies and not gangsters. Victoria sees Renee’s point (Renee is so excited to think that Ang’s plan has backfired). Ang brings up the fact that Renee has disrespected her family and also called her a clown. Victoria reminds the women that they are closer than friends…they are family. She should get her own therapy themed reality show. I’m kidding, VH1! Don’t even!
So who wants to place bets on whether Love & Hip Hop becomes more believable in 2015? As if! I am so far over the messy love triangle of Amina Buddafly, Peter Gunz and Tara Wallace. And, lesbihonest, there is nothing genuine about Erica Mena’s relationship with Cyn…except perhaps a fondness of Chipotle. Even the extremely likableYandy Smith is making me yawn with her tired story line regarding recently released from prison’s Mendeecees Harris. I think the only thing that is remotely real is the lack of Diamond Strawberry’s maternal skills.
Last night’s episode begins with Amina confronting Peter, Tara, and their kids after he stood her up on date night. She’s sobbing over the fact that her husband keeps sneaking around on her with his ex, and he’s yelling that she shouldn’t have come into the restaurant knowing he was with his kids. When Amina sits on the curb to cry, the always classy Peter stomps off embarrassed. Tara decides to go comfort Amina, and Tara tries to explain that Peter is a part of her family. Amina begs her to just take Peter back instead of continuing to make a fool out of her. Where do these people come from? Idiots, every last one of them! Tara then walks a grateful Amina to her car.
I don’t know about y’all, but I think this season of Love & Hip Hop is one of the most authentic and real examples of VH1’s reality show offerings. The Peter Gunz/Amina Buddafly/Tara Wallace love triangle? Totally believable! The relationship between Cisco and Diamond Strawberry? It’s the epitome of true romance! And Chrissy? Talk about the ultimate business woman! Mona, you have truly outdone yourself this time! Last night’s episode reconvenes with Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris fixin’ to get hitched in Vegas…except that Yandy just can’t do it. She tearfully explains her desire for a big wedding with family to the officiant, and Mendeecees seconds her assertions as the poor officiant cheerfully nods in the background. I never saw that coming! I truly thought they would be man and wife after last night. Meanwhile, Amina is working on a new album with her sister who is in town from Germany. I feel like the only thing genuine about this show is the talent. You know I’m right! Amina admits that she doesn’t really trust Peter and that he’s not around often.
Erica Mean and Cyn are starting a business together, but Cyn is more involved with her girlfriend’s Instagram drama with Chrissy. Cyn isn’t buying Erica’s elusive attitude when it comes to why Chrissy is coming for her on social media. Speaking of being elusive, Diamond has finally arrived in New York, but Cisco isn’t quite ready to open his home to his new girlfriend. Instead, he’s found a friend who will let her crash at her place. No worries, though. He’ll be by to visit. That seems reasonable.
Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all!
As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.
So last night was the return of Love & Hip Hop. Some old favorites returned (along with some of the more unsavory characters) along with a new crew. Joe Budden is gone (at least for now). I’m not sure how I feel about this! I am happy that Mendeecees is out on bail, and Yandy Smith is over the moon to have her fiance back in the free world. Speaking of couples, Erica Mena and Cyn are back together and sharing Chipotle (at least for now). Erica’s even made her breakfast in bed in hopes of convincing her to co-habitate. Cyn is still a bit jealous over Erica’s recent on-air kiss with Lil’ Bow Wow…little does she know! Peter Gunz and Amina Buddafly are back together and expecting a baby girl. Amina is still blinded by love and stupidity for still being with this jack leg. At the ultrasound he mistakes the baby’s leg for a “giant penis” just like his. Good gracious. Amina questions Peter’s recent outings with his sons…he drops his son off at school and then doesn’t return until late at night. #redflag
We meet Diamond Strawberry, and she’s an aspiring model. Oh, and she’s also the daughter of famed baseball player Darryl Strawberry. Diamond wants to pursue her dreams in New York (how else is she going to be on this franchise), but her Los Angeles based family is less than supportive. It’s a sudden and drastic move (per Diamond), but she’s hoping it will bring her closer to her music producer boyfriend Cisco. Cut to Cisco who is in town to wine and dine Diamond and talking about his hustle and his connections. The couple complains about how difficult their long distance relationship is, and Diamond is happy to move to New York after dating for two years. Wait what? Cisco likes the status quo. Sure, Diamond is his one and only…when he’s with her in L.A., but he’s enlisted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” clause in their relationship, and he needs Diamond to abide…and stay on the West Coast.