Ok, it’s that time again! Reality Tea’s Booze ‘N Books Club! With zillions of reality stars – and new ones popping up every second – and each one with something to sell, we here at Reality Tea decided to test out some of these fetes of literary greatness. And what goes better with books that are badly written than cocktails? So we thought we’d try something fun and review some of these gems!
Each month Reality Tea will be reviewing both a book and a cocktail. Last month we reviewed Teresa Giudice‘s third cookbook, Fabulicious: Fast & Fit and her Fabellini Cocktail. While the recipes and igredences in the cookbook were pretty good, the cocktail had me reminiscing about college memories slurping up the Boone’s Farm in a frat house. I was a classy girl, alright.
This month we’re honoring the OG of the Housewives franchises, Vicki Gunvalson and taking a look-see through her self-help/memoir More Than A Housewife: Talent! Purpose! Direction! Drive! Yep, that’s the title in its entirety. The Real Housewives of Orange County star wants you to know that you too can be an insurance megastar (and meet a winner like Brooks Ayers at conventions! Enticing, no?) if only you learn from her experiences.
I was hoping for some killer throwback photos of Vicki and co. in the good old days, but yeah there were none. We also reviewed the offerings of Wines By Wives. Now there’s nothing I love more than a bottle of red, but a memoir sans childhood photos? Not so much!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR OUR REVIEWS!
Well… that was shocking wasn’t it? This Friday evening “20/20″ bestowed upon Brooks Ayers the honor of giving him his own segment on the popular news show. Even Slave Smiley hasn’t been that lucky!
Yep, in front of the whole nation, on a nationally syndicated immensely popular news show, Brooks was outed as a deadbeat dad by his ex-girlfriend NicoletteCatanzarite. How’d you like them apples? Or oranges, if you will. I say Karma is a bitch, and I love her for it!
I’m sure Bravo is beside themselves with glee over the news that Real Houewives of Orange County‘s stellar reputation has been besmirched by the allegations – and I am most positiveVicki Gunvalson‘s obsessive love for con-man Brooks will suddenly wilt. In fact I anticipate that very soon she’ll be issuing a statement about how they’ve grown apart, but she wishes him nothing but love.
And whaddya wanna bet Vicki‘s friendship with Tamra Barney will be rekindled, with a statement about how Tamra was good friend, just looking out for her.
So sign up for your Wines By Wives membership (you get a free gift!) and start reviewing Vicki’s book – we know you have a lot to say about both! The best reader reviews will be published on our site, so get them done, keep them fun and snarky, and most importantly: BE HONEST! I know I will be!
Please submit your reviews to firstname.lastname@example.org. We welcome photos of you sampling the products – so if you had a wine tasting, we wanna see! Please include the name you’d like your review to be published under.
Oh, Vicki Gunvalson… we all know the truth. After you were forced to return your rent-a-mink (for which your deposit was surely lost following the pit-stains and odor of BO) you are now denouncing fur! Suuuurrrrre… a likely story.
“The world has changed and I must change as well. Fur, while it was never something I needed or specifically wanted, it was in my mindset as something glamorous and a sign of success for a woman,” Vicki mused in her Bravo blog.
Of course, now that the Real Housewives of Orange County star realized the fur she loved was only her’s for an evening, she is claiming that she covets fur no more! And she’s giving PETA all the credit for her epiphany! “That is absolutely no longer the case. When PETA sent me video footage of investigations on fur farms, I was horrified by the cruelty involved,” she claims.
Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.
‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!
Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra!
In her Bravo blog, Vicki compares Tamra to Jeana Keough, writing, “I…believe Tamra should not have chosenHeather [Dubrow]‘s party to replay her drama with the wine episode with Jeana. Remember why Tamra was mad at Jeana last year? To refresh your memory, it was because Jeana was getting involved in Tamra and Simon’s marriage and “butting in.” Hmmm. . .isn’t that what she has been doing with Brooks and I?”
If there’s one thing we know for certain, it’s that reality TV and BFF-hood don’t mix. Repeat: Do not come on a reality show with your BFFL and expect it to be buddy-buddy 4 eva. It seems the second the cameras start rolling and the editing kicks in – along with the drinks and the contracts stipulating drama, fights, and backstabbing, the individual interviews and the out-famewhoring and jealousy – these long-time friendships melt faster than an ice cube in a toaster.
Friendship divorces have come to dominate reality TV and sadly it was often those friendships that got us hooked on the show in the first place. When a friendship divorce happens, often it leaves the fans as divided as the main characters.
So here’s to the used-to-be friends and their friendship divorces. So sorry it didn’t work out – but sometimes one person’s loss is another’s gain! Big things can come from public relationship break-ups.
Reality Tea has compiled a list of some of our most memorable friendship divorces.
And I bet you guys were thinking that Slade Smiley would never have any “celebrity guests” on his new radio show! The host with the most BS recently welcomed the shy and demure Tamra Barney into the studio for some Real Housewives of Orange County radio gold. I don’t know about y’all, but I am so glad that these two crazy kids are finally playing nice…at least with each other!
We got a little preview of what the pair would be discussing when Gretchen Rossitweeted, @TamraBarney and @SladeSmiley talk about some cast members Bull Honkey today on radio Slade!”
Tamra responded, @GretchenRossi @sladesmiley are you suggesting I talk about “victim Barbie.” Oh, the ol’ Victim Barbie interview! I wonder to whom she is referring…