If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
I'm sure you've heard that for a hot minute Vicki Gunvalson's business partner, Robert Williamson III, was suing her alleging that she attempted to defraud him of partial ownership of Vicki's Vodka.
It turned out the Real Housewives of Orange County star "gifted" Brooks Ayers 16.67% of her stake of the company and then Brooks proceeded to re-sell that percentage to Robert for $50,000 right out from under Vicki's surgically altered nose!
Long story short, Vicki and Robert worked out their issue, he appeared on last week's episode of RHOC (convenient timing, no?) and dropped the suit against Vicki. But he is still suing Brooks! For what, I don't know? Maybe Brooks can sell him a pair of slightly used veneers. Or some ocean front property in Mississippi.
Brooks is responding to Robert's allegations and finding that Hallmark cards and petty threats don't always make the bad guys go away, but he wants the suit dismissed anyway. He also admits that sure he sold his shares, but it was to help his child Your Honor!
In her Bravo blog, Lydia discusses returning from the Great White North to a sense of normalcy. She writes, "Coming off of the girls trip to Canada, it was good to get back to our normal routines. This episode really showed all of our personal lives rather then our relationships with one another. . .and I kind of liked that." You know, of all these women, I think Lydia is the only one who truly does enjoy being normal and drama-free!
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was pretty boring. And by boring I mean tragic. And deafening. Gretchen Rossi tried to sing but she forgot to bring the big, pink plastic handbag holding her autotune with her. Oh the results were more tragic than a Made in Sweatshop plasticine Gretchen Christine handbag. Also plastic her face and now her lips. We'll discuss in a minute…
Moving on to other adventures in RHOC things, are still a mess betweenVicki Gunvalson and Brooks. And by a mess I mean Vicki's life and hair are sadly reflecting her inner life. Get a brush and comb things out. Seriously – get a smoothing serum too. And call Dr. V.
So let's begin… Gretchen has returned from Whistler and her friendship with Tamra Barney is as frozen and icy as her face. Did I mention her hair doesn't move either but it permanently looks wind swept? How? Mystery of science if I've ever seen one. Let's call Myth Busters!
So, Tamra Barney, who has been peddling the redemption storyline this season, was trying to convince us that she and Gretchen had really moved past seasons worth of hatred. But alas when the two got started with wedding wars, all hell broke loose!
The story goes that Gretchen and Slave Smiley were supposed to get engaged last season on TV and get a wedding spinoff/storyline. But Slave screwed up with all his child support woes and bad behavior that made fans detest him so Bravo conspired behind their backs and pawned the engagement storyline off on Tamra.
A few weeks agoBrooks Ayers tried to seek some attention and con Vicki Gunvalson back into loving him by spilling deets of their break-up on twitter. Vicki never actually confirmed or denied the relationship ending… until now!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star admits that her "love tank is empty" once again! “I‘m single now," Vickireveals to RadarOnline. "We have decided to remain friends but we have decided to move on and date other people.”
Perhaps Vicki's decision to end things with Brooks came after her business partner planned to sue her over one of Brooks' grifting schemes! “We came to the realization that it was harder to stay together than it was to be apart,” VIcki says of their relationship ending.
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County the battle in the blizzard continued. Vicki Gunvalson tried her darndest to ice out Lauri Peterson after she accused her of threesomes and cheating, but Lauri refused to be silenced. Until Vicki said she'd be her friend again; then Lauri perked up like someone handed her a latte and an AmEx.
Could it be that she thinks Vicki accepting her is her gateway drug back onto RHOC? Let's hope not unless she gets that wonky lip fixed. One would think Lauri froze her face to a -28 degree ice wall instead of Tamra Barney!
Things begin with Tamra, Vicki, and their eye makeup meeting for a pre-dinner pow-wow. Vicki is still reeling from her confrontation on the slopes and it obviously clouded her judgment because she was wearing an adults Muppet costume with furry sleeves. She boasted that they're removable, which is a good thing cause she can take them off for dinner so they don't dredge in her food. Fashion meet function, baby!