I don't know about you, but I've been waiting with baited breath for Jackie Christie's line to debut at New York Fashion Week. Can you even fathom the insanity that is going to head down that runway. Well, on last night's Basketball Wives LA, the ladies let it all hang out while working that catwalk. Apparently Jackie's line doesn't include a bra big enough to tame Brooke Bailey's giant chest, so she commandos it down the runway. Laura Govan follows in braless suit, but she's thankfully not about to put out her own eye…or anyone else's. But we'll get to that later…
Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are trying on Jackie's fashions for the show. Draya is beyond impressed with Jackie's pieces. Why doesn't she wear these kind of clothes in her real life? Brooke invites the women to a business deal, but she makes sure to get in a dig to Draya about the magazine cover shoot. Draya can't cover up her jealousy. Gloria Govan and Brooke are walking in another show, and Draya, Laura, Jackie, and Malaysia are going to be be supportive. Draya is confused as to why Jackie and Laura are being so buddy-buddy. Jackie wishes that Draya would stop butting into her and Laura's friendship. Laura thinks it's funny that people are concerned about her behavior towards Jackie. Her master plan isn't going to go down at a fashion show where she's supporting actual friends!
Brooke takes the catwalk…or the slim slice of floor not overrun by revelers looking like a poor man's Nicki Minaj. I'm sorry, but that wig is all kinds of unfortunate. Gloria follows suit and she's dressed in the outfit that Hello Kitty would wear if she ever decided to be a construction worker. Backstage, the women are being supportive of the models, but Draya backs out on a dinner celebration to honor Brooke's magazine cover. Draya feels like she's being a good friend by not going to the dinner where she'd be sure to be a pouty Debbie Downer. At Brooke's celebration, the other women wonder about Draya's absence, but Malaysia tries to play devil's advocate on Draya's behalf.
This November, I am thankful for Basketball Wives: LA. Seriously. They make me feel a wee bit better about my life. I may not have money or reality fame, but at least I've got great friends and family and don't look like a fool week after week for the whole world to see. That is definitely something for which to give thanks!
Once again, last night's episode was the Jackie Christie show, and I have to wonder why she doesn't just get a spin-off already! Fortunately for the viewers, the ladies seem to have veered from their whole meet for lunch/drinks/dinner/canyon/walks/cat fights premise. Sorry, I couldn't even type that with a straight face. We begin with Jackie meeting Gloria Govan for lunch to discuss Laura Govan's recent behavior. Jackie needs to get her personal life sorted out so the drama doesn't interfere with the most important thing in her life–her daugters New York Fashion Week. I am still shocked that she has a show. Are we sure this is New York City Fashion Week? In Manhattan? Perhaps it could be New York Missouri Proper Fashion Week? Jackie reveals that Malaysia Pargo will be walking in her show, and she had planned to ask Draya Michele as well. Gloria is confused. Doesn't Jackie hate Draya? Gloria is too involved in her webisodes. Jackie decides to vent about Laura to her sister, and Gloria totally flakes. Jackie knows Gloria is the mouthpiece for the group, but she hopes Gloria will be nice when she sees Jackie's clothing line.
Malaysia and Bambi are returning to volunteer with Educated Ballers. They have two high school girls they are going to mentor. Well, this is a refreshing change if we have to see a "meet up" with the women. Malaysia wonders if the girls would like to work in fashion. One girl would like to be a social worker while the other would like to work in a correctional facility. They are going to be roommates when college starts in the fall. I must say that both Bambi and Malaysia are good at talking to the girls without talking down to them. Malaysia is inspired. She wants their next vacation to be a volunteer endeavor, like building houses in New Orleans.
Oh my. This is good. I mean, when I say this is good, y'all, this. Is. Good. It speaks volumes to the characters of the women from the original Basketball Wives. VOLUMES! As you know, Shaunie "Nostrils" O'Neal, after a face-saving attempt to seek counseling from her pastor at the end of last season to end the show's violent ways, is bringing back her two explosive, bullying best friends Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman.
Evelyn and Tami want to use the fifth season for redemption after all of their heinous behavior in seasons past. Well, they are off to a great start, I tell you! The two ladies are hoping to revamp their images, and Shaunie and Suzie "Both Sides of her Mouth" Ketcham are also along for the ride. Guess how the four ladies are planning to show that they've changed for the better?? Why, they're planning a walk out if they don't get their salaries hiked! They truly have changed.
Another day, another Basketball Wives LA casting rumor! Seeing as Shaunie "Nostrils" O'Neal has several spots to fill, I'm sure it won't be the last gossip we hear about women who may be making an appearance. We've heard multiple things about a casting shake-up among the ladies, with the most recent being that only Jackie Christie and Draya Michele will be returning. That should be entertaining to watch…of course, anything would be more entertaining than the current season! It's now being speculated that Karrine Steffans will be joining the as yet unknown cast. She better prepare herself though…we all know the newbies never last. She needs to get on boss Jackie's good side fast.
I don't know about y'all, but I predict that two seasons from now, this show will actually become The Jackie Christie Show, name change and all. If I'm right, mark my words, the entire season will be vow renewals, Jackie dressing in slutty pirate Halloween costumes for family gatherings, and her participating in poetry slams. The poetry slam part is key, given that she won't have any other cast mates with which to interact. In all honesty, I would much rather watch Wacky Jackie in beret doing beatnik spoken word open mic nights than watch these ladies continue to meet up for coffee/lunch/cocktails/martial arts. Am I the only one?
Last night’s Basketball Wives LA was no different from anything we’ve seen this season thus far. I am just waiting (as I’m sure you are) for some kind of shocking revelation or a giant shoe to drop. We all know Jackie Christie is going to continue to be the focus of the show. Heck, even Laura Govan’s evil ways are starting to lose their drama. What are we to do, VH1?
Laura is meeting Jackie’s daughter Chantel. Chantel tells Laura that Jackie warned her about meeting with her given Jackie thinks Laura has bad intentions. Chantel couldn’t care less. She knows her mother is fame hungry and only cares about appearance. Laura starts to regret her plan to intervene, but then she brings up Chantel’s sister as being too black. Jackie tried to pit her daughters against one another. Growing up, the girls couldn’t even speak because of the things that her mother instilled in them. Chantel felt that she was the placed in a situation as a younger sister where she shouldn’t have been. Laura is in over her head. She just wanted beef against Jackie…she didn’t expect to get a horrid family situation like she did.
Malaysia Pargo, Brooke Bailey, and Laura meet for froyo. Laura and Malaysia share their trip to Seattle with Jackie. Laura tells Brooke that Jackie was calling her oldest daughter too dark and overweight. Malaysia revisits Brooke and Bambi’s rift and hopes that they can make amends at an upcoming 80’s roller skating event.
I never thought I'd be Team Silex about anything, and I mean ANYTHING. However, when you have to choose between somewhat creepy Silex and uber-creepy Dourtney, what else can you do but side with former Real Housewives of New YorkstarsAlex McCord and Simon van Kempen? Of course, I'm talking about a feud that started out on VH1's Couples Therapy, so perhaps that is where I first went astray. I am addicted to this insanity, and I'm not proud of it.
Joining Silex in the therapy sessions, at least up until a week or so ago, was everyone's favorite May-December romantics 52-year-old "actor" Doug Hutchison and his 18-year-old wife Courtney Stodden. I don't have to tell y'all that she was sixteen when the pair married and seventeen when Couples Therapy filmed. Due to child labor laws, Courtney wasn't allowed to film as much as the grown-ups and couldn't stay in a bedroom with her hubby.
If you've been tuning into the train wreck (and I know you secretly have!), you know that Courtney's parade of bikini tops as shirts, Lucite stripper platforms, and belts that she tried to pass off as skirts had the other couples up in arms. Her wardrobe was deemed a major distraction, and Dr. Jenn imposed a strict dress code. Courtney was forced to wear things that covered her belly and didn't flash her bits. The passive aggressive Courtney adhered to this dress code for one day, although she clearly shopped for her conservative clothing at Hoochies 'R Us. From that point, things continued to go down hill for Dourtney. No amount of gum smacking, eye rolling, or hair twirling could save them!
The show begins with Chantal and Takari being ambushed by the therapist. Takari is in tears, and Chantal reminds her mother that while she provided everything for her girls, it was their grandmother who served as the mother figure. Jackie doesn't want to hear any of it. Chantal wants her mother to take responsibility for their past relationships, but Jackie is totally on the defensive. She thinks her daughters are being mean and throwing false accusations at her. The girls leave after Jackie refuses to shoulder any of the blame for their relationship troubles. Doug tries to placate the girls in the driveway, but they are both over trying to make things work with someone who won't acknowledge any mistakes. Back inside, Jackie apologizes to the therapist for having to listen to her disrespectful daughters spew lies. The therapist is smart enough to know that she just needs to keep her mouth shut. Could Jackie be any more delusional?
Brooke is waiting on Gloria Govan to meet her for lunch when she reads that Matt Barnes is in trouble with the law for his multiple traffic violations. She calls Gloria who won't be able to make it to lunch…which I guess is a good thing given that there's a half-eaten pizza in front of Brooke. She clearly wasn't waiting.
Those crazy ladies who spend their days threatening to cut one another, visiting their husbands and boyfriends in jail, and ruling the streets of Staten Island have started filming a new season of the original Mob Wives. However, like many on the east coast, Drita D'Avanzo, Big Ang, Carla Facciolo, Karen Gravano, Renee Graziano, and Ramona Rizzo were affected by Hurricane Sandy, and production of the show was recently shut down due to the super storm.
In the aftermath of the storm that killed twenty-two people on Staten Island, the show's producer Jennifer Graziano wants to show how the ladies are coping and volunteering in their home town. After a week out of commission, cameras started following Big Ang, Drita, and Ramona as they headed out after Sandy.